Kayla McIntosh
Bio
Personal tell-all pieces: Word of the Day and Jail Journal. Secret poet on the side. ( I don't use Ai to write any posts, everything is done manually. )
Stories (317)
Filter by community
It's My Country
Imagine you're in a foreign land. Not being able to speak the language, connecting to the culture, nor understanding the protocol in any situation, hoping that the pocketbook dictionary you're desperately clinging to and your little knowledge before arriving will get you along somehow. Now picture that the language was your first, that culture was the one you were born into, and that "home-country" you remember isn't a physical place but can only be found in your mind. If you were able to do that vividly enough, then you would know how having Asperger's Syndrome feels to me; It's the closest way I can find to explain it to someone who asks me the daunting question, "What is that?" by unknowing people.
By Kayla McIntoshabout a year ago in Psyche
Jail Journal: Page 14. Content Warning.
No idea why I am just focused on food right now but, I guess it is best marker for what portion to he day were in. Hopefully I start my period and that'll explain the sudden cravings. Otherwise, I'm pregnant and that is horrible to imagine being in a place like this.
By Kayla McIntoshabout a year ago in Criminal
Jail Journal: Page 13. Content Warning.
I almost didn't want to write about that last dream since it was so disturbing in nature. If I was remote viewing into a parallel reality or something of that sort, I feel sorry or them. Either way, it won't be good for me to dwell on what I saw. I need to focus on the waking world now and its problems.
By Kayla McIntoshabout a year ago in Criminal
Jail Journal: Page 12. Content Warning.
I don't feel particularly clever right now. I don't know my housing situation anymore. Men are so unreliable too. You ask them for help and they ask why. Society is too self serving anymore. I don't really care either at this point. I am just leaving everything up to god. I just have to focus on my own goals and anyone who doesn't align with them has to go. When another crossroad moment happenes, that is what I'll have to keep in mind.
By Kayla McIntoshabout a year ago in Criminal
Word of the Day: 認定
I am in Blackrock just trying to finish my pages I need to upload here but it is so difficult, I am having to process through the hard emotions of what I went through still, the emotions come flooding back in and I am in a spot I have visited a few times.
By Kayla McIntoshabout a year ago in Confessions
Jail Journal: Page 11. Content Warning.
I am pretty sure Yuuichirou would think I am bat shit crazy if I told him my theories of what happened to Yumiko. I started overthinking and coming up with dumb shit. Even if it is spiritually true, the tangible implications is too hard to bear at times. It doesn't always equate to fair relations in the corporeal.
By Kayla McIntoshabout a year ago in Criminal
Jail Journal: Page 10. Content Warning.
That vision really frightened me, I was cycling through different realities and dimensions from the overload. It made me pray over the whole ordeal for the first time in my life. I was crying in the blankets, not wanting to deal with any of it.
By Kayla McIntoshabout a year ago in Criminal
Jail Journal: Page 8. Content Warning.
I am sort of applying Cedar Hills strategy here: keep a Journal and try to do Qi Gong. The Qi Gong part is kind of out the window as I forgot a lot of the moves so I am just sort of dancing to myself in the mornings. Either way this whole thing is a super humbling experience, for sure.. Really the only thing I thought of or felt truly is regret of not visiting Yuuichirou before all this bullshit.
By Kayla McIntoshabout a year ago in Criminal
