I Have Always Depended on Stealing the Memes of Strangers
With Apologies in Advance to Any Garys Reading This
I'm back! ⚡😉👍
Are you excited?
Be excited, friends and reading captives!!!
This is an entirely new Edition of Meme-ing Madness! (11/11/24)
_____ {Black & White audiences always applaud the Best!}
Years ago, I started this whole crazy lazy concept of stealing memes from social media and then posting them here on Vocal. Because of personal issues (electric storms in my head a.k.a. seizures) I left Vocal for a while.
Posted nothing.
It was a sad time for ya'all, I know.
But I now have a handle on my bilateral temporal lobe dysfunction! I'm busy writing again, mostly poems and superhero fiction. Horror too. I write a lot of horror stories.
Superheroes like me are subjected to strange and terrible things.
When I first started posting my magnificent memes on Vocal, they did not have a Humor Community. I was shocked! (get it?⚡🤣😂 ) I suggested in this => article that they should create a place for Comedy. What did Vocal eventually do? They created a Humor Community so they could claim they didn't steal my idea for a Comedy Community.
Pretty diabolical, right?
😠
⚡_______________⚡
Lately, I've been moving all my old shit over here, where it belongs, in the place for Humor. I originally posted my crap in Journal, Geeks, Humans, Filthy, even FYI, I think.
It was chaotic as hell.
It's all Vocal's fault.
Now, as I've been moving my older stuff over here— I'm sure a lot of you are thinking, 'Well, this is pretty fucked-up! I've already read this caca years ago! Is he that lazy? Is he that lame a comedian?'
Yes, I am.
Guilty as charged. (get it? ⚡🤣😂)
This Edition, however, is All New Material! None of you have read this before! You're all in the same boat together! Support each other if you feel sick!
The Standard W A R N I N G applies: these jokes are abysmal, juvenile, repetitive, snotty, predictable, hairy (don't ask), sometimes smutty, kinda stinky, advocate heavy drug use, and are too asinine to be called hilarious. You'll note, however, I used the HILARIOUS tag at the bottom.
I also used LAUGHTER.
So laugh it up, bitches!
Don't make a liar out of me!
Show some effort!
Let's see.... ⚡🤔
What else should I WARN you about?
....⚡🤔
....⚡🤔
....⚡🤔
Oh, fuck it! I can't think of anything else. I have certified bad brains. Let's just proceed and see where this takes us.
DO step out, or log off, or throw your phone at a wall if you suddenly feel demon-possessed. My on-call Exorcist from a previous edition of meme-ing madness doesn't like me anymore. He won't answer his phone, not even in an emergency.
I truly thought it was okay to puke on him. I honestly didn't think he'd mind. I thought he was used to vomit because of his profession. Turns out I was wrong.
I never should have mixed Teguila with vodka.
Who knew? 🤷⚡
⚡_______________⚡
Let's Get Started!
Here are the Memes!
⚡_______________⚡
#1) — feeling McHorny
Let's negotiate.
I'll need two of those blueberry muffins you advertise, one for each hand, with a blueberry on each popping out, totally erect. I'll need coffee and cream for afterwards (just to establish the silly theme of this edition of Meme-ing madness; you'll see.) I'm kinda hungry so a quarter pounder with no cheese would be cool too. If you put cheese on my hamburger, I'll fuck you up! I like cheese on pizza and, of course on my tacos, but not on my quarter pounder.
RONALD CANNOT WATCH!!!
Neither can any employees named Gary.
If you meet my demands, then I'll meet yours. We can go again right now if you wanna. I'll come like a geyser inside you. ⚡😎👍 My lightning rod is always one stroke away from raging hard. And I've got McStamina, baby. That's yet another benefit of being able to recover super-fast. {{ See my list of superpowers HERE. }}
We got a deal?
⚡_______________⚡
#2) — feeling sorta lackluster
I think it's totally unfair to call me lazy! Some of us just have a worldview where we like to see things as either black or white. Shades of grey don't suit a superhero.
Do you think we have time to pause and question what's the motivation of the frothing Hyena-guy attacking us?
If a supervillain is ranting about all the wicked stuff that he's gonna do, do you think we should stop and question if his underlying issues go back to his childhood traumas?
Oh, no, no, NO!
If I had ever had kids, that ⚡☝️ would have been exactly the coloring book I'd use to teach some valuable life lessons!
Besides— it saves money on crayons.
⚡_______________⚡
#3) — feeling dreamy
_____.... and then we fucked!!!
In the deli section!
Using oil olive!
While the Garys were hung up by their toes using dental floss!
🤤🫡
I was really surprised by how tiny your dinosaur penis was.
🤷♂️
Thank God for Evolution!!!
But let's leave the past in the past, shall we?
⚡_______________ ⚡
#4) — feeling like I should be wearing a tuxedo
No additional commentary needed from me, right? The B&W theme speaks for itself!
Yes, I'm lazy.
Guilty as charged. ⚡🤣😂
⚡_______________ ⚡
#5) — feeling like I need help after being assigned hazardous duties on the police force
Naturally, that meme ⚡☝️ should be accompanied with music. This also fits the theme because it's from The White Album.
Do you feel like Family yet?
I know the quips for #5 are obscure and you might not have the background knowledge to laugh at them. Here's what you should try...
Take some LSD and a lot of amphetamines. Engage in communal living and pretend you're a hippy. Then you'll likely understand these jokes.
Orgies help too.
Trust me: orgies are helpful with most of life's problems.
⚡_______________⚡
Not #Numbered because it's not supposed to be here (REMOVE!)
NOTE TO SELF— I can never find my notes. I'll temporarily stick this ⚡☝️in my drafts on Vocal. Just don't forget to remove it from Vocal before publishing this!!!
DON'T!
SELF: You also need an appearance from a superheroine in this edition. People look forward to seeing the superheroines. DON'T forget to add a pic of a superpowered babe!
DON'T FORGET!
{I forgot.}
⚡_______________⚡
#6) — feeling supportive
Me encantan los tacos!
Always and forever!
🥰🥰
⚡_______________⚡
#7) — feeling suspicious
Exactly how many of those short people were named Gary? 🤨
⚡_______________⚡
#8) — feeling healthy!
Me encantan los tacos!
Always and forever!
🥰🥰
And FUCK Zucchini up its zuwassi!
#NoLongerFeelingHealthy #Idontcare
⚡_______________ ⚡
NOTE TO SELF: This edition of this horseshit is entirely too long. Remove some of my rambling at the top. People like it short.
Except for my dick, of course.
⚡_______________ ⚡
#9) — feeling two-faced!
How did people differentiate between manic and depressive states before the Internet?
🤷♂️
{{ What I just learned recently about my wacky mental condition ==> One Min Poetry }}
⚡_______________ ⚡
#10) — feeling educational
Black and white.
Clearly wrong behavior.
No shades of grade.
⚡_______________ ⚡
#11) — feeling weirded out
The sentiment seems very clear in this meme. It's straight to the point. Very black and white.
But this whole meme is comprised of nothing but grays!
I find this very disturbing.
{{ And don't even get me started on that time we fought those notorious supervillains: the Paranoid Onions. That story is a tearjerker! Literally.}}
⚡_______________ ⚡
#12) — feeling educational again!
It's because someone had demonic bowel syndrome.
{Yes, I have used this joke before. I don't care. I'm lazy.}
⚡_______________ ⚡
#13) — feeling like this routine needs to end soon
That toe story ended entirely too soon in my estimation. But the audience on the Internet does like things short. { Except for my dick. ⚡😉👍}
Did that feel like a decent climax?
I'm marginally satisfied.
Was it good for you too?
Oh, what the hell. I suspect the only people who bitch about me writing long are Garys.
There. I said it.
All you Garys can just go away!
⚡_______________ ⚡
I'm taking this Episode long!
⚡_______________ ⚡
#14) — feeling like I should reference a B&W movie before I go
I know I'm spoiled because I'm a superhero.
But I actually prefer Breakfast At Epitome's.
Their flapjacks are the best!
Their coffee is the ultimate!!
Their morning glories are magnificent (—so transformative, there's no need to even hit snooze)!!!!
⚡_______________ ⚡
#15) — suddenly feeling dead on my feet
More coming soon!
Inflict these memes on your nemesis!
______Subscribe!
I hope you laughed.
If you didn't, you disappoint me.
Still...
I thank you for your support!
___________________Bolt ⚡
More about me and my former appearance! ⚡ 😁👇
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Comments (16)
LMAO, this was like getting zapped by a lightning bolt of unfiltered chaos and a horny superhero energy — I feel disturbed, mildly inspired, and slightly concerned for all the Garys. 10/10, would read again under medical supervision. Welcome back!
A wild, chaotic, and hilarious return to meme madness—glad to see you back in action!
OMG! You, this, is the funniest thing I've read in way too long! I am so damn chipper now! For years I remembered a childhood boy named Gary. I retold stories to family and friends about me and Gary. Guess what? His name is Steve! 😂
I love the cover photo and your caption underneath, it’s hilarious. Then the audience laughing, they look so creepy but so very funny especially since they are in black and white. I like how you skilfully made jokes out of your seizures, I admire that so much, that you aren’t allowing it to control you — you control it in a way through this piece. It really felt as though I was at your show sitting in the audience. That dream that didn’t turn out to be a sexual dream, but then you redirected it entirely oh my gosh 🤣🤣🤣 The request to remove the note to myself — then needing to remove it before publishing this then forgetting 🤣🤣🤣 I can’t get over those groups of ‘don’ts’ and how you added repetition to enhance its effect 🤣🤣🤣 The jab at Garry for being short 🤣🤣🤣 I agree with the toe story 😂😂🤣😂🤣😂 This was my first introduction to your work and my first real dive into reading what’s in the humour community, even though that’s true, you’re quite easily the king of that community. A very well deserved TS too 🎊🎉🎊👏🏽
always love laughing! REQUIRED...thank you
🎉 Congrats on getting Top Story—well deserved! 🌟 Keep up the amazing work! 💪✨
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
So glad to see this series is back 🤣
I am legit dying laughing 'All Vocal's fault' 🤣Most things are. I particularly liked the penguin/zoo one. Brilliant and congrats on TS C 💜
tears I have! love so many! congrats on Top Story!
Brilliant & Mind Blowing Your Story ❤️ Please Read My Stories and Subscribe Me
The two that got me was the Manson one and the Pooh one. RED shirts on Star Trek never came back and Charlie good morning angels was just kind of sick you if you show this one again if you can find music from that movie Helter Skelter. Seen the movie on tv and it still makes me scared and tearful even though he is dead.
Hahahahahahaha 10 and 11 were my favourite! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Classic! I especially like the one about the coloring book for lazy people. That was really clever.
Guess you had lots of vodka b4 writing this. very entertaining and not at all short . get it, short people...short story. Ok. ok. it was interesting to say the least.
Funny and irreverent as always!