I Have a Super Dilemma— ⚡🫤

I'm a superhero. ⚡😁👍

It's a dangerous job, but somebody's gotta do it.

I often wonder how many other superheroic authors are on Vocal. ⚡🤔

I know one thing: I've personally yet to encounter another openly superheroic person (or supervillain— or SuperIDontCare) who writes here. Am I the only one?

⚡🤔🤔🤔

Here's a list of my powers....

Super strength (moderate, not Hulk or Superman level) ✅⚡

Superior reaction time (not Flash or Superman level, but damned impressive!) ✅⚡

Sorta fast on my feet (again not Flash or Quicksilver level, but I can run about 40 mph) ✅⚡

I can generate a powerful electrical current through my hands (but I can't project those jolts in ranged blasts (like Storm). I have to touch or punch you to ⚡ZAP⚡ you.) ✅⚡

My flesh & bones are not invulnerable (the way Superman and the Hulk are). Bullets don't bounce off of me, but just look at that spiffy shield I carry! 👁️👁️!!! I can get up close in a supervillain's face, go toe-to-toe with the worst of them, and my reaction time allows me to deflect practically all attacks.

I wear a mask like every superhero, to protect my secret identity, so my enemies don't target my loved ones. But trust me—

— another of my superpowers is I'm incredibly handsome.

And that bulge? I can't begin to tell you how many of my opponents have been distracted by my dick-print while fighting me! ⚡😉👍

Those are infrared goggles I'm wearing. 'Dealing with darkness' is a job prerequisite.

I formerly led a group of sanctioned heroes called the Indianapolis Guardians. Even the Midwest has epic problems at times. That terrible carnivorous supergroup— the Cow-Punchers— are from Indiana.

The last few years, I've started suffering from debilitating seizures created by electrical storms in both of my frontal lobes. {Truth} Who would have ever seen that coming? 🤷⚡

So I'm basically retired. Since I have a fantastic sense of humor and a swifter-than-average typing speed.... I now write shit on Vocal. ⚡

{I started here years ago but then disappeared for a while until I got a better handle on my seizures. I was also just recently diagnosed as being bipolar.}

That brings us up to present.

⚡_______________ ⚡

Here's my newest self-perceived problem....

I look at that little circle in the upper right corner that shows my profile picture, and my pictured form is so shrunk, it's hard to tell what's going on there. I'm not Ant-man or Atom. I wasn't prepared for this.

Here on Vocal, I have long used that drawing of me in my superhero garb. But every other Vocal author shows their secret identity: their faces, their eyes, their noses, their smiles— all in close-ups & all uncovered by masks!!!

And if my predicament wasn't bad enough?

That little red circle that indicates I'm a Vocal+ plus member?

Currently, Vocal places it directly over my handsome face!

Seems sorta villainous, don't you think?

Someone should investigate Vocal for behind-the-scenes nefarious activity. They already stole my idea from years ago to Create a Humor Community. They paid me nothing. And I'm very poor. Superheroes rarely set up retirement allocations because we don't expect to live that long.

Anyway.

To make a long story short....

This will be the new me. ⚡😁👇

You can still call me "__Bolt." Or "LB".

Or even "Bill" if you wanna. (<== don't tell anyone, but that's my secret identity name.)

I'm guaranteed to make your hair stand on end!

I might make you chuckle on occasion! I love making people laugh!

I love making new friends through cyberspace! I need all the friends (of every kind) that I can get.

Please don't call me if you have a power outage. Believe it or not, that's out of my field of expertise. Call your utility company. Their number should be listed on the Internet.

Check out all my humor, and poetry, and horror, and fiction, and sci fi, and pride, and superpowered love— ⚡—all here on Vocal! I've even written a Top Story or Two. Some of my stuff is hellish! 🔥🔥😈🔥🔥🔥

That's it! The moment this story publishes in Geeks I'm switching my profile pic! It's 11/11/2024!!!!

I hope you enjoyed this Thunderclap!!!

I am personally very charged up about my new appearance!

Raw Power here on Vocal!!!!

⚡

___________________Bolt ⚡