humor
Workplace witticisms, job jokes and career quips; who says work can't be a laughing matter?
Dear Family
James Rizzi In-house Expert TO: [email protected] EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: I am writing to formally inform you that I am resigning from my position as an in-house expert. Through the years I have acquired an assortment of speculatory acquisitions. These acquisitions would see me as the family go-to representative for a plethora of questions in a selective number of expertise. However, by no means am I qualified or knowledgeable enough to answer any of the asked-about subjects. Below I have listed the particular expertise that I plan to relinquish with feedback included for the sake of future working conditions, or for new potential employees (most likely my brother).
By James U. Rizzi8 months ago in Journal
I Resign, Mr. President
Dear Mr. President, I resign. No, you don't get to use your huffy red face at me and say that I can't resign because you are firing me. I SAID IT FIRST. I resign. Your budget decisions are going to ruin EVERYTHING I worked so hard on. You wanted savings, and we got you savings. Now your Big Boob Bill is undoing it all.
By Andrea Corwin 8 months ago in Journal
Untitled Public Service Announcement. Runner-Up in I Resign From… Challenge.
May 30, 2025 To whom it may concern, To Ms. Ferguson, To her. To you, To me, I don't know how formal or informal this should be. I've done a resignation letter twice. Both times I was bitter yet restrained. I tried to be respectfully disrespectful. I was calculated and careful with my word choice. Desperation was my motivation for both resignation letters. Though the forces driving each period of desperation were so drastically different. Financial stagnancy vs emotional exhaustion. No chance for lateral movement vs being paralyzed by grief and failure.
By Jada Ferguson8 months ago in Journal
Formal Resignation from the Role of Functioning Cog
To Whom It May Concern (and I know you're out there, spreadsheets in hand), Please accept this letter as my official resignation from the position of “Well-Adjusted Adult in Late Capitalism,” effective immediately, or retroactively — whichever causes less disruption to the algorithms tracking my productivity.
By Taylor Ward8 months ago in Journal
Vacillating No More… Or Will I?. Top Story - May 2025.
Dear Brain (or whatever may be in my head), We both know what this is about. Ever since I was an ugly little thing which passed off as a human child or possibly Cthulhu’s long-lost cousin, I've always had difficulty in making choices. I can't make the quick decisions like everyone else; you know, like normal people can. It’s a battle to decide on one thing or the other, be it something inconsequential or something serious with disastrous outcomes.
By Euan Brennan8 months ago in Journal
I Abdicate the Throne... . Content Warning.
Dear Universe, I am over this toxic reality where pain is inevitable and hatred reigns supreme. As an empath it is just too much to endure, feeling the emotion and energy from all around unbearable with this level of cruelty and stupidity. I resign from shouldering everything that you keep piling on my shoulders. You can take this bullshit, twisted reality show version of reality and fuck right off with it! I am done! It hurts too much to keep feeling it all, to keep seeing it all! My heart is aching from the unending trauma you have put me through since childhood and instead of giving me a fucking break, you shove fucking hot pokers into the scars.
By Luna Verity8 months ago in Journal
I'm Right Sorry
Dear Bossman, I know I ain’t got much good in my noggin, and what’s there is rattlin’ around. I got a coupla questions on your after-work program since I’m gonna bin dun workin’ here soon with baby #7 and I canna lift anythin’ heavier than a bag o’ flour or I’ll drop the little’un outta my vajayjay. We’s got a lot o’ sitiations righ now. my old man just got outta the hopsital on account of the shingles, and he done had plenty o’ problems with the IB. The dang nurses couldn’t get that needle in right. They done tore up his arms trying to find them there veins. Can your after-work porgram gonna help find nurses how do a IB rite?
By Barb Dukeman8 months ago in Journal
