6 7 Reasons Why You Should Show Me Your Sugar Plums
Disclaimer: There is No Reasoning Here Whatsoever
❗‼⚡Let your mind enter a receptive state.⚡‼ ❗
It will be saner to tolerate the fruitcake if you do.
Language is the key to misunderstanding.
There are many unanswered questions in question.
Make
Arctic
Gangster
Again!
Tariffs on snowmen have brought down the price of popsicles by 67,067%.
⚡________ ⚡
I really enjoy killing wombats. Tis the holiday season, after all.
And if you can stomach the smell, it's both fun and educational.
This "poem" is blearilessly romantic. ⚡😁 ✌
Bleck the tags at the bottom and you'll see.
"Oh, chica sucia, let me count the lays!"
#hotsauceincluded
🎼 Jingle balls Jingle balls, Jingle let's get laid!
Oh what fun it is to fuck on a vibrating sleigh.🎵
Hey!🎶
If you could be naughty now, that sure would be nice.
Piece on Earth🌎, Good Tits to Me! ( . ) ( . )
It's not exactly better to Give than Receive. Those-Who-69 are far more affable under the mistletoe than mere smoochers. Just sayin.
Don't tell me I don't known nuthin about love poetry!
This👆 counts!
(+ it's filthy)
⚡________ ⚡
I feel like singing! (to deserve the lyrics tag)
The following carol⤵ will be sung by a Muskbot impressonating the President.
Parental Mascretion is Umtrized.
/'\ <insert music here>/'\
⚡🤖⚡
🎼🎵🎶 It's beginning to look a lot like Trumpmas
Everywhere I.C.E. goes
Take a look at the price of eggs
No longer cost an arm and a leg
And the Oval Office is now more fit with gold!
(~@%)
🎼🎵🎶 It's beginning to look a lot like Trumpmas
MAGA will never schism
"Put gingerbread men away!"
Declared a shirtless RFK (junior)
Unvaccinated elves never get autism
(~@%)
Bigly Beautiful Bridge ⤵
🎼🎵🎶 Accolades for refutin' and pictures with Putin
He stopped at least eight wars
Economy A+++
but it's never enough
for all the piggy liberal whores!
And if Biden hadn't fucked things up, we'd have done so much more!
(~@%)
🎼🎵🎶 It's beginning to look a lot like Trumpmas
Deportations to El Salvadore
Venezuelan boats blown up
Second taps aren't corrupt
He deserves a Nobel Peace Prize and so much more!
(~@%)
🎼🎵🎶 It's beginning to look a lot like Revenge en Mass
Comedians must go!
Anytime a joke provokes
Broadcast licences should be revoked
Especially if their ratings really blow
...oh...oh...
oh no
<glitch,⚡ spark,💥💥zzzzzzz📉hitlerhaddaanswer 📈***~~! <🗯>lisidiggledoddledimgimery--- haha! 😂🤣⚛ 💥⚡💥 llookk OUT! *&^%$#$@!+ 💥⚡⚡ ... ssss ⚡💌Big Brother👁is Programming you (&me&CaptainKangaroo makes3⃣) 67 =67 +67-67⬇filters disengaged📴:the🙉Truth of 🙈the Matter 🙊⚓🌀⚡
IS🔃
🎼🎵🎶 It's beginning to look a lot like the End Times ⏱
Gerrymandering was stopped in Indiana
🤯
The world used to make some sense
War wasn't the same as defense
And military drones didn't shoot down Santa!
💥🧑🎄🎃
💥💥 💥🔥💥
💥🔥💥
🫎💯🦌🐪🐐🦌🦄🦬🦇💥🔥💥
🩸 🩸🩸🩸 🩸🩸🩸 🩸
🔥🆘🤸
😱
⚡________ ⚡
Sending
Authentic/Autistic
News
To
All
(...who are smart enough to listen.)
#knownothingliberalsknownothing
SANTAisAsnowflake/socialist!❄
⚡________ ⚡
6 7.>6 7>.6 7.)6 7(6 7~ SIX SEVEN✔
⚡________ ⚡
Are you fucking kidding me?!? You've been secretly dating Cupid for months and you never once thought to introduce me to Dasher?!? You know how much I love to dash! I work for DoorDash, for fuck's dogglesake!
I dream of dashing with Dasher!
Some friend you are!
Are you enthralled yet?
As for me and simbllississ
We'rm highly susceptible to dénouement.
⚡________ ⚡
Dogs are like immigrants from another country who are just learning the native language. If I wound up in Mexico, I would understand only certain words and phrases, like "taco"and "burrito" and "Donde esta the tacos" and "cupa mi verga."
Dogs are like that, right? They know their names, and words like "outside", and "treats", and "crème brûlée".
But my dog looks at me with incomprehension when I talk about wombats.
Or when I say 6 7.
It's annoying.
Wait!!!
{-.>❗❗EPIPHANY ALERT!!❗❗ <.-}
Is it possible that German Shepherds only speak German?
Hm.
🤔
I need to buy both Oscar Meyer weiners and some braunschweiger to conduct an experiment. Hippledimrickyhummazig.
Un-fun fact: Liverwurst is made from the finest worst livers of domesticated wild boars.
It's called juxtapositioning.
⚡________ ⚡
Did you know that Mrs Claus thinks Santa is cheating on her every December 25th?
He'd never do that!
That man is a saint!
🙏😇
IYF, the Christmas spirit's name is Gertrude.
She died in a tragic sleighing accident.
Her & Casper are a b00s0me.
👻👼
⚡________ ⚡
Bah Humbug Haiku
Christmas poetry
happens only once a year
if we are lucky
⚡________ ⚡
I have a confession
"Ho Ho Ho!" isn't my Santa-impression
Do you wanna know the twist?
"Ho Ho Ho" is who's on my wish list!!!
⚡________ ⚡
Does this powerful prepubescent 'poem' qualify for a surreal tag?
🤔
<sigh>
Shit.
Probably not.
Maybe next time.
Why did I say "prepubescent"? (An awfulligore side-maffect of reading too much of the Epstein Files?😱)
I think when I did that I was submuggaconciously trying for the children's poetry tag.
I've already nabbgged
A lot of tabstags
And I will take just one monumamonent to mellemdention that
transgender mice should be AGAINST THE LAW.
That single sentence⬆qualifies me for both a nature tag and a social commentary tag.
Am I write?
My heart is 6 7 sizes too small....
/🍆\ but I-yi-yi make up 4 it in udder areas. 😉
<missspelllings intendinal>
If anything, 2025 has taught me I'm no poet. Or Coppertoned copper-smith.
But
T
h
e Quest for 6 7 6 7 6 7Redacted Labubu Pictures Continues.....
..... and LuSidity suffers for a lack of suffering.
Amen.
🎄________ 🎄
This was idiocy, but the jury is still out on my own level of lack of intelligence. I'll let you know as soon as I don't know.
Blessings to You & Yours this Holiday Season!
Sending Love❤ & Light ✨
*
_________________Bolt⚡
Just look👁👁at all them👇(totally appropriate) tags!
About the Creator
Keep reading
More stories from Lightning Bolt ⚡ and writers in Poets and other communities.
How Much Does It Cost for Stream of Consciousness with a Side Order of Surreal?
🔔❗WARNING☠: The Director of the Department of Health and Human Services has proven that reading anything by Lightning Bolt does cause autism. Tylenol exlipicates the affectssituations. You've been warned. Proceed at your own ridiculousness.
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I met Jason when I was five years old. I could say that I loved him from the moment I saw him. He was so handsome to me and I felt in awe by his presence. When they introduced him as the new kid in school, I wanted to be his friend right away. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember his smile and how he didn't seem shy. He appeared confident and ready to learn. I waved at him and said "hello," before anyone else could even say a word. He sat next to me, and I asked him if he wanted to be friends. He looked so happy as he said, "Yes!"
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Comments (11)
A poem written as if coming down from a high if you know what I mean and I think you do. Good job and Happy new year to you.
I loved watching this glorious trainwreck in its entirety. I wallowed shamelessly in the chaos. It called to mind a "dump cake." The poem looks like you've just dumped all the ingredients in and started the mixer. Yet, somehow something delicious emerges. I've never actually had, or made, a dump cake, but I've heard the term, so I looked it up and found something else - "32 Easy Dump Cake Recipes That Require No Effort." That set me off laughing again because it echoed the tone of your poem, which only APPEARS to require no effort. And on the very last day to do so, I've found another one of my favorite works of 2025. Wildly good.
help
It said written by Lightning Bolt and I believe it. Bravo.
Bummer. I wanted to see the Labubu, wishing it was a Blind Box one. Did you just finish playing Lightning in "Song Sung Blue"? I coulda swore... Anyway, thanks for the very entertaining read. Made my morning.
Woo!! what a sleigh ride this was. thank you for making us survive these dark times with your humor
That was quite a ramble! I enjoyed the humour placed between the darker items. Happy holidays to you as well!
Well, that covered a lot of territory - I think. Maybe not. Either way, if was a heuckuva fun read. Thanks for the laughs, Bill!
😅😅😅😝🤩 Now THAT was some post-Christmas fun. Unhinged, erratic, accurate (at times, lol) and hilarious. The part about the tariffs took me out. Happy holidays, my friend!
What a fantastic postmodern anti-Christmas collage this is! One thing—JFK junior died in a plane crash. RFK junior would make more sense (or in your parenthetical aside, “junior’s cousin”).
Totally random thoughts and Michal Bubles Cry Me A River is awesome but I don;t usually like his music but I like him as a person