breakups
When it comes to breakups, pain is inevitable, but Humans thinks that suffering is optional.
Why I Stopped Chasing People Who Didn’t Care: The Peace I Found in Letting Go
For years, I was running after people who didn’t care. Not literally chasing them down the street, but emotionally—constantly reaching out, seeking their approval, craving their attention, and hoping for something that never came.
By Muhammad Sabeel9 months ago in Humans
Having Feelings for Two People at Once: A Heartfelt Dilemma or a Double Disaster?. AI-Generated.
Having feelings for one person is already a full-time emotional job. So what happens when you realize you’re drawn to two people at the same time? Suddenly it feels like working a double shift, juggling texts, sweet gestures, and inside jokes for two different hearts, hoping none of them notice you’re clocking in overtime affection.
By Tiara Yuann9 months ago in Humans
Ten Years. One Promise. A Love Worth Waiting For.
Ten Years. One Promise. A Love Worth Waiting For. The autumn gust sent red leaves swirling through Millbrook Station as Claire Hastings stepped down from the evening train, clutching a well-worn sketchbook to her chest. She stood undecided beneath the ancient iron clock—7:02 p.m., the same moment that she left ten years ago—and drew the cold air over the quiver of hope in her body.
By Md. Rifat Hossain9 months ago in Humans
Dr Ofweneke: Wife, Real Name, Biography, Tribe, Age, Net Worth & More
Dr Ofweneke, born Sande Bush, is a celebrated Kenyan comedian, TV host, and entrepreneur known for his sharp wit and signature Nigerian accent. From humble beginnings to becoming a household name, his journey is as inspiring as it is entertaining. In this article, we uncover everything about his real name, tribe, age, wife, career, and net worth.
By Marveline Merab9 months ago in Humans
This One Relationship Mistake Feels Harmless—Until It Destroys Everything
What if the reason your relationships keep falling apart isn’t bad luck—but a blind spot that no one ever told you about? Six months later, they’re fighting, avoiding each other, or quietly breaking inside the same bed.
By Owais Shahid9 months ago in Humans
The Psychology Behind; Why We Fall for the Wrong People
It starts with a spark—a glance across a room, a well-timed text, a shared moment that feels fated. Before long, you’re swept into something that feels like a whirlwind, intoxicating and warm. But as the days pass, discomfort creeps in. You're left wondering why, once again, you've opened your heart to someone who doesn't know how to hold it. Why do we keep falling for the wrong people? Not just once, but often enough that it becomes a pattern? The answer lies in a complex blend of psychology, personal history, emotional wiring, and modern culture. Familiarity: The Unseen Force Behind Attraction Psychologists point to a combination of emotional conditioning, attachment styles, and subconscious familiarity. In short: we often mistake emotional intensity for compatibility. The nervous butterflies, the emotional highs and lows—they mimic the adrenaline of real connection but are often signs of unresolved trauma being triggered. If you grew up in a home where love was inconsistent—affection met with silence, praise followed by criticism—your nervous system was trained to seek instability. Not because it's good for you, but because it's familiar. Our brains, wired for survival over happiness, draw us toward what's known. That emotional rollercoaster? It feels like home. The Role of Attachment Styles Attachment theory helps explain this pattern. According to research by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, our early relationships with caregivers shape how we connect with others later in life. There are four main attachment styles: Secure: Trusting, balanced, and emotionally open. Anxious: Craves closeness but fears abandonment. Avoidant: Values independence and often pushes intimacy away. Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized): Craves love but fears getting hurt. Those with anxious or fearful attachment styles often find themselves drawn to emotionally unavailable or inconsistent partners. It's not because they want pain, but because their nervous system associates inconsistency with love. They equate longing with depth. Culture, Media, and Romantic Myths Hollywood has romanticized this dysfunction. Movies and TV shows often glorify relationships filled with drama, miscommunication, and longing, presenting them as passionate or "meant to be." We’ve been trained to believe that true love should hurt or involve a chase, rather than feel safe and reciprocal. Add to this the world of dating apps, social media comparisons, and a hookup culture, and we are left chasing highs instead of building meaningful, grounded connections. We value who validates us instead of who values us. Chemistry vs. Compatibility Chemistry can lie. It can be a reflection of trauma bonding or unresolved emotional wounds. Real compatibility, on the other hand, involves shared values, communication, emotional availability, and mutual respect. But because compatibility often feels "too easy" to those conditioned for chaos, they dismiss it as boring. The truth? Healthy love feels calm. It feels safe. And that can be unsettling if you're used to instability. Trauma Bonding: A Hidden Trap A trauma bond is formed through repeated cycles of abuse, neglect, or inconsistency. The intermittent reinforcement—moments of affection followed by emotional withdrawal—can create an addictive loop. It's not the person you're addicted to; it's the cycle. When the "wrong" person gives you crumbs of love after withholding affection, your brain floods with dopamine. You associate their return with relief and connection, even if the relationship is largely harmful. Self-Worth and the Fear of Being Alone Low self-esteem plays a major role in who we choose. If deep down you believe you are unworthy of lasting love, you may subconsciously pursue people who affirm that belief. The fear of being alone often pushes people to settle for less, to keep chasing what’s familiar rather than what’s fulfilling. We think, "Maybe if I love them enough, they'll change. Maybe this time, they'll stay." But love shouldn't be an endurance test. The Turning Point: Awareness and Accountability Recognition is power. The moment you identify your pattern is the moment you start to shift it. Healing begins with curiosity: "What does healthy love look like? Why am I drawn to what hurts me?" This isn’t about blaming yourself—it’s about taking back control. You can choose to unlearn the patterns that once kept you stuck. You can choose to do the work: therapy, journaling, emotional regulation, boundary-setting. With each step, your definition of love evolves. How to Break the Cycle 1. Reflect on Your History: Identify your earliest experiences with love and connection. How did your caregivers express affection? 2. Identify Your Attachment Style: There are many online quizzes and professional assessments that can help. 3. Notice Red Flags Early: Inconsistency, lack of communication, emotional unavailability—treat them as signs, not challenges. 4. Practice Self-Compassion: Falling for the wrong people doesn’t make you foolish. It makes you human. 5. Rewire Your Desires: Spend time around emotionally safe people. Learn to associate stability with attraction. 6. Set Clear Boundaries: Know what you will and won't accept. Enforce those boundaries consistently. 7. Seek Support: Therapy, support groups, and even online communities can help reinforce your healing. Embracing a New Narrative Falling for the wrong people doesn’t make you broken. It simply means there is healing to be done—and the good news is, healing is possible. As you start choosing peace over chaos, consistency over confusion, and connection over chemistry, you begin to align with people who can meet you where you are. The right person won't ignite your anxiety. They'll bring you peace. And yes, it will feel strange at first—quiet, even boring. But eventually, you’ll realize that the calm, steady rhythm of healthy love is what your soul was craving all along. No more fixing, chasing, or proving. Just two people showing up, choosing each other, day by day. That kind of love? It heals you. It elevates you. And most of all, it lasts. If this story resonated with you, consider sharing it or leaving a comment. Your experiences matter, and your healing journey could be the mirror someone else needs to begin their own.
By Shabir Ahmad9 months ago in Humans
What Is Love?
Love: What Is It? Why Do We Fall in Love Again and Again? Love. A four-letter word that carries the weight of the world. We experience it in the deepest parts of our hearts, hear it in songs, and see it in movies. But what exactly is love? And why do we, as humans, fall into it—often without warning, and sometimes without logic? For centuries, poets, philosophers, scientists, and dreamers have tried to define it. Still, love refuses to be placed in a neat little box. It is vast, powerful, and deeply human. Defining Love: More Than Just a Feeling Love is more than just butterflies in your stomach or a racing heart. It's not limited to candlelit dinners or handwritten notes—though those are beautiful, too. At its core, love is connection. It’s the invisible thread that ties one soul to another. It’s the care in your voice when someone’s hurting. It’s the comfort of being understood without needing to explain. Love is both the spark that starts the fire and the quiet warmth that keeps it burning. From a scientific perspective, love is a chemical cocktail. Dopamine brings joy and excitement. Oxytocin builds trust and bonding. Serotonin boosts our mood. These chemicals are what make falling in love feel so euphoric—and sometimes, so addictive. However, love is not solely chemical. It’s also a choice. A daily decision to care, to listen, to show up—even when it’s not easy. Why Do We Fall in Love? Now that we know what love feels like, let’s explore the deeper question: why do we fall in love? 1. We’re Wired for Connection Humans are social beings. From birth, we crave touch, attention, and closeness. Evolutionarily, love helped us form partnerships, raise children, and survive. Our ancestors relied on deep bonds to build trust and stability. We still possess that instinct today. 2. Emotional Fulfillment We fall in love with people who make us feel seen, valued, and safe. When someone understands our pain, shares our joy, or supports our dreams, we feel emotionally fulfilled. That’s the kind of connection love is built on. 3. Psychological Needs Love gives us a sense of belonging. It helps us feel important to someone. A lot of us fall in love because we want to be known, needed, and appreciated. Love reassures us that we are not alone. 4. Attraction and Chemistry Sometimes love begins with a spark—something instant and electric. It could be a smile, a conversation, or even the way someone laughs. That chemistry is hard to define but impossible to ignore. 5. Timing and Circumstance Love is often about when as much as who. We might meet the right person at the wrong time, or the wrong person at a moment when we’re vulnerable. Sometimes, timing aligns perfectly—and love flows naturally. The Beautiful Mystery Even with all the science and psychology, love still remains a mystery. Two people can seem perfect together but drift apart. Others, with completely different backgrounds, can fall in love deeply and unexpectedly. Love doesn’t follow formulas. And maybe that’s what makes it so special. Final Thoughts So, what is love? Love is comfort, connection, chaos, and clarity. It's both soft and strong. It challenges us, heals us, and teaches us who we are. We fall in love because we're human. because we want to know someone, be known by them, and share a part of ourselves with them. Love makes life richer, even when it hurts. Whether you're in love, healing, or still hoping—it’s important to remember this: love is never wasted. Every experience teaches us how to love better, how to love deeper, and how to love ourselves. And maybe, in the end, that’s what love is truly about.
By Pranto Ahmed9 months ago in Humans
