A Jealous God

My boyfriend and I had a conversation about religion the other day that sparked my thoughts on something that has long confused me. My God is from the Bible and jealousy is often deemed a "bad" emotion, so... why does the Bible say that God is a jealous God?

Now, my boyfriend and I do not share the same religion. However, we both are willing to accept other's perspectives and hold space for what neither of know for sure as 100% factual.

He grew up Christian, but no longer identifies as a Christian.

When we met, he couldn't figure out for sure what "vibe" I gave off religiously. He settled on "Christian witch" - and was quite surprised that I identify with Seventh-Day Adventists because... I don't seem that conservative I guess?

Now, I am open minded - to a point - religiously speaking and only agreed to date my boyfriend because we agreed on two key details: that any deity is in charge of only their "realm" and that the deity states what they rule over. A slightly attached 3rd detail: we agree that hierarchy is not something that we subscribe too.

So when he made the comment that my God can't really like him, I responded with "but of course He likes you!"

My boyfriend pointed out that he doesn't necessarily pray to the same god that I pray to. And that my God says, "you shall have no other gods before Me as I am a jealous God."

I pointed out that my boyfriend said that he doesn't put another god before my God. He disagreed, slightly. I could feel the religious trauma that we both experienced hang in the air, but I continued despite the discomfort.

Placing another god before Jehovah is the problem. That'd be putting something above Him. My boyfriend doesn't do that. Each deity is, once again, ruler of their own realm. Only the highest power in that realm.

What is the Biblical God's realm?

"I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty." - Revelation 1:8

"For by Him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by Him, and for Him: And He is before all things, and by Him all things consist." - Colossians 1:16-17

So by the Bible's statements - my God's rule is over everything and He is limitless.

Was my boyfriend stating that God wasn't the ruler of what He claims to rule over?

No!

So, why would my God have a problem with my boyfriend?

Because...

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments." - Exodus 20:3-6

My boyfriend joins me in my prayers. My boyfriend joins my kids in listening to Sabbath school lessons - and even has joined in to help explain concepts! My boyfriend openly admits each belief has its place - and I agree with that.

So... why would he be of the impression that my God doesn't like him?

The short answer is because of the same people that made me tell my mom that I didn't want to be a Christian anymore when I was 16 or 17. People who claim to be Christian, but behave quite unlovingly. I have always had a strong sense of justice and hypocritical behaviors push me into a lot of frustration!

I ended up telling my boyfriend a story from when I was only 6 or 7 years old (I was still really small as I could use a paper bag as a vest!). My mom was homeschooling us and we had a "class" on Native Americans. I love the native culture and have long had a fascination with different historical eras and how people lived and thought. Now, being as conservative as my family was, I know that my mom glossed over the multiple gods that traditionally are believed in. I do, however, remember hearing about the "Great Spirit" and making the mistake of asking one of my very conservative family members about it.

I was informed that it wasn't God. That it wasn't simply a different name for Him. And when I asked about all of the hundreds... thousands... of people who never had the chance to be taught about God and Jesus, well, the answer was simply that they would all be destined to die the final death when Jesus came back for us all.

That was such a traumatizing thought because God is our Father. He is to be the best Father ever. And you are telling me that my ultimate Father is okay with permanently ending His children who never even had a chance to know Him?! I was quite upset, but I was also silenced.

It was a pivotal moment for me. And for the sake of this specific conversation, I simplified it. If God is the creator of everything, then believing in any deity would (by default) be either worshipping God/light or the darkness (Satan, the devil, etc.).

My boyfriend stays away from dark things (religiously speaking). So, why would he not be worshipping my God too?

In fact, I had additional thoughts:

1. The Bible shares many names for my God, so why would it be so surprising that He could have other "identities"?
2. I believe that any thing placed above my God would be something that would make Him jealous: money, fame, power, etc. I mean, think about any relationship: I love you, but I'm more concerned about money than our relationship. Is that relationship going to last?
3. The god's that my God was angry with in most of the Old Testament asked for human life to be taken in their name or other downright horrific acts... I don't know a single person that I associate with who would be alright worshipping a deity that asks for babies to be slain... in fact, I'd be angry about that too - and I am not the One who makes Life!

It made my boyfriend uncomfortable, but we made it through it. I don't deny his expression, and he doesn't deny my beliefs. Both of us can be in harmony that as long as we follow the good/light and not the bad/dark paths, that we will be just fine.

My God loves my boyfriend. Just like a parent loves their children.

Even if my child is factually wrong, doesn't mean that they should be automatically punished. It merely means that they need taught better. Why would I believe in a deity that would not give me more grace (He is supposed to be the ultimate love!) than I would give my child?

I cannot process God's great majesty: His love, His creativity, His knowledge, His... being!

I can, however, process that He is good - not evil. And goodness isn't what I think of when faced with a thought that someone is going to murder others simply for using the wrong name... the wrong belief system... or the wrong words being used to explain themselves.

My God looks at the heart. I trust that He sees everyone's hidden secrets. And I also trust that my boyfriend has no interest in lying to me.

As far as I am concerned, my boyfriend and my God are just fine.

But, what are your thoughts (be respectful, of course!)? Do you believe that God demands us all use the same name? Do you believe that a God of love and light would be prone to committing mass murder? Do you believe that any single person can have every religious answer? And, of course, my favorite questions!!!: Why or why not? :-)