Unofficial challenge: Do Your Worst! (unbearable music recs)

Hello friends!

As a music lover, I must confess…. Some music just really, really, REALLY… sucks.

I know this is only subjective, but:

Some songs are practically torture for the ears— the way they worm in and fester and make you hate life.

If you want to skip my own list and jump right to the unofficial writing challenge simply scroll down towards the bottom of the page and keep an eye out for the section heading: “Do Your Worst!”

Ever heard of misophonia? That’s defined as a condition where someone feels an extreme (and maybe undue) hatred towards specific sounds.

Kinda like a sound itself is a pet peeve, but for severe misophones these sounds can trigger real anxiety, or even a fight or flight response.

Usually, misophones complain about innocuous things other people might not even notice; like: clicking pens, squeaky shoes, people chewing or swallowing, or crinkling sounds.

Now, admittedly, it’s pretty normal to find certain noises annoying in specific contexts. Getting irritated by intrusive noises when you’re trying to sleep or deep in thought, that’s not necessarily a case of misophonia. Neither is misophonia a response to startling, loud, or physically harmful sounds.

Misophonia implies a severe and disproportionately emotional response to specific noises regardless of context— when misophones hear the often innocuous noises that prompt their misophonia they get, for lack of a better term, fucking TRIGGERED.

(if you want more info about misophonia, here’s a write up from the American Medical Association: https://www.ama-assn.org/delivering-care/behavioral-health/what-doctors-wish-patients-knew-about-misophonia)

Now, I personally have a bit of minor misophonia…. I don’t get full blown anxiety, but I do feel my blood pressure go up, and I recognize that some specific noises make me irrationally angry.

Still I’m pretty good at not being rude when I hear these triggers, and that’s on account of a deliberate effort to stay respectful.

This is necessary for the sake of public decency because all of my triggers are wrapped up in certain qualities within peoples’ speaking or singing voices: vocal fry, high pitches, nasal voices, uptalk, prolonged vowels, and "whiny" tones all trigger my misophonia.

And I really don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings especially over something they can’t control, such as the sound of their voice, so while I’m going to complain about specific people’s voices in this article I want to make it very clear that this is a me problem not a them problem. I make no negative commentary on the following artists actual skills as singers and musicians. I make no commentary about their inherent worth as human persons or about their qualities as potentially good or kind people.

I’m literally only saying that the sounds of their voices fully irritate me. Hearing them triggers a disproportionately emotional revulsion that is largely undeserved.

It's not them, it’s me.

And, for that matter, I find my own voice very irritating at times (nasal, whiny, and white). So my misophonia is a bit hypocritical.

Still, that’s just how my ears feel.

Now without further ado:

The songs I really fucking hate (because these voices get on my last goddamn nerve):

1. All About that Bass by Meghan Trainor

I have literally never hated a song more than I hate this song. Her voice is practically torture to me. When I hear her sing I quite literally fantasize about driving nails into my ears. No I won't actually do it. But yes I do have these intrusive thoughts.

The peppy oompah rhythm puts me in an instant bad mood. Also, though I've tried very hard to never listen to it all the way through, I do have some objections to the lyrics. It sounds like it's trying to be "body positivity" but it still ends up denigrating "skinny bitches" and reducing women's value to what boys like: "a little more booty to hold at night."

Literally, just so much yuck. If I could thanos-snap this song out of existence I really would.

2. Fire and Rain by James Taylor

This is actually the very first song I ever hated. So it's kind of nostalgic for me. I remember hearing it in my grandpa's driveway, and thinking "Why is this fucking doofus bragging about seeing fire and rain? I've seen fucking fire and rain and I'm like only 9. Oooooh, you've seen fire and rain? Big deal motherfucker!"

I'm kinda paraphrasing, because back then I didn't think in swears. But that's the gist of what I was feeling. The more I heard this drivel the more my hatred deepened.

I also remember, around this time feeling a similar sense of childlike ridicule towards John Fogerty for asking "I wanna know: have you ever seen rain." Again, yes you dumb motherfucker of course I've seen rain. Woopity-fucking-doo!"

But I never grew to hate CCR's music, I think because Fogerty's voice never triggered me.

Now my big complaint is: Taylor's voice is waaay too fucking bland. Monotone delivery, no power, he sounds like a light breeze would knock him to the floor, and that he'd apologize to the wind. I guess what I'm really saying is he sounds like he's trying way to hard to be... soothing. I also detect a whininess and that prolonged vowel thing. It just doesn't work for me, his voice does the stark opposite of soothe.

When people hear that I'm an avid James Taylor hater, they assume I just hate the genre of soothing folk music.

Not so.

I actually really love Jim Croce and Simon and Garfunkle, because their voices don't enrage me the way James Taylor's does.

3. Last Christmas by Wham!

Remember when I said "All about that Bass" was my most hated song? I forgot about this one. Holy shit man, I really, really hate this song. First off, I think it's really rare for Christmas songs to not be super-duper annoying. The synth bells and the "Let's buy stuff!" sentiment really do bother the hell out of me-- not just in this song but in a bunch of poppy-christmas songs. I know I sound like a damn Grinch and a Scrooge, but seriously, that shit just sounds annoying.

For the record there are plenty of Christmas songs I truly enjoy. But for every one of those bangers I feel there are a good five to ten gift-wrapped, tinseled up pieces of auditory shit polluting our ear-holes.

It doesn't help that during certain times of year you hear that shit literally non-stop, anytime you leave your house.

Now, rant against christmas music aside, this one song is just... God, it's just so bad. The breathy, aspirate singing. The whiny "oh my heart is broken, woe is me" sentiment is also just not my jam. No thank you, George, please spare my ears.

Still, I probably wouldn't snap this out of existence. Much as I hate it, I feel like I know people who love this song and would probably feel its absence. I don't know anybody who feels that way about "All About that Bass."

4. Defying Gravity by Idina Menzel

BARF, dude. I wanna straight up and for real wanna seriously barf.

For the record I'm not one of those guys who just hates musicals, I think that's lame. Musicals can be awesome! I cried a bunch during Les Miserables, hell I even love Hamilton and the Phantom of the Opera.

But please, if you know me in real life do not EVER play this song in my presence. I loathe everything about her voice here-- if I had to describe it in one word I'd use the word shrill.

If I'm allowed more words, I'd perhaps add: excruciating. Or astringent. Because she does to my ears what pure lemon juice would do to my tongue.

Like my ears wish they could pucker and contract.

Like, her voice makes me suffer. Makes me think very dark thoughts about humanity and our role in the cosmos. Part of it has to do with her voice being so much like the rent: too damn high.

Though it's not just hitting highs that bothers me. There are plenty of high pitched voices that I utterly and completely adore: Anne Wilson, Ari Lennox, Freddie Mercury, Steve Perry, Ciara, Doechii, Marvin Gaye, Dio, Stephen Tyler, Chris Cornell, Skip James, I mean, fuck's sake this list barely scratches the surface. High voices can sound good when they've got any measure of power, soul, or richness. But the thing with each of these good awesome voices-- they don't go nasal or whiny when they go high.

Idina Menzel sounds like she's singing with her sinuses instead of her damn throat and every fiber of my being is repulsed by the noise.

The only other thing I can say to articulate my revulsion is: she just sounds way too white. I know that's probably not PC to say, but it's true to how I feel. Before you go thinking I hate white people or something, please bear in mind I myself am white and more than half of my loved ones are white.

That said.... whether it comes down to physiology or culture, white people can have a different sort of tone in their voices-- and me personally? I find that tone off-putting, to some degree. The more obvious that "white person" tone is, the more annoyed my ears become.

5. Twisted by Keith Sweat and Kut Klose

Ooof. Why is this dude singing like that? Is he putting on a voice or something or does he actually sound like a damn amphibian naturally? Really.

That vocal fry thing is not a good sound, and coupled with that whiny, pleading, petulent tone? Man what?

To be fair to Keith Sweat, this is the song I hate least off the list I provided.

And for what it's worth, it was a tough call placing this song fifth. I could have easily posted Supertramp, Regina Spektor, Boy George, Barbara Streisand, Taylor Swift, Spanky and Her Gang, or 21 pilots in the spot of my fifth most hated vocal performance.

But the reason I hate this song so much isn't even because of Keith Sweat sounding like a toad trying to ribbit with a frog in its throat….

Well, actually, that is the reason. But there's some context. I am extremely bothered by the painful and unfair contrast between that dude's crap-ass singing and Kut Klose showcasing such great and fine voices.

It just doesn't sound right! The female vocalists are too good to be on a track with this guy.

For the record I'm not saying I could do better-- than Sweat or any of the other singers I'm roasting on this list. My singing isn't anything to boast of.

...

But atleast, I have the good sense not to subject hundreds of thousands of people to my crooning!

Whatever, art is worthwhile even if I don't personally like it. These singers have countless fans and admirers who appreciate their work at depth! And even if they didn't have the affirmation of fame, I'd still be impressed by them for creating something and putting their hearts into the toil.

As a show of good faith, I'm gonna share one bonus song that I actually like from an artist I generally can't stand.

Bonus. Let It Go by Idina Menzel

To be totally upfront, I still find her voice annoying, especially at the crescendo. But the parts where she's singing in a lower register are tolerable, and the tune is alright.

I know that's by no means a glowing endorsement, but let me add one more thing: my daughter loves this song.

Like really loves it. And I love seeing her happy, so I like this song.

And that gets back to what I'm really trying to say. I have to admit that art-- and especially music-- can be really cool even when I think it kinda blows ass.

So that’s my list of songs I hate, with some insights into why I hate each song. I’d love/hate to read and listen to your own terrible song recs. If you want to participate in this unofficial challenge….

Do Your Worst!

I’m looking for recs, of the very worst songs you know! Play me something that will make me suffer, play me something you yourself hate. I’m looking for the kind of music that will ruin my day, or perhaps even my week.

To that end, I will be awarding (2) five dollar tips, at the conclusion of this contest.

(1) five dollar tip will be awarded to the author who helps me discover music I most profoundly wish did not exist. In other words, whoever recommends a song I’ve never heard and which I most intensely regret finally hearing, will receive 5 dollars!

(1) five dollar tip will be awarded to whoever submits the “best” writing. I don’t have specific details or expectations as to what will make anyone’s writing stand out in this category, but just know that I appreciate masterful use of language, and will want to award anyone who can write beautifully about ugly music. Use comedy, scathing critique, or emotional depth and sincerity— or what ever you feel comfortable with to help set your writing apart.

(Bonus awards)

Each person who enters this contest receives one free ticket for UNFILTERED feedback from me! Feedback will be about any one story or poem of your choosing (500 word limit! Aim for a two minute read), that you’ve written and posted on Vocal Media! Be advised, feedback will be honest gut reactions and may include constructive criticsm! Nobody will receive feedback unless they ask for it. (See details below). And you do not have to ask for feedback in order to participate in the contest or in order to be eligible to win the money! If you are uncomfortable with the idea of feedback from a stranger, there’s no pressure at all to claim this bonus award :)

Here’s the rules for participation:

1. Absolutely no AI! No AI writing, no AI music, and no AI generated images in the text of your story. Although on the surface this contest appears to be kinda shitting on human art, the whole intention is to use our art to respond to other art. I won’t be policing your use of AI, wouldn’t know where to begin. So please, stick to the honor system here!

2. Your playlist must be exactly 5 songs long.

3. Songs must be youtube videos, hyperlinked, in your write up so that I can listen to them without navigating away from your story.

4. You must include some rationale, as to why you think these songs belong on a list of music that sucks. (Your rationale does not have to be rational, your reasons are not required to be reasonable. But they must be articulated.)

5. Maximum word count is 1,000 words. I'd prefer you shoot for a general word count of around 700 or less. But these aren't hard limits. Just know, that the farther you go past the word count goals, the less likely you'll be to win a 5 dollar tip for the writing itself.

6. You must include 1 bonus song that you actually like from any one of the artists you’re criticizing in your playlist. This will not count towards the five song rule, and you do not need to include reasons for liking it unless you want to. It’s just to show that these playlists are not intended to be mean spirited and to remind us that the people who make art we find repulsive can still be capable of creating things of beauty.

7. Only one entry per person, so make it a good one!

How to submit your playlist:

1. To participate you must submit your playlist to the “Beat” community. At the bottom of your playlist, please be sure to mention and link this unofficial challenge announcement! This will clarify your intention of participating in the contest.

2. Once your playlist is live comment on THIS challenge, to let me know— be sure to drop a link so I can find it! If you do not drop a link on this page, I will not know that your playlist exists.

3. You must submit your entry before midnight on September 29th, 2025, Eastern Standard Time. After the contest closes, I will need time to listen to the playlist and read your words. Winners will be announced via a new post from me on November 15th, or sooner if there aren’t many entries.

4. To be eligible to receive tip awards, you must have a stripe account linked to your vocal profile. Tips will ONLY be sent to stripe accounts. If you are declared the winner but lack a stripe account at the time when the winners are announced you will forfeit your tip and it will go back into the pot for future contests.

5. To be eligible to receive the bonus award of unfiltered feedback you must link the story or poem (500 word limit) that you’d like me to read and make it crystal clear that you’re willing to receive honest and potentially critical feedback! Include this link in the comment section of this challenge! Participation in this bonus award does NOT impact your eligibility to win the prize money, so don’t participate in this part unless you truly want to!