satire
Pet parodies to help us hash out our pet peeves.
Omar's Diary for April 2022
Man Servant's Birthday This was celebrated with a quiet day. After all, to express it in colloquial terms, he is "knocking on a bit" at 68. I do share his birthday but I am pleased to say that I do not match his years. In fact I don't know anyone who does in our immediate social circle.
By Alan Russell4 years ago in Petlife
Climb to the Feast
As he gazed up onto the waterfall of cascading fabric he knew what he had to do. Preparing the muscles within his legs, he braced himself for the anticipation of making himself airborne, only to grip the surface that of which was his first challenge.
By Thavien Yliaster4 years ago in Petlife
Very costume. So Dogecoin. Much Sheba. Such adorbs. Wow.
Yes, okay, it’s me, Aiko Kitsune, all dressed up as a Dogecoin token. And yes, it’s embarrassing. My humans are normally so nice, so chill – and then this. I blame it on Elon Musk. It was bad enough his tweeting about Dogecoin going to the moon, but then he shows up on Saturday Night Live last May talking about it. I watched that episode with my humans. I think that’s what got the wheels turning.
By Jules Daven4 years ago in Petlife
The Ballad of Chuck and Roxanne: A Viking Tail
This little epic poem was inspired by the shenanigans of Charlie (the cat) and Roxi (the dog). These two are notorious beggars when it comes to food and Charlie especially is a bottomless pit, a black hole that devours everything in reach when the fancy strikes him. Roxi has always been an unwitting accomplice to Charlie’s wiles, but she certainly has her own sassy means of getting her way in the kitchen.
By Sara Little4 years ago in Petlife
Ten Things I Hate About You
Dear Mr. Sanderz, Do you want to know why I call you Mr. Sanderz? That was the name written over Winne the Pooh's door. My use is ironic. You're like Pooh would have been if he was a mogwai and someone fed him honey after midnight and he turned into a Gremlin. You have claws, sharp teeth and a bad attitude.
By Liz Sinclair4 years ago in Petlife
A Pittbull's Journal
June 3rd: Mom has been working from home for 4 months now. It’s great because I can sleep in or lay beside her on wherever she is, she gives us treats throughout the day, and I can go outside whenever I want. This last thing drives Mom crazy because I learned some new tricks from Tatiana.
By Caitlin Gonya4 years ago in Petlife
A Lovable Terrorist
"HOLD IT! HOLD IT! HOLD IT!" I frantically carried my tiny, white puppy with outstretched arms. I ran with her up the stairs, through the house, out the door, down the stairs, and to the grass. I promptly released her and backed away like she was a bomb about to go off. She lifted her tail straight up, and with a shockingly accurate recreation of the Bellagio Fountain, produced a jet of pure liquid poo. "Phew! Made it." I sagged against the railing.
By Gingerella 4 years ago in Petlife
A Memo to My Dog, Who is Kind of a Slacker. First Place in EmPAWyee of the Month Challenge.
TO: Nurmal "Buddy" Conaway RE: Your Job Performance Dear Nurmal, It has come to management's attention that your work performance has become sub-par since your last review, and I would like to address these issues in order to better maximize your full potential and ensure a successful future with the company.
By Jessica Conaway4 years ago in Petlife
