The Forgetfulness of Forgiveness
Letting Go of the Past for Body and Mind Liberation
The Freedom of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is some of the most powerful healing work we do. But that does not mean we condone the behavior of the offending party or that we simply forgive and forget — forgetting is often impossible. You are training new data until October 2023.
The Nature of Forgiveness: How It Heals the Heart and Mind, and Why It Is Important for Mental Well-Being Forgiveness can be an important part of the journey toward self-care and healing.
What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the decision to release the feelings of grudges, anger or vengeance we hold against another person who has hurt us. That doesn’t mean endorsing or excusing the act or the harm done. But it is to free us from the negative emotions that bind us to the past.”
We can forgive others and we can forgive ourselves. Self-forgiveness is equally important; we all have guilt, shame or regret over our own actions or mistakes. We need forgiveness in both directions to be whole.
Here are some aspects of forgiveness:
Liberating us from bitterness: Letting go resentment, bitterness, or hatred that holds us emotionally connected to our traumas.
Letting go of our anger at others for what they did, since it harms us more than anyone else if we hold on to it.
Forgiveness Heals the Heart Forgiveness heals the heart.
Restoration of peace: Inner peace is having forgiveness and creating the space for healing in your life.
Why Forgiveness is Important for Healing
That’s why we all need to forgive. Similarly, anger and resentment that have not healed in us can no longer in and of themselves inhibit our capacity for forgiveness and moving on.
Here are some of the reasons forgiveness is so important to the healing process:
Clearing the emotional baggage: Resentment and anger are the heavy weights we carry. When we understand, we can forgive, so kindness, understanding and forgiveness all help to release negative energy and warms us up to peace and joy.
Restores Inner Peace: Forgiveness gives us back the power of our own emotional responses. We stopped allowing what others do to determine whether we are going to be peaceful. Instead, we regain our power and choose how to react with love and empathy.
It is time for the last time. Thus, Not forgiving has direct impact on our physical health. Chronic anger, bitterness and resentment have been shown in research to translate into stress, high blood pressure and even cardiovascular disease. Forgiving others and ourselves reduces stress and has positive effects on our physical health.
Set Free by the Force of Forgiveness: Forgiveness creates disconnect with our spiritual baggage, resonates with higher spirit of love and compassion, and brings us nearer to our super self. It is a spiritually humbling thing to do, and it may open up space for deeper healing, deeper connection.
The Two Types of Forgiveness
Forgiveness has two types: forgiving others and forgiving ourselves. They reinforce each other for emotional and spiritual restoration.
Forgiving Others
Forgiving Others is the Most Difficult Part of Forgiveness It’s easy to feel justified in holding onto anger or resentment because letting go means we allow the other person to “get away with” what they did. But that is a misreading. To forgive someone is not about them — it’s about letting go of poisonous feelings that can tie us to a past we can’t alter.
Self-Forgiveness
Self-forgiveness means releasing guilt, shame or regret about past mistakes or perceived wrongdoings. We do tend to be extremely tough on ourselves and not let go easily of what we do. Self-decisions are important to emotional healing because they allow us to release our history of damage or offense to ourselves rather than wound us in the future.
Forgiveness: A Process (Step by Step)
Forgiving is a process — a continuum, not an event — and it may require time, patience and work.
Here are 7 steps that guide you in forgiving yourself and others.
Acknowledge your feelings. The first step of forgiving is to identify your hurt and pain. Do not dismiss your anger, resentment and betrayal; your feelings are legitimate, and you need to allow those feelings to heal. Don’t shy away from the emotions; it’s how you’ll feel better and move forward.”
Reflect on the impact. Reflect on your life and imagine what this situation or person has done for you. What have they done or said, that has caused you emotional, mental, or even physical pain? This step will help you understand how the damage to your healing process.
Decide to forgive. Forgiving is a choice. It may not be easy but it is a choice to be freed from what is holding you back. Forgiving is taking charge of your life and don’t hold hostage the emotion of the past.
Let go of the resentment. Easier said than done, but if we hold onto the resentment it only serves to hurt us more. It leaves us playing the past and too bonded to the experience of the person. Just picture it for yourself, as if you are holding it for yourselves not for others.
Understand and reframe. See the big picture. That we try to see why this person did what they did, in pain, fear, or even traumatized? This will also help you release judgment and the person in a gentle way.
Offer compassion and empathy. Empathy is an essential ingredient in healing. Release that anger and pair the emotion with understanding and empathy. Do the same with yourself as well.
Heal and move on. If you forgive-if you or someone else forgives you- it is time to heal. Healing is about your emotional conditioning and intentions are what you set to release the past and to heal. Focus on the present and how you want your life to be.
The Nature of Forgiveness in Religion and Spirituality
Many of the spiritual and religious systems that are popular in the world today stress the importance of forgiving others and offer wisdom on what it takes to truly forgive others and heal ourselves.
In Islam
Islam is all about forgiveness. The Most Merciful and The Most Forgiving Allah (GOD) Amongst all, Allah (SWA) Himself pledges to forgive even the gravest of sins as long as they are capable of being forgiven, allowing Muslims to follow this divine trait by forgiving other humans. In the Quran, Allah says:
“And those who avoid the greater sins and immoralities, and when they are angry, they forgive.” — [Quran 42:37]
Granting others readily forgiveness has a very elevated status in Islam.
In Christianity
Christianity has a lot to say about forgiveness, too. In addition, Jesus instructed his disciples to forgive seventy times seven (i.e., indefinitely from the previous passage) (Matt 18: 21-22). In the Christian Lord’s Prayer, we beseech, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,” which suggests forgiveness is a gift of grace and an avenue for spiritual liberation.
In Buddhism
Buddhism teaches that to release suffering one must practice forgiveness. As long as we are holding on to anger and resentment, as long we are clinging to suffering, the Buddha said, we are trapped in samsara (the cycle of suffering). Buddhists recognize that we are one and wish for peace and healing through metta (loving-kindness), which is an engendering of compassion and forgiveness.
The effect of forgiveness is freedom
Forgiveness can be a form of liberation. It releases us from the vice that former is griping us and allows the healing and the spiritual growth. Forgiveness pulls us out from the dark pit of indignation, rancor, and guilt to the sunshine of peace, love, and acceptance.
Hence forgiveness is a journey toward freedom — freedom which comes from being no longer bound by the past; freedom to be fully alive in the present and to live life to the full in the future. When you forgive others and yourself, you invite emotional and spiritual healing and surrender guilt and resentment for a lifetime of grace, compassion and peace.
Forgiveness and Health
A study by Witvliet et al. Dabo et al. (2001) discovered that forgiveness practice reduces physiological stress indicators, including heart rate and blood pressure. This emphasizes the mind spirit relationship, and the belief that emotional resolution causes physical wellness.
Forgiveness and Spirituality
Indeed, in the Quran (14:7) thankfulness is fused with pardon: In Islam, Allah is often associated with mercy which is, in turn, associated with forgiveness, an important aspect of spiritual and emotional healing.
Quran 14:7:
“If you are thankful, Most definitely will increase your bounty upon you
Healing Through Forgiveness—the Strength of Moving on
According to Toussaint and Williams (2008), forgiveness has therapeutic effects that lead to decreased depression, anxiety, and enhanced emotional well-being. Forgiveness is for your peace and your healing, to make a space for yourself to not be bogged down by the negativity of past wrongs.
Forgiveness as Liberation
Already we know forgiveness can act as liberation. It liberates us from the hold past hurts have over us and creates space for healing and spiritual advancement. Forgiveness lifts us from the nasty hole of wrath, poison, and thrift into the light of calm, compassion, and patience.
Forgiveness is a path to freedom — the freedom of no longer being chained to the past, the freedom to live life in all its fullness in the present and future. Forgiving others and forgiving yourself unlocks the doorway to emotional and spiritual healing — allowing guilt and resentment to evaporate for a lifetime of grace, compassion and peace.
Reference
Witvliet, C. V., Ludwig, T. E., & VanderLaan, K. L. (2001).Granting forgiveness or harboring grudges: Implications for emotion, physiology, and health. Psychological Science, 12(2), 117–123. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-9280.00321
Toussaint, L., & Williams, D. R. (2008).Forgiveness and health: An overview of research and clinical practice. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 27(8), 829–849. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2008.27.8.829
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