ComicRelief
THE LEFT-HANDED PENCIL CONSPIRACY
If you listen closely in classrooms, construction sites, cubicles, and break rooms across America, you’ll hear it. A faint, weary sigh. A sigh belonging to the forgotten, the ignored, the graphite-smudged minority known as… left-handed people.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
WHY DOES IT COST $100 FOR A PIZZA POCKET AND A TOILET BRUSH?
Economists, psychologists, and at least three very confused cashiers have confirmed a groundbreaking discovery. You cannot, under ANY circumstance, walk into a store for one item… and walk out with only that one item.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
⭐ THE NIGHTMARE OF COUNTING STICKS
When I was seven, I started first grade. Back then the world hadn’t gone completely mad yet, and no one expected children to enter school already knowing how to read, write, or add. Don’t get me wrong — I knew a few things; my brother and I grew up in a family of teachers. But no one demanded superpowers from six-year-olds. In those days, we went to school to learn, not to be called “young scholars” from day one.
By Erian Lin Grant2 months ago in Humor
The “Five-Second Rule” Is Scientifically Valid!
In a stunning revelation that has shocked scientists, parents, and snack enthusiasts alike, researchers at the Institute of Selective Germ Theory have officially confirmed that the “Five-Second Rule” is, in fact, scientifically valid. Provided that one counts extremely quickly and maintains unwavering confidence while doing so.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
THE INNER MONOLOGUE OLYMPICS: Overthinking Events You Haven’t Even Attended Yet
In a stunning display of psychological endurance, humanity has collectively entered what experts are calling The Inner Monologue Olympics. A high-stakes mental tournament where every competitor is both the athlete and their own worst critic.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
THE WONDERS OF PET OWNERSHIP (AND OTHER LIES WE TELL OURSELVES)
POMP BAY, USA - For centuries, humankind has proudly proclaimed itself the master of the animal kingdom. We have domesticated wolves, tamed jungle cats, and invited birds to share our homes in exchange for a few crackers and the occasional unsolicited scream.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
LIVE AT 6: HALLOWEEN CHAOS SWEEPS THE NATION
POMP BAY, USA — 7:03 P.M. Another live, holiday report from your trusted name in news, The Pompous Post! The streets are alive tonight dear viewers, as costumed civilians flood the suburbs in what officials are calling “an organized candy extraction operation, with light property damage.” Visibility remains low due to fog machines, vape clouds, and that one guy who burned twenty pumpkin-scented incense sticks at the antique store.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
DINNER WEATHER: A Dense Fog of Apathy Has Settled Over the Region
[POMP BAY, USA] - A thick, flavorless fog of apathy has stalled over kitchens across the nation, leaving millions stranded in what experts are calling “an unprecedented supper standoff.” Expected to linger until someone other than your wife figures out what’s for supper.
By The Pompous Post3 months ago in Humor
🪦 OBITUARY: “The One Houseplant You Overwatered Has Tragically Drowned.”
There are moments in life that test the strength of the human soul. A flat tire. A Wi-Fi outage. A Monday morning. And then… there is this... At precisely 2:47 p.m. on a sunny Tuesday, tragedy struck in Apartment 3B when Fiddleleaf Figgy Smalls, a once-vibrant houseplant of questionable resilience, was found slumped over in its pot. Waterlogged, leaf-limp, and spiritually soggy.
By The Pompous Post3 months ago in Humor
My Huge Dislike of Euphemisms . Content Warning.
Everyone's favorite, or rather, hated social media platform YouTube turned 20 this year. My 17-year-old self thought it was the best thing that was ever invented. Fast forward to 2025, I've come to the conclusion that it has gotten worse over time. Why? It's because these YouTubers are interested in coddling their audiences rather than providing us with honest, factual information. One thing that I dislike about YouTubers is them using euphemisms of words that are harmless for the most part. The late, great George Carlin discussed this on his 1990 comedy album, Parental Advisory. He explained that euphemisms hid the truth, which he had a huge dislike of. There are some terms that were highly offensive and the language needed to change, such as terms that describe people with disabilities. I can accept some language that is here to stay. In my opinion, YouTubers and regular people using euphemisms makes me want to throw up. We're literally babying a generation in order for them to get more views and subscribers/followers. Where feelings are more important than keeping it real to everyone. They're afraid if they used direct language in their videos, their videos would be demonetized, which I've always found both laughable and ridiculous. I've heard that lame excuse countless times. Basically, they have to walk on eggshells, so they don't "trigger" their audiences. I'll share a few examples of terms that many people have been using online that makes me cringe.
By Mark Wesley Pritchard 3 months ago in Humor
