Meme-ing Is A Long Lesson in Humility

⚡ Hey there! 👋😁

It's me again: __Lightning Bolt⚡!

I'm back with yet another hilarious edition of Meme-ing Madness!

I'm Awesome!

I'm Brilliant!!

I'm a Comedic Genius!!!

But you know that...right?

Those☝ proclamations needed to be stated because, proceeding forward with this episode, I will refrain from being "arrogant" (observant).

I intend to be humble.

And I'm told I need to be.

During my last edition of Meme-ing Madness, I did a lot of bragging about how I won a challenge. My challenge submission was so incredible that I...

...er...

I mean to say...

I am surprised and honored to have won for my Instructions for Disappearing, for my brilliant... epic... um... masterpiece dribble entitled: It Happens Incrementally.

My poem may be an award winner, it's true, but I wouldn't read it if I were you. It's not funny at all.

Seriously.

With effort, I can be serious.

I'm not a one-trick pony.

So the last time I gave you the gift of jocularity was when I published this👇...

Some people thought that👆was obnoxious.

Even my regular readers told me I went too far. And they're used to me being pompous.

I really don't see the problem 😒, since I had every right to brag about my poem being so fucking fantastic that it...

...oh...

...um...

...what I mean to say is...

My readers were right. I didn't need to boast so much.

One person even said my Ego is bigger than Trump's!!

Whether that's true or not— it really hurt my feelings.

Big Time.

__W A R N I N G__

I do have feelings.

Who woulda thunk it?

🤷

ALSO: all the standard WARNINGS apply, especially the caution about developing a crush on me. What follows is a link that will provide a more detailed explanation. For your own physical, mental, and spiritual safety, you should understand the risks of reading my ludicrousness.

SO READ BEFORE PROCEEDING 👇

ALSO

____PLEASE BE AWARE___

Humility is a totally new experience for me!

I seriously don't know what could happen when I attempt this!

It may have strange affects my cats (which, I realize, is not totally your fault). This experiment could raise or lower your opinion of me—🤷. It could have consequences for national security.

What will this tribulation turn me into?

Another Shakespeare?

⚡😎👍

Another Stephanie Meyer?

😨🤢🤮🤮

🤮🤮🤮🤮

I'm taking a big risk here.

Hell, this could be my unwitting suicide note; all the effort to keep my charisma bottled up could ultimately cause me to explode🎇 ! My imagination is so incredible, I can see my flesh and blood splattering onto my keyboard, a level of gory so vivid that...

...er... I mean...

And it would serve me right if I did explode.

😞

We'll see how it goes.

⚡______ ⚡

This time, I'm doing a baker's dozen of memes.

Yeah, I know.

It's too few.

But you'll survive.

⚡______ ⚡

TRIVIA: Baker is the little known 13th sign of the Zodiac.

⚡______ ⚡

And now, without further ado, here is what you came for— (me) — memes!

Meme #1, with nothing added from me that matters

My marijuana consumption has to nothing do with anything!

I'm only stoned because I'm buzzed.

Join me, won't you?

⚡______ ⚡

Meme #2 has nothing funny added from me

Guys these days aren't sophisticated, IMO.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think the proper way to accept a proposal is by saying, "I will!"

But this guy did seem really enthusiastic as he accepted saying, "Yes! Yes! YES!

"YEEEESSSSSS!!!!"

⚡______ ⚡

Meme #3 is brought humbly to you (— this is already getting old)

All the pie charts I find on the Internet are too simplistic.

It's aggravating.

Yes, I do those two things👆 but there also need to be slices on my chart for 'imagining fucking the speaker' and 'thinking about how to write this loudmouth into a story where their tongue is cut out before they're murdered'.

I'm complicated.

⚡______ ⚡

Meme #4 is so funny you'll split your side laughing, okay?

She was going to propose to me first, but all the stalls were occupied.

⚡______ ⚡

Meme # 5 is a Reality Check because I always do stupendous hard-hitting political satire that make people THINK

Look on the bright side: dead people help Make America Healthier Again.

Of course, ketchup will always be safe.

It's now guarded by both the CIA and the Secret Service.

They are even planning to build a Golden Ketchup Kitchen at the White House.

Heinz did something or other to piss the orange autocrat off.

🤷

⚡______ ⚡

You aren't laughing.

Was that too political?

I think you need to be more relaxed.

I'm not a doctor, but I have a stellar bedside manner.

In fact, you might want to do some of the magic mushrooms going around this year.

They first showed up at the 'party' where everyone was mourning Diddy's loss in court.

Since then, even more people have said you should {NOT} try them.

Would you like to upload you some L.S.Memes?

FUCK YOU, DON'T SIGN!!!

YOU'RE ALWAYS SUCH A BUZZKILL!

I ain't even going to fight with you this time!

How dare you tell my readers what drugs they can or DON'T do!

Cannabis is 'compromise', DON'T sign.

Not that your black-&-white view of the world allows for such a thing!

But... truth be told...

🤭

The schrooms might have been bad anyway.

Weed, on the other hand, has no expiration date.

⚡😎👍

⚡______ ⚡

WE PAUSE FOR A QUICK PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

It can make even the most prudish stories more salty.

⚡______ ⚡

Meme #6 is the meme where I need to avoid blustering about how sexy I am

This is my new excuse forevermore.

🎼🎵 "If the Man in the Sky gets horny, 🌬why oh why can't I?" 🎶

⚡______ ⚡

Meme #7 is brought to you from an Everyman from the Ministry of Untruth

Do the Big Brother watusi!

And if you prefer to slow dance... 👇😁⚡

Someone's Watching Over Me

⚡______ ⚡

Meme #8 is an accurate description of my avowed purpose in life a contrite confession

He who memes should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long at these memes, the abyss will also gaze into thee.

Reality is a meximelt that is taken off the menu for fickle reasons... only to return years later—, better, tastier, stronger— only to be taken off the menu yet again.

Think about it.

⚡______ ⚡

Meme #9 is Sweet Goodness like me

Thanks for the offer but no thanks.

I'm a top.

I'll take a dozen of the ring donuts, though, no frosting. 🍩 I got that covered.

⚡😁👍

⚡______ ⚡

Meme #10 is a sad reminder that I'm not using my full potential here because of these shackles.

This why I never graduated college.

A higher education is expensive.

⚡______ ⚡

Meme #11 makes me wonder what ever happened to Jen 🥹

Unfortunately, it didn't turn out the way I hoped.

Jen went a different way.

I should have clued in by her bracelet that she'd have no interest in me.

⚡______ ⚡

Meme #12 is the God's Honest Truth (I say this all the time)

I used to roll dice, or check my zodiac, or read Tarot cards. I would think and overthink and consider every option before I made decisions.

It wasn't worth it.

"Fuck it" can sometimes lead to disastrous results, true.

But it's a time-saver.

It's also liberating (albeit potentially dangerous.)

Other often-used phrases rolling off my tongue before I make decisions...

"Fuck the dumb shit!"

"Who gives a fuck?"

and the ever popular:

"Does it even fucking matter?" <- highly recommended for nihilists.

Right before I'm forced to make a sensible decision, you'll generally hear me say,

"Fuck me to tears!"

or

"This fucking shit again?!?"

⚡______ ⚡

We Pause Momentarily for These Enlightening Words From the Author

⚡______ ⚡

Comedy is hard. 🫤

Have I mentioned that?

Here on Vocal, there are 35,437 people who have written for the Education Community.

There are 36, 855 creators of Fiction.

And there are 45, 523 Poets.

In the Humor Community, as it stands at the time I'm writing this, there are only 1,418 authors!!!

That right there👆 shows how hard it is to produce comicality!

Need still more evidence how difficult it is to be a genius?

There are currently 214,601 stories published in Poets.

214,601!!

Humor has only 3,048 stories (and many of them are mine.)

So help a comedian out, okay? (Not that I actually need your help, truth be told. I have a direct line to Cosmic Hilarity which makes me hysterical Beyond Belief and... I... um...)

Show me what you got! (Not that I care.)

I care.

This is our...

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION MEME!!!

You can jump into the comments below to contribute if you are funny enough! {But you'll find I've already made a well-balanced meal.}

Fried Green Tomatoes.

Oh wait...

🤔

That one was already edible.

🤔

The Hunger Games.

Could that👆be right?

🤷

This is harder than it looks. 🤨

What about...

The Grapes of Wrath.

No, no, no. 🙄

Get your shit together, __Bolt⚡!

🤔

🤔

🤔

⚡💡⚡

⚡😁👍

I got it!

The Ketchup in the Rye Bread.

(That's a decent start!)

⚡______ ⚡

Brave New Worcestershire.

⚡______ ⚡

Steak Expectations.

Now I'm getting hungry! 🤤

⚡______ ⚡

$19.84 (Gratuity not included.)

~~ "Big Brother is Sautéing You."

⚡______ ⚡

Frankenfurterstein.

⚡______ ⚡

Frankenfurterstein Meets the Ice Cream Man

⚡______ ⚡

War and Pizza

⚡______ ⚡

The Sound and the Curry

⚡______ ⚡

A Message from an Indian Restaurant

⚡______ ⚡

The Country Fries of Monte Crisco

⚡______ ⚡

The Cake Also Rises

⚡______ ⚡

Gone Being Slim

~~"Frankly, my dear, I love breakfast ham."

⚡______ ⚡

Charlotte's Bread

⚡______ ⚡

Slaughter House- Don't Think About it and Just Eat

⚡______ ⚡

A Clockwork Orange Sherbet Sundae

⚡______ ⚡

The French Lieutenant's Bagel

⚡______ ⚡

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Breaded Chicken Breast

⚡______ ⚡

And the most obvious, of course, is...

The Prime Rib of Miss Jean Brodie.

⚡______ ⚡

That was just hysterical, right?

I mean... come on! The Prime Rib of Miss Jean Brodie?!?

😆🤣😂😂🤣🤣

I crack myself up!

Like, who else on Vocal can make you hungry, literary, and amused all at the same time!???

Fuck humility.

That gig isn't for me.

It puts entirely too much strain on my Ego.

And I'm better than this.

Clearly.

So I'll return next time in all my wondrous hilarious grandiose glory!

Until then...

⚡👋😁

________________Bolt⚡

🚫_____DISCLAIMER_____ 🚫

I stole these memes off Facebook. Many of you, my faithful readers, are my friends on Facebook. That means some of the memes could have been stolen from you. 🫵 You could sue me, but that would be a serious waste of time and money. I'm too broke for you to get any recompense and you'll still end paying for your lawyer.

Just Saying.

The memes aren't aren't that funny anyway. I'm the Star Attraction here. Remember: Comedy is Hard.

Don't Try This At Home.

Thank you for your Readership.

Have a Happy Day.

Do Drugs. ⚡😶‍🌫👇