humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
“Night, night, don’t let the bed bugs bite”
That’s what that evil witch who called herself “grandma” would said every time after she read her bedtime story to me kissing my forehead. “night, night, don’t let the bed bugs bite.” She would say with her evil witch voice...
By CJ Electra5 years ago in Humans
The Lemon Dress
My mother will tell you I always had my own taste in fashion. I would wear dance costumes to the library. I would wear plaid vests with mixed print clothes, tights, and sneakers. She always let me dress myself and never tried to stop me. There were one or two times in my teen years where she drew the line and said 'no,' and looking back on it, it was for the best and I am grateful for it. My mother and father have beautiful, classic, timeless taste. As I got older, I learned to adhere to a lot of those classic rules: white shoes belong on brides and babies, your shoes should be darker than your legs, look at yourself before you leave in your outfit and take off one accessory, and it never hurts to look your best. No, they did not invent those rules, but they are great rules to live by.
By Tinka Boudit She/Her5 years ago in Humans
Adventures of The Rubber Lady
I picked up this old steamer trunk at a thrift store in about 1985, I think I paid about $15. for it. I was intrigued because it was locked, with no key. I had to ask myself, what kind of treasures are locked inside? I tried and tried to gently pick the lock, so as to not damage it. I finally lost all patience and pried the lock open. Although slightly bent, it was intact and could still latch and lock. A screwdriver became it's forever key. So, you ask, what was inside? Nothing, that it didn't originally come with. It had specially made hangers and drawers. The hangers sat on metal rods inside the trunk. One of the rods had an extension that slid out, so you could hang clothing on it, when open. It was very well crafted and something to behold. I had no idea, at that time, just how it would become so much a part of my story.
By L.A. Cummins5 years ago in Humans
Why are One Way signs on the highway a thing?
No, seriously... if there are people out there that need a One Way sign on the on-ramp to a highway, we are officially doomed as a society. And I'm not talking about a Wrong Way sign. I get it, sometimes it's dark, your significant other is bickering at you for not following (her) their directions and you need that bright red Wrong Way to keep you on the right side of the road. But for the love of god, if there has ever come a point in your life where you are trying to merge onto a highway and are unsure about which way to drive UNTIL you see a sign pointing you in the proper direction, please get your license revoked.
By Michael Martinek5 years ago in Humans
How the Tooth Fairy Failed me.
In 2000, my tooth had been so loose but refused to come out. It was driving my entire family nuts watching me play with it with my tongue. My grandma offered me candy if I allowed them to take it out, I refused. My mother offered to take me to the gas station for treats, I refused. My aunt would allow me to stay with my baby cousin, Jayla, for the whole weekend. Nope. I enjoyed playing with it too much. Finally, it was pushed so far out that my mother overruled my decision. She tied a string from an old shirt to my tooth, tied it to a door, and snatched it out. (Don't worry, I didn't feel a thing. Please don't accuse my mother of abuse!) I was happy! The tooth fairy would be paying me a visit. I kept my tooth in my pocket, placed it underneath my pillow once I got home, and slept through the night.
By Sierra Ginae.5 years ago in Humans
Girls Bathroom Club
I’d say hear me about but you currently have to in order to judge this piece. It is a meme, it is the truth but drunk girls in the bathroom are how women should be to each other all the time. Supportive, helpful, loving (I think you get the gist). To be honest I am the least empathetic person in the world, however, place me drunk in the girls bathroom and I become a motivational speaker on the level of Opera (just no free cars but rather free gum). Drunk girls in the bathroom is the utopia of a world where men don’t exist. Please do not get me wrong I don’t hate men, this is not a slandering of the male race but rather a reforming of the place.
By Kirstie Dinning5 years ago in Humans
Interview at the Zoo
One of the most universal situations people feel compelled to fit in is during a job interview. You’re basically auditioning in front of strangers for a position in a company. In this particular instance, I’d landed two interviews back to back and was extremely excited and confident in my abilities. I went in anticipating the usual routine, but I can assure you that is not what I encountered.
By Jae-lin Mitchell5 years ago in Humans
Quite The Let Down
“Alright Bub, time to get this party started!” Four months postpartum, engorged, and barely able to function in society due to an exhaustion unlike anything I had previously known, I popped Addy on my hip and headed up the steep gravel driveway. Beyond the house I could hear an uproar of partygoers having a wonderful time and started to feel anxious about diving back into such a rowdy social setting. It was Memorial Day, but that wasn’t the only cause for celebration, it was also a friends’ son’s tenth birthday. As I walked into the back yard of a house I had never visited before I noticed the bounce house – an indication that I was, in fact, at the right place – and I started off on a quest to find a familiar face.
By Sarah E Bussey5 years ago in Humans
