humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
I couldn't be a vampire
Okay, fuck it, hear me out here. I'm nocturnal. The perks of having a video game addiction and working a job where hours are all over the place, but mainly skewed towards the evening. As much of a night owl as I can be - and hell, I've pushed the barriers of messing with circadian rhythms further than I would have liked over time - I couldn't be a vampire. A night bat if you will.
By CJ Francis4 years ago in Humans
My First Time in the Navy
Every good Sea Story starts with this is a no-shitter, and this one is one of those. In Nineteen Seventy-Nine, I was a Nuke Power student. When I graduated from ET School in the Great Lakes, my class was not ready, so I got a transfer to the USS Vogelgesang, DD 862, before Nuke School in Orlando. I was green. I was more green than a freshly cut Pear Tree.
By Mark Stigers 4 years ago in Humans
Post Xmas Xmas Party
Santa Claus took one last look at himself in the mirror, dropped his head to the back of the cistern, and easily vacuumed up the other line of cocaine he’d cut himself up just a few minutes ago. He could instantly taste the 100% pure quality of the stuff (The President himself had personally given it to him, as a Christmas present of course), and it didn't take long for the usual dopamine charged euphoria to wash over him for what seemed like the thousandth time that evening.
By Lloyd Blunden4 years ago in Humans
I Swear I’m Not Trying To Steal Your Truck
Here’s a fun fact. Back in the days when trucks had actual keys, if you put the wrong Ford key into a Ford ignition, the truck would think “STRANGER DANGER!” and completely shut down. As in, call a towing company, because only a Ford dealership knew how to bring your truck back from the dead.
By Bev Potter4 years ago in Humans
As I Lay Here
As I lay here, wide awake, the sounds are overwhelming. I hear the leaves rustle behind the broken boards that are left of the broken wall. I hear the howl of the wolves in the woods. I hear the buzzing of the flies by the hole filled ceiling. As I lay here, wide awake, I wonder if I’ll ever be warm again. If I’ll ever see my mother, who kept me inside for so long. I am scared. I am alone. I hide, behind the old stacks of hay inside the worn down barn. I traveled far from my warm, safe home to be in this dump. Now I wonder, will I starve to death here? I hear my stomach growling and I can’t help but wonder why I left to begin with.
By Chrystal Hynek5 years ago in Humans
My COVID Slumber Party
I remember the surreal day that we were put on lock down. I was so clueless I honestly didn't even know corona was a thing. And there I was questioning if we were even aloud to go to the grocery store, learning how to create a makeshift sterilized mask, using hand sanitizer until my skin was dry, and questioning every time I bit my fingernails if I had caught the dreaded corona!
By Stevi Vaughn5 years ago in Humans
Dance With a Spider
At the start of my 46th summer on Earth, I pick up a weed eater with the intent to turn it on and use it. My work generally keeps me inside, and often tied to a desk, so I love taking outdoor, yard-working breaks. How had I gone 46 years without ever having used a weed eater before? But that’s a mystery for another time.
By Riley Luviek5 years ago in Humans
Which of Henry VIII’s Queens Would Be Most Fun to Party With?
It’s a question we all contemplate at one time or another: which of Henry VIII’s brides would you bring your next night out on the town? Who would cluck like a mother hen, and who would do shots of Schnapps with you? Who’s passed out in a bathroom stall, and who’s impatiently shaking the car keys?
By Kathy Copeland Padden5 years ago in Humans
