humanity
For better or for worse, relationships reveal the core of the human condition.
Control
What does control as a child look like? I can't remember the look on my mother and fathers faces when I would ultimately make a decision that countered their very authority. I don't recall the "stops," and the "nos," that lingered in the air after my parents had watched me classically rebel. At some point you learn one of two things. There is a system already put in place when you come into this world. A heirarchy of old and new that form and get in line at the assembly to continue the practices of old. Mother and Fathers are right and you are without a doubt wrong. Even if you prove you are right on a matter, you are wrong for correcting the system. The system corrects and monitors itself. Parents know more, see more, hear more, understand more, and therefore have the perfect perspective to ultimately keep you safe, and happy. I realize I may be rambling a tad so if I may let me go back and clarify that I said there are two different ways of seeing things. Children often fall inline behind their parents and hold their native tongues, and ideals as sacred and right. It isn't until you realize that they are flawed and ignorant of certain things that you can make a decision to see things the other way. These children are what we call the "problem child." Oh come on you have all heard that phrase before, either used on you or one of your siblings. God forbid all of your children or you and your siblings turned out perfect you have most likely heard it from a friend or relative about their child. They are always up to no good, and they test their parents at every twist and turn. Most people don't really see this happen until teenage years, but some children choose to express this rebellion early. It often times lands them with remarks from the teachers, and swift and stern talks at home, sometimes landing at physical punishment to subside such behavior. I admit I was one of the children whom saw their parents as nobles and saints. I had instances of rebellion but for the most part temptation came knocking and I simply turned up the television volume. I had no need for my life to become more complex than it already was, and thus I had no need for change. My parents fed me and clothed me all the same. They took me to church and allowed me to be involved in whatever activities my little mind could think of. I got warm hugs, and kisses, and even in the midst of consequence my blanket was allowed to follow. (In case this metaphor is unclear, I am referring to the times at which I was put in time outs and I would bring my blanket into the chair with me and take a nap. This is a true story.) I had no need to question my parents because they, in my mind, had everything right. I was spoiled by no means, and therefore it let me be grateful when I did receive abundance of things. So why then as an adult do I look back and wonder had I challenged authority would I still be where I am today. I look up and all around me is drab and flat. I am stuck in a situation that outplays itself over and over a thousand times a day. Why have I trusted the people around me, as to a fault. I relied heavily on the support of my friendships, and family, and my work. Oh goodness my jobs. Are they not but a crutch saving you from devastation and despair. How many times my mother would come home and complain of the management at her job. Or my father would come home exhausted from the weight of overtime again and again in this dark slate of a winter. It wasn't a please could you, it was a if you don't we will find a reason why you aren't needed anymore. It was a sentencing my father could not bare year after year with three girls and a wife. You don't see the anguish as a child because you are too easily swayed by the packages, and feasts before your very eyes. Your parents are gravely tired from working their lives away, both to appease you, and appease their bosses. It is a jail sentence for them to lock down a retirement plan. While our generation was taught to not quite settle into a job that was beneath your potential, my parents had been given the gift of giving up. Give up and surrender your life to thirty years of passing time and neglecting the health of your body, your home, your mind, and well... your very dignity. You are but another cog in the wheel as they say. I don't want to be another cog in the wheel though. I have done it long enough and to what end does it bring? I followed the manner of my parents and I obeyed the scriptures and here I was ghastly underwhelmed.
By Peyton Rachelle Prince5 years ago in Humans
Welcome to My World!
Sooo...you all want to know huh? Well here is me in a nut-shell. Well, not really a nut-shell at all!! I am a mother of age 33 with 2 boys; one with autism and the other a "spit-fire." I can't believe I am even saying this! And I very well shouldn't because frankly it is really none of anyone's business. But you lot, no..you lot are so consumed with your lives you have to know the juicy, little sweet and sexy details of mine. So be it!! I have a husband who is 25 years older then me and have been with him for the past 18 years (married 15 though). He is the only man I have ever been with..if you know what I mean! My soulmate certainly winned and dinned me for sure. Otherwise, I might have had a boyfiend or too my own age of 18 years old ( future husband at 34). Here is the kicker and please don't take it to heart..I have known him since age 9 when his daughter; only 3 months older then me, is how we met. So is it better that I got with boys my own age who only want "one-thing", on their minds or to be like my great-grandparents and be with a man like fine-wine and have only one man for my whole entire life?? Want to know more?!We've all heard stories of women's husbands, boyfriends, brothers, or any male in their lives, going for younger women.And honestly, it's somewhat of a mystery. Well, you might find some clarity in these reasons as to why men prefer dating younger women. One,younger women are more adventurous.Next,they crave eternal youth and so choose to be with a younger women.Younger women are more open to new things intimately.Younger women make them feel wanted.In addition, I believe that older women have an emotional maturity that some men can't handle.I do not believe that fear of commitment drives older men into the embrace of younger women.In my opinion, I think some men might find women their age hard to control.I do not believe that intimacy might scare older men.However, younger women are more flexible about having their needs met. This isn't as much of a treat to older men. But it's not always because of these reasons that older men date younger women. Some times, they strike gold and have a genuine connection with their younger partners. And when that happens, it is sheer magic!I am not proud to say that years ago I had a strong stereotype in my mind. It was that a younger woman who married an older man would always be a gold digger. She never worked and never wanted to. The man would be a sexist who only valued her for her youthful perfection and expected nothing else from the relationship but for her to look good on his arm. That is true about 10% of the time, but I was so wrong about the other 90%!Imagine you are a man in your 40’s or 50’s who has gone through an awful divorce. Your ego has been raked over the coals. Every flaw you have has been shouted at you.Now imagine this young woman meets this older man.What happens next is magical. This man finds a woman who appreciates everything about him. He is so smart. He is so put together.He feels like he really is the greatest man too because she adores him. They fall in love and get married.When you are young anyone older should be able to impress you. They typically are more responsible and confident and knowledgeable. They ask you deep questions. They are not just after one thing. Once the younger woman and her peers grow older too, she begins seeing her older husband as ordinary, maybe even as just old. Then there is sex. Women do typically gain a significantly stronger sex drive in their late 30’s to late 40’s. Men, however, typically experience a steady decline. This does not help matters at all.So, the stereotype in my mind was very wrong.As great as it is to have a young partner show you new things, and an older partner teach you new things, there is no substitute for a partner who is your peer.No one can ever go back to the beginning of any relationship. It will never be, “…the way it was back in the beginning.” All relationships have challenges. In my experience this is the unique challenge of an older man and a younger woman as time goes by, simply put, they both get older. Hubby??..When you do read this; just know...you got me babe..through and through til the end.
By Jenny Hudson5 years ago in Humans
Selfish Love
Why do you choose to love those you choose to love? Not those you are supposed to love, such as family members, but those you choose to love. You make a conscience choice to invest your time and energy into another human which, to your knowledge, has no other connection to you other than the one made by complete coincidental circumstance. After the feelings have been strengthened, through time and experience, you may start to feel that you love this other individual so much that, in a sense, they are obligated to love you just the same. This is a common misconception and can quickly fester into something quite unhealthy.
By RandomTaterTots5 years ago in Humans
Death March
My doctor had stated with great conviction that I will die tomorrow. How blizzare. This is not something you conventionally hear about your medical diagnosis - it is usually "Oh Bettany, with a heavy heart I must tell you that you have six months to live. I am terribly sorry." My actual name is Bitna according to the birth certificate my mother got from a random South Korean hospital in one of the poorest areas when she was 21. She wasn't accompanied by my dad on the way in or out.
By Dary-Anna Kuseva5 years ago in Humans
Out of the Woodwork
When I first joined social media, over 12 years ago, I was a very different person. I acted differently, I looked different, I even sounded different. But most importantly, I stood for completely different things. So naturally, I acquired a lot of friends and followers early on who thought as I did. Who believed what I did. And as I have grown and learned, I have found myself continually drifting away from those people. We have gone our separate ways and remained civil internet friends, for the most part. But with the way the world is right now, I have a hard time staying silent when I see something posted that is hurtful or misguided. I know where these friends are coming from, I used to be there too, but someone helped me learn and I want to help them. More often than not, however, I am met with contempt. I have been called names, belittled, and insulted. I have been hurt by people I used to call my friends. This week was different. This week I stood up for what I believed in and received an outpouring of love from so many people, including several people I had not seen or spoken to in years. And it made all the difference. It can seem like an impossible task to stand up for what you believe in, especially on Social Media. There is so much misinformation and hate out there that it can just seem overwhelming. But if something is truly important to you, it is absolutely worth it to put yourself out there. I'm not saying it is easy. It is definitely not. But I am saying that it is worth it. You are not going to change every mind. You are not even going to change most minds. Change happens little by little, through hundreds of conversations. It takes time and effort and a willingness to listen and learn on both sides. It is hard work, but you will never regret speaking up, especially when it is as simple as writing a comment on a post. Be aware that not everyone will be ready to have the conversations that need to happen. Know that sometimes you will have to walk away. Not every relationship should be saved. But even if you don't reach that person right away, you could be the catalyst on a long journey of positive change, and that is so very important. This week I am so very grateful to every person who supported me when I spoke up. Who had my back when I was torn down. And who were right there with me when I made the choice to remove people who did not care to listen from my life. Know that you have encouraged me more than words can say. You have given me all the motivation I needed to continue to stand up for what is right whenever I get the chance. And that right there is how we will change the world.
By Emily Farrell5 years ago in Humans
