Tavleen Kaur
Bio
🧠 Psychology student decoding the human brain one blog at a time.
🎭 Into overthinking, under-sleeping, and asking “but why though?” way too often.
✨ Writing about healing, identity, and emotion
Stories (18)
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Things I Wish I Could Say at the Dinner Table
Dinner tables in brown households are their own kind of theatre. Everyone has a role: the talkative uncle with endless stories, the aunt with unsolicited advice, the parent who slips in reminders about grades or weight, the sibling who tries to disappear into their phone. And then there’s me, the one quietly calculating which version of myself will cause the least chaos.
By Tavleen Kaur4 months ago in Families
I Raised My Sibling — But No One Raised Me
There’s a strange ache that comes with being the eldest in a brown household. You’re born into a role you never signed up for, and before you even realise it, you’re balancing two identities: a child in your own right and a substitute parent for the one who came after you.
By Tavleen Kaur4 months ago in Families
Why Does Everyone Act Like the Eldest Son Is a God?
Let me paint you a familiar picture: the whole family is gathered. Someone brings up how well the eldest son is doing — usually a cousin. The doctor. The engineer. The boy who once cried because his charger broke, but now apparently holds the universe together.
By Tavleen Kaur7 months ago in Families
The Eldest Daughter Syndrome: I Was the Second Mom, Not the Sister
There’s something funny about being the eldest daughter in a brown household — you’re not just the firstborn. You’re the test run, the third parent, the role model, and somehow, the family’s unofficial emotional manager.
By Tavleen Kaur8 months ago in Psyche
Rest Is Not Laziness: Breaking the Hustle Mentality We Grew Up With
There’s a particular kind of guilt that creeps in when you’re doing... nothing. The kind where you’re lying in bed on a Sunday afternoon, phone in hand, sunlight pouring in — and instead of feeling peace, your chest tightens. You start thinking about your to-do list. You wonder if you’re wasting time. You feel like you should be doing something.
By Tavleen Kaur8 months ago in Psyche
Crying Is for Girls: How Brown Boys Are Taught to Shut Down Emotion
If you’re a brown kid, you’ve probably heard it. “Don’t cry. Be strong.” “Stop acting like a girl.” “Boys don’t cry.” It’s subtle, but constant. The message is clear: vulnerability is weakness, and weakness is not for men. Especially not brown men.
By Tavleen Kaur8 months ago in Psyche
Growing Up with Colourism in Brown Households
Growing up brown often means growing up in a house where the TV is always on, but the messages it sends are quietly shaping you. A skin-lightening commercial plays in the background. A distant relative compliments you with, “You’re looking fairer these days!” Your mom hands you a face pack, not because you asked for skincare, but because it has turmeric in it—"good for brightening."
By Tavleen Kaur8 months ago in Families
