Samantha Smith
Bio
I am an aspiring author, who also has too much to say about random books and movies.
Achievements (1)
Stories (51)
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New Skill Unlocked: Running Without Headphones
New Skill Unlocked: Running Without Headphones Being okay being in my own head When I started marathon training (disguised as a ‘running journey’), I was not mentally equipped for the amount of time I was about to spend in my head. I needed the perfect playlist to be able to complete the run (a trait I’d likely carried over from being unable to live without background noise). Without the maximum amount of adrenaline derived from songs with the highest BPM, I couldn’t keep going. I would stop and walk until I queued another song. I picked the fastest songs in any genre, ones that they might play in an anime fight scene. I came up with daydreams. Fight scenes. Performances. Races. Anything that could serve as a distraction.
By Samantha Smith4 months ago in Humans
Why Is My Grandmother Not Here and How Do I Get Her Back?
I always thought the denial stage of grief must be the quickest. Surely it would only be the moments right after the death when you don’t believe what you’re told. The moment where the world shifts and you try to cling to the way things were before. I never imagined it would last longer than five minutes after the person is made aware of the loss.
By Samantha Smith4 months ago in Families
Lessons in Grief and How Often to Cry (the answer is constantly)
Lessons in Grief and the Question of How Often to Cry (the answer is constantly) This was originally meant to be a series of things I learned from my experiences with loss this summary, but that is asking for something far more coherent than I am capable of making right now. Each time I sit down to write this, my emotions are in a completely different place, and I am unable to order any of my thoughts. To some extent, I think that it fits this piece that it’s a little all over the place. Grief is all over the place, and I think to pretend I was put together would be a disservice. So if I seem all over the place, it’s because I am, and that’s okay, or at least I’m learning that it is. If I repeat myself or contradict myself, please bear with me. This list of lessons is messy because my mental state is fractured. Grief is not a linear path, and I will contradict myself because grief and life can feel so contradictory within themselves. I am torn between feeling everything and nothing at all. Things feel normal and completely different.
By Samantha Smith5 months ago in Families
Dams Don't Break in the Light
Things rarely change overnight, but when they do, it's almost never for the better. Good things have a tendency to build slowly. Opportunities yield to each other, and hope finds time to grow. Tragedies, conversely, occur within the blink of an eye. All at once, everything is changed.
By Samantha Smith5 months ago in Fiction
The World Keeps Spinning and I Hate it for That. Content Warning.
Work is so hectic that sometimes I forget to miss her. I forget the hours spent in the hospital, grasping a hand that slowly failed to grasp mine in return. My mother’s grave lies in a different state, barricading the memories behind state lines. In the midst of spreadsheets and calls from clients who forgot their online banking passwords, emotions get folded between the hours of the day, and exhaustion pushes grieving to the back burner.
By Samantha Smith6 months ago in Fiction
