Things rarely change overnight, but when they do, it's almost never for the better. Good things have a tendency to build slowly. Opportunities yield to each other, and hope finds time to grow. Tragedies, conversely, occur within the blink of an eye. All at once, everything is changed.
Alexandra was too used to normalcy to understand how quickly things can change. High school is unbearably monotonous, and variations are slight. Even if the content of the homework differs, the act of doing it every night with her assortment of colored pens was always the same.
It was a normal day by most parameters. Alexandra gulped down her cup of coffee on her way out the door, nearly scorching her tongue as she tends to do. She stumbled into first period with all of her homework done, but still a sense that she didn't truly understand the material. Other classes were similar. Lunch was the same sandwich that she chokes down every day, an almond butter and strawberry jam sandwich eaten at 11:15 in the morning. And she bemoaned her early lunch period the same as she did every other day. Everything down to JV soccer practice went largely the same as it always did.
There are some moments which create such a shift that life divides into what came before and what comes after. One of those moments happens on her walk home from school. The sun is setting low on the horizon, beginning to turn the sky bright orange. A rosy pink settles across the top of the clouds like a haze. Alexandra is walking with her friend Dianne, reviewing the events of the day. It's typical in a way that's comforting, one of the happy moments of life that people rarely think about until they're gone.
When Alexandra's phone rings, she almost doesn't answer. Afterall, she's only a few minutes away from home. But it occurs to her that the milk was running low this morning, so her mom might be calling to ask her to run to the store.
"Mom?" She answers, offering an apologetic glance to Dianne, who calls her own hello to Mrs. Gianis.
Her mom's response feels like it's barely audible as a roar grows in her ears. All at once, her body begins to freeze, and everything starts to slow. Little things cease having any importance at all. She doesn't remember hanging up. Barely remembers what she tells Dianne. Her explanation to her friend's worried questioning comes in fragments.
"A car crash. My aunt. They said there was nothing...they could do."
Dianne nearly falls over herself trying to bring her friend in for a hug. Alexandra can barely feel it. She nods along as Dianne offers her condolences and comforts. It feels like she has to focus to be able to hear. Her brain is jumbled. Memories flood. Disbelief rises. Aunt Margaret can't be gone. That doesn't seem possible. They went out for ice cream two days ago.
A caring friend, Dianne walks her home and doesn't leave her side until she's deposited her in the care of her mother. All Alexandra can think about is that she feels like she should be crying, and she doesn't understand why she isn't.
All of their family comes to comfort her mom. People keep calling. She feels like she's underwater. Tears still don't come. No feelings do. They're behind a dam, waiting to overflow, and she can't reach them before then.
Her mom cries. It's ugly and terrifying, and it breaks her heart. Alexandra doesn't leave her mom's side until her dad comes home. But she doesn't say much either. She can't.
The sun continues to set in defiance of their sorrow, painting beauty on a night that they will hate forever. The sun hides below the horizon, and the stars begin to burn into the blackness. Their beauty feels offensive.
It's only in the dark that things begin to feel more real. Well-meaning friends and family return to their own beds. Alexandra's dad holds his wife as he forces her to go to bed. Alexandra is left staring at a desk that she should be doing homework at. But she can't do homework. Not when Aunt Margaret isn't here anymore. Everything normal feels wrong and pointless. What's the point in doing anything if she's not here?
Alone in the darkness, the dam breaks. The tears come. And change becomes real.
About the Creator
Samantha Smith
I am an aspiring author, who also has too much to say about random books and movies.
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