Keanna Barry
Bio
Give me a chance to help you with my own words?
My writing is intended to be read by you and the lessons being learned from what i am saying is all i pray and hope for to help improve quality of life for you, me, and like everyone else too!
Stories (106)
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Pity Party
Birthdays were the worst days. Says me at age 22. During my childhood it sucked even more. Due to my living situation I was forced to celebrate my birthday months after my “special day” because that stupid day was 10 days after Christmas. No one ever made me feel special so it’s a massive pity party every single time. Tell me now; why’d I always have to be forgotten? Why’d I never have friends to even invite to my lame parties? They were lame because they were shared parties with my two older siblings and as much as I love them both I’ve never felt as though things were meant for me or that I deserved to be celebrated. Especially because they had their friends there for them and I did not have friends at all at the time to even invite.
By Keanna Barry 5 years ago in Motivation
Lost
In a picture perfect era I’m wondering why I don’t wonder more. Why I shy off from doing my part in this life? Why I bounce from love to love to love to love? Not because I necessarily have the options to hop around like that but because I’m trying to find the best most suitable lover to me where he’s protective, obsessive, clingy, and believes in sharing the roles in a relationship. With my wind of insecurities I hold on to the idea of someone. Someone I may have let go of too many times and now I’m on my own again. I shouldn’t be allowed to drag people down no matter what I’m going through or for how much they do love me. I shouldn’t be held in a corner where they are ‘supposed’ to ask how I am when I was probably already in a state that everybody seems to ignore because since it’s not them they flat out just do not care. I bring this up but it won’t change a thing. Or at least it won’t change the right things. Which upsets me and makes me question if I’m doing all of this for nothing? In ways I don’t want the truth to that answer. Like at all. It’s paining that these existences cause so much in problematic ways of showing experience towards those that need to keep in touch with us. But why must I forgive somebody for tormenting my life to bad, horrible, pitchy extents? They are not sorry nor remorseful for anything they’ve put me through and it’s just sad. Sad that I could ever believe in this type of involvement.
By Keanna Barry 5 years ago in Humans
How To Conquer The Planet
To conquer the planet in peaceful ways is what I’m about. To own the day and run the night. Then to also be aspired, gifted and blessed with freedom is one of our many wonderful gifts as humans. Many of us use it poorly or we use it out of hatred. Which totally sucks because then problems arise but hear me out. My main issue with the way our planet is run is there is too many different ways of excelling with the public. Lots of poor decisions made by individuals that cause a disturbance in the lives of other individuals. Problems that do not need to be created or maintained. Problems that need to be mended rather than be ignored or they do not need to be maintained to the point where they just never become resolved. I find this as an extremely sticky situation due to how often myself or my fellow followers or supporters blamelessly try to attract better greatnesses. But instead of reaching that better greatness we get held onto a backwards complication which regards unholy attempts of drawing out more of this uneasy form of care from one another and then back to another.
By Keanna Barry 5 years ago in Motivation
Sure, I’m “okay”.
In this world; agression and hate overpower love and peace. I’m trapped in a dream state where I can’t feel my emotions yet I know I am being affected by them. Fear and doubt. Fear and doubt linger in the inner corners of my mind. My mind is a playground for them. They’re guests in my privacy yet it does not mean that they are welcomed to stay. Fear and doubt are a couple. Yes they are dating each other and have made a name for themselves in which I choose to reject. I choose to reject the idea of this conflicting matter. Fear and doubt; you can’t live a life without running into one, but because they are dating one is never far from the other. Fear and doubt conquer my life in hateful ways. I’m no hateful person; the hate comes from living in a state that does compromise my safety and throws my positive outlook on life in the garbage.
By Keanna Barry 5 years ago in Humans
Rotten Dreams
I never believed in "luck" but misfortunes seem to compromise my life to great extents. Imagine being too sad to think. Being too stressed to function. Being too afraid to exist. Those are just some of my troubles. Not being able to show emotion is another thing I face on the daily and it hurts. It hurts and its a violent streak of wanting to give up. I don't want to give up. Yet I find myself lost and left without a clue to being found. Nobody seems to care either. Now, I feel alone in the sense that most people will not understand my situation or can even relate to what I am going through. That's just reality for us all. Or at least that is MY reality.
By Keanna Barry 5 years ago in Humans
Musical Therapy
These songs shall play from the clouds. Or at least in my paradise that’s what’s going down. I wish for instrumentals to play in the background of my life at all times. That way I can be alone without feeling the loneliness of it all. For my most meaningful playlist be made for anyone willing to be influenced by the music I am excited to share. Here it is:
By Keanna Barry 5 years ago in Beat
Clues to Success
Welcome to the land of Zabeth. A place full of blessings, luck, and great fortunes. Here we welcome all types of love. It’s a magical space for those who do wish to create greatness and witness uplifting others who are far to gone to go and do it for themselves. It’s a self improvement atmosphere at all times. How great is that?
By Keanna Barry 5 years ago in Futurism
A Good Deed Done
I’m in love with the world but scared of it too. Tell me if any of this is true? To be a doer or a person that makes things happen is it not moral to complete this duty with a full heart? A complete full heart where its hard to lose focus on the projective you're attempting to fulfill. This type of fulfillment is extraordinare.
By Keanna Barry 5 years ago in Motivation
Why Later?
Time goes by and all they heard were my silent cries. I lost my youth from dying inside. Let me tell you its not poetic or heroic. Its the raw truth of what i'm going through. To be a person... not just any person but a person who personally does not fit in well with others. A person scared of not being under the covers. A person who spent their life hiding. Hiding away so she may not face defeat all too soon. The point of it was to never but realistically speaking i still did and it was not a fun time. Nor ideal for me or anybody else to go and live through. The proper commotions file as a bunch located in one streak. Know what i mean? The issues concerning our hearts twist and pull at our peace making it hard to live at ease.
By Keanna Barry 5 years ago in Motivation
#BellLetsTalk
#BellLetsTalk Hi. My name is Keanna Barry. I am a 22 year old living with schizophrenia and other mental illnesses such as depression and P.T.S.D. I suffer from drug addiction and suicidal tendencies as well. September 2016 was the first time i was hospitalized. I was scared. I had never known how serious my problems were until my first admission. I was just 17 at that time young and impressionable. They had me taking medication and talking to a psychiatrist which didn’t seem to sit with me well. I was so against the tactics of what they were planning for me. At the time I didn’t understand that they were just trying to prioritize my well being. But at that time it didn’t look or feel like it at all. I was forced to stop doing drugs and even though I had no withdrawals it still upset me to the point where i had lashed out a small armour of anger from me onto the ones who couldn’t understand my dependancy on my substance and see why I had an addiction to even begin with. I felt I had to protect myself from these people. I didn’t know what exactly they had in mind when I was in there, they never told me so it was sort of like a free for all when it came down to being given therapy when yes i know the nurses aren't legal therapists or its not "required" in their job description but I feel I wouldn't have been so lost and confused in there because I just didn’t feel like their techniques that they do complete would work. Yet as I stand here today I’ll admit I was wrong; something I’m not completely used to being. That was the beginning of my recovery. For me I never expected myself to make it to where they had me. I grew up believing I wouldn’t make it to my adulthood but here I am. Today I’m here to tell my story and hopefully influence who ever is in this motion with me to heal and make peace with themselves. For the longest time I blamed myself for my illness. That wasn’t healthy of me to believe or act on. It took many months of self therapy for me to actually admit this. But I’m healing and it feels so great to be able to say that with an honest heart. I’m still on the road to recovery as my life has its many issues that I am working on to make amends. It takes strength and effort but it’s so worth the time it takes because even if it’s a long distance run the end mark still exists for you when you can finally reach that state. I had been feeling a lot more depressed in my last admission which had been a longer term stay of 19 months only by witnessing all of us who are hurt and had been in there for our own personal distraught reasons. And it’s quite sad to me that a lot have been in there for many years and they don’t seem to be as if they’re on their road to recovery. I do pray that they can find the wisdom to do as I have and take that action to make better with their troubles. I’m very keen on seeing myself and others working on whatever it is that makes us live uncomfortably. Because part of that is why I’ve been sick. Not being able to live comfortably but since I’ve began my healing journey I’ve found to stop living in fear and it’s something I’ve suffered with in the past to great extents that I was just so afraid of everything down to introducing myself, meeting new people, public speaking, being in social settings with strangers, and other things that revolve around being with other people. I’m getting lesser and lesser shy and less anti social but it’s a tough one to get past. I found out on my own that my “shyness” was in fact an error of being unable to know how to socialize properly and at certain times at all. Since when I was young I always found it so hard to be in social settings and it was so bad that it followed me into my adolescence. Now that I’m a bit older I’ve found reason for why I lived my life the way I did. But now that I am at this exact point in my life I’ve never felt so relieved. Relieved that I am okay. That things are falling into place and that I am not here alone.
By Keanna Barry 5 years ago in Psyche
