Ian Vince

Joined October 2020

122 stories

Bio

Erstwhile non-fiction author, ghost & freelance writer for others, finally submitting work that floats my own boat, does my own thing. I'll deal with it if you can.

Top Writer in Humo(u)r.

Achievements (6)

Stories (122)

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Welcome to the AI Toilet
Just relax and ease into the task at hand. Muskary 17th, 2049 It was a woeful day working at the coal face of the Singularity. The chatbots were lying again and were, therefore, not entirely dissimilar to the evil idiot savants they had to thank for their delegated power.
By Ian Vince21 days ago in Humor
The Arcane Hourglass
Cosmic Red Alert! Dear Sausage, Owing to my great esoteric sensitivity, the current angle of my pineal gland and my dimensional proximity to the angelic realm, I have become finely attuned to higher-plane spiritual emanation.
By Ian Vinceabout a month ago in Humor
Two Trees. Honorable Mention in Roots and Branches Challenge.
A memory is a place Where the tree curls its roots, As the dry, rustling canopy dies, And cries its branches, brittle-broken,
By Ian Vinceabout a month ago in Poets
The Creation of Mammon. Top Story - November 2025.
From: Angel Medium Krea.ai RE: Your subscription renewal. I just wanted to check in with you, dearest Pickle, because when I awoke from a-slumber this morning, brushed my teeth, combed my aura and slipped into something more fluttery, I had an overwhelming feeling about you… and it worried me because I sensed that you might be feeling overwhelmed with confidence, and not anxious, unhappy, or open to manipulation in the slightest.
By Ian Vince2 months ago in Humor
Let Go Together
Summer, and the air is sweet and laced with threats of thunder All was good until the flight of fancy that is only falling forever.
By Ian Vince4 months ago in Poets
Flit
You must first make movement an inevitability. You wear motion as a helix, A controlled, coiling, corkscrew of deliberate intent and fear.
By Ian Vince5 months ago in Poets
Re: Kindling
It has been two weeks or so since I uploaded the digital replica of my first book Britain: What a State to the Kindle store. I’ve done a few social posts, I wrote about it on here, and have flapped around like a wallflower at the absolute edge of attention.
By Ian Vince5 months ago in Writers
On Kindling
As almost any writer will tell you, Amazon have spent the last two decades upending the way the world does books. If you were not an author that was lucky enough to be published by the trade houses of yesteryear, you might regard those publishers as cobweb-laced, fusty and dusty people in tweed holding the line against the barbarians at the gate. If you were lucky enough to have been signed by one of these publishers as Amazon imposed egregious, faintly abusive commercial terms on the industry, you probably have a different view, even though the book chains were just as tough on publishing in terms of demanding discounts in exchange for promotional spots on the tables at the front of the store.
By Ian Vince6 months ago in Writers
Brextrication
Note: I’ve had these layouts lying around my hard drive like a torporific teenager who has outstayed their welcome and eaten all the cheese. Not all metaphors work, do they? So, I thought I would Kindle them and make a few pennies from this project nobody wanted to touch with a burnt stick back in 2016.
By Ian Vince6 months ago in Humor
A Hot Topic
Now summer appears to have finally arrived, can I strike a dissonant chord by suggesting that it goes away again? No? I should explain. I’m writing this article in the middle of the night. Earlier today, an unscheduled siesta on my desktop whisked me away from work into a swirling narcoleptic swoon, punctuated only by the sudden thud of an office stapler I’d been holding as it landed on the floor.
By Ian Vince6 months ago in Humor
The Landscape’s Lines of Desire
On Green Lanes and Holloways Of all the various roads and paths that snake their way through the countryside – A roads, B roads, byways and bridleways – it’s interesting to note that some ways are invested with more romance than the rest. By some ways, I mean green lanes and holloways.
By Ian Vince6 months ago in Wander
Portrait of a Landscape
If there’s one thing that I learned in the countless hours of recreation disguised as research for my book, The Lie of the Land, every landscape in Britain seems to have a way of explaining itself. That might appear to be a curious claim to make, but time and again I have found that our countryside, which has been shaped by a long and exotic chain of events, bears the scars of its formation for anyone who is prepared to approach our beautiful scenery with the right spirit of enquiry. It is an enquiry that can lead you to understand both the environment and our place in it.
By Ian Vince6 months ago in Earth