satire

Politicians provide us with all of the comedy gold. We're only mere curators.

Standing Up for Sitting Out
“You MUST stand against Hamas,” someone tells me, “Stand Up for Palestine!” another insists. After watching a dozen YouTube videos on the history of the region and the conflict, I still can not decide. Analysts from both viewpoints make perfectly rational arguments why their side is correct and just. I've spent hours flip-flopping from being terribly outraged at one side, and then the other, and feel I am no closer to making an informed decision on 'where I stand' than when I started. I'm exhausted, outraged, and want to shout at everyone. I need a breather.
By Scott Christenson🌴2 years ago in The Swamp
President Vows to Protect Nazis with Own Life
August 26th (Nashua, NH) – Your rights, freedoms, and liberties are all under attack, according to the President of the United States. At a press conference held after meeting with the governor of New Hampshire ostensibly to discuss recent events in the State, the President addressed the media and others in attendance with a fiery speech about personal freedoms. Said the President:
By J.P. Prag2 years ago in The Swamp
Protesters Invited Inside the White House, Fight Each Other Instead
August 7th (Washington, D.C.) – Protestors outside the White House yesterday found themselves the recipients of a unique proposition when the President of the United States invited them inside to discuss their concerns. Unfortunately for them, a lack of cohesion in the crowd made it appear that the opportunity would slip through their fingers. How this rare opportunity to meet with the President came about and the reverberations from the entire escapade has left the protestors, law enforcement officers, and members of the federal government reeling. Details are still emerging, but this is what we know so far.
By J.P. Prag2 years ago in The Swamp
On the Eve of Independence Day, President Leads Impromptu Tour of Homeless Encampment
July 3rd (Washington, D.C.) – On the eve of the country’s birthday, the President of the United States grabbed several reporters, a camera team, a security detail, and anyone who happened to be in the hallways, and took them on a walk around the nation’s capital.
By J.P. Prag2 years ago in The Swamp
Calling Moscow - 18
To my dear friend Rita, who works tirelessly on nuclear non-proliferation since late 1990s. This conversation happened on September 13, as Trump was seeking the details of Putin-Kim summit in the Far East.
By Lana V Lynx2 years ago in The Swamp
President's Speech at College Graduation Goes Far off the Rails
May 28th (Castleton, VT) – When the undergraduate student union at Castleton University voted to have the President of the United States be their commencement speaker, no one seriously expected the invitation to be accepted and the leader of the free world to appear before them at their little-known small liberal arts college in the middle of the woods of Vermont.
By J.P. Prag2 years ago in The Swamp
The Secret Wars the President Does Not Want You to Know About
May 14th (Detroit, MI) – Is the President of the United States a person of peace, or a purveyor of war? As details leak out from behind the scenes of the White House, the question is becoming more and more difficult to answer.
By J.P. Prag2 years ago in The Swamp
Moscow's Calling - 11
Part 2 for Benjamin, a future superstar of American neuroscience. Keep rising! Putin is in The Hague on trial for the war crimes. The judge is addressing him, “Is there anyone who could testify to your good character, Mr. Putin?”
By Lana V Lynx2 years ago in The Swamp
Calling Moscow - 17
For Benjamin, a rising superstar of American neuroscience. Thank you for the idea! Trump anxiously waiting for a call to be picked up, “Pick it up, Vlad, please, pick it up!”
By Lana V Lynx2 years ago in The Swamp
Transcript of the First Republican Presidential Debate
In a worldwide exclusive, we has acquired the transcript of the debate via single-use access to a time machine. Could we have used it to travel back to 1889 to kill baby Hitler or to 2016 to delete to the master tapes of Baby Shark? Sure. Did we instead frivolously skip ahead a couple days to get a sneak peak at the first and largely irrelevant Republican Presidential Debate? You bet we did.
By Jack Faulkner2 years ago in The Swamp
Calling Moscow - 16
This conversation happened late at night on August 14, 2023, shortly after the news of Trump’s indictment in the State of Georgia broke.
By Lana V Lynx2 years ago in The Swamp
President Decrees America is the Most Communist National on Earth
April 11th (Alabaster, AL) – This past Friday, the President of the United States sat down with the largest socialist periodical in America—one that we will refrain from naming in these prestigious pages in order not to lend them any credence and legitimacy. As established during the third day of this administration, the President brought an end to the routine of daily press briefings and regular access to the White House and replaced them with a free-for-all end-of-week one-on-one bonanza. While the leader of the free world was more than happy to spend time with socialists, I would be remiss if I did not point out that the President has still not sat down with yours truly.
By J.P. Prag2 years ago in The Swamp