trauma
At its core, trauma can be thought of as the psychological wounds that persist, even when the physical ones are long gone.
I survived
2011 is when it started. I should have seen the signs but he was charming and handsome. It started out so normal, we would laugh and spend all of our time together. 2012 hits and I find out I’m pregnant. The worst time of my life. Not saying I wasn’t happy to be pregnant but the whole experience was horrible. The first time the abuse happened he tore my jeans, threw juice on me, called me ugly and fat. He apologized so I just took it as he really loved me so he was just super angry. Yeah I’m an idiot I know. Let’s fast forward to us moving into our first apartment together! We were super excited. Our son was so excited to finally have both his parents under one roof. But things took a turn. Now I don’t want to say names so I’ll call him Lenny. Lenny had a gambling problem and when he lost he took his anger out on whoever or whatever was in front of him. It started out with him breaking TVs, throwing glass, punching the walls. But then I became the tv and the wall. I remember him picking me up by my throat him. He kept slamming me over and over again. I was scared. I didn’t know who to tell or what to do. I remember crying the rest of the night. But I stayed. From that day on I experienced a broken wrist TWICE, a black eye 3 times and a fractured nose. Anytime I would go to the hospital I would have some bs excuse of how I fell, how my son accidentally threw a football and hit me in the eye or nose, the lies were just flowing out at this point. Then the worst day of my life came. It was a Monday and Lenny was gambling and drinking. The worst combo. I remember making a comment like “Please stop drinking” because he was extremely loud and my son was watching. I remember being punched in the face, I remember my nose bleeding, I remember him picking up a steel toe boot and getting ready to throw it at me. I remember the fear in my sons eyes as I grab him and ran out of the door with no shoes on. I remember calling the cops and them putting me in the back of an ambulance. I felt empty, embarrassed, hurt, scared, I felt like the worst mom in the world for putting my son in a situation like that. He was so scared and crying because he didn’t know what was doing on. If only I would have left after the first time he put his hands on me. I remember being asked by his mother “What was done to make him this angry”, I was so confused because what type of question is that? Why is it my fault?it seems like victims always get the blame. To this day I struggle to understand why I even stayed. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t safe, this wasn’t a family I wanted. So why did I stay? To this day I’m finding myself still struggling to find ways to make my son understand that this wasn’t love and how love doesn’t hurt. I see many stories of women who didn’t make it. I picture my life ending just like that if I wouldn’t have gotten away that day. This man had a steel toe boot! I could have died if he would have hit me with it. I use my life experience as a way to become a stronger person. I continue to move forward, I continue to tell my story because I don’t want anyone going through this to feel alone like I did. I want to reach out to other females who have been in a domestic relationship. We aren’t victims, we are survivors.
By Asia Perry3 years ago in Psyche
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F%ck Self Harm
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How your subconscious will remember trauma that you may not and the reactions it will have!
This picture seemed like a happy family but when you get to the end of this you will see what is wrong with this photos and what’s hidden inside your mind that some who have had trauma don’t realize.
By Manager Marie4 years ago in Psyche
Hello My name is Trauma
I am not picky. I am known for bringing havoc to the young and the old. It doesn't matter if you are male or female, rich or poor. I can still cause chaos wherever I go. I am Trauma and do cause terrible things to happen to people, but I don't plan on overstaying my welcome. I come and then go, but unfortunately for many, they get more of me for much longer. I stay with them throughout their childhood and into adult life, which causes so many hard times for them and others. Sometimes I get trapped in a loop and don't know what is happening. It seems like I am repeatedly happening but at different times, but then I remember that was the first time I got here, not right now. I don't know why this person would what to replay me so many times.
By Amy Thomas4 years ago in Psyche
