disorder
The spectrum of Mental Health disorders is incredibly vast; we showcase the multitude of conditions that affect mood, thinking and behavior.
How an advertisement changed my life
I will never forget the day that my mom told me about an advertisement she had seen online. I remember that we were in the driveway at nighttime. As my mom parked the car, she mentioned that she saw an online advertisement for an OCD study. Throughout my whole life I had always struggled with obsessive compulsive disorder commonly known as OCD for as long as I could remember. OCD greatly impacted almost every aspect of my life. Every day OCD controlled what I wore, what songs I could listen too and how I interacted with others. Even though I was on a medication and that helped to improve my overall mood and made it easier to function in everyday life. OCD still had still had a lot of control over my life and I struggled with it every day. After looking into the advertisement that my mom had told me about, I learned that it was for an OCD study located at the Rodriguez Lab at Stanford. I decided to contact them, and it was not long before I found myself being screened for the different studies that were currently taking place. After a few visits it was decided that I would be participating in a study focusing on Transcranial magnetic stimulation also known as TMS. TMS is a treatment that has been used for depression where a magnetic pulse is delivered to a certain part of the brain. This study was to see if TMS would have a positive impact on OCD patients in a short amount of time. The treatment would be done over a five-day period. I would arrive in the morning and receive TMS treatment at different times during the day. Before I could begin my treatment, I would need to get an MRI.I was a little nervous, but the MRI was not bad at all I was relaxed and felt liked I could fall asleep. I was excited and ready to begin treatment, however I was nervous because I would have to stay closer to the lab. I do not drive, and both my parents work so it would not be possible for me to make the trip that is about thirty minutes each way over a five-day period. Hotels in the area were not in the budget so I ended up staying in an Air B&B that was a short Uber ride from the lab. It was hard to not be able to come home after a long day of treatment, but I was so tired of living with OCD’s daily demands that I willing to be away from home for a while. A typical day of treatment went like this. Wake up super early, get ready get an uber to the lab, settle into my own room for the day then walk to the treatment room several times during the day. I had a good amount of time in between my TMS sessions but I kept myself busy by listing to audio books, blogging and doing word searches. Being apart of this study meant taking a break from my everyday life however I felt comfortable coming to the lab each day. The staff there were all supportive and friendly and they helped me to feel confident. I was cautiously optimistic when I become a part of this study. I wanted this treatment to work but you never know what is going to work or not until you try it. Even if this treatment did not work the way I hoped it would, I knew that this research would be used to help others that were having their daily lives interrupted by OCD. Fortunately, this treatment had an incredibly positive impact on me. One thing that my OCD controlled was what songs I could and could not listen to. One day during my week of treatment I was able to listen to one of my favorite songs. What would have been an everyday occurrence for a lot of people was an incredible breakthrough for me. My OCD had not let me listen to that song in a long time. It caused me to feel like something bad would happen if I listened to that song. However, that day I not only listened to the song I watched the music video as well. I was incredibly happy as I listened to that song. I felt so free as enjoyed a song that OCD had kept me from enjoying for so long. In addition to being able to listen to that song, TMS brought me many positive changes. I now had the freedom to control my everyday choices. I got to chose what I wanted to wear, listen to, and how I interacted with others. OCD no longer had the same authority over my life that it used to. My life had changed for the better in a huge way. The treatment reduced my OCD symptoms by about eighty percent. I still have OCD, but I am the one who is in charge of the choices now. I am so thankful that my mom saw that advertisement my life is much better now because of it.
By Christina Epperly5 years ago in Psyche
Red Flag
Red flag, red flag, red flag. It feels like my heart is beating faster than my thoughts are racing, but that is an impossibility. My thoughts are swirling at the speed of light, around and around and around like a whirlpool determined to pull me under. They wrap themselves around me, a false friend providing comfort, but they are choking me; they are overwhelming me. I have been at war with my thoughts all my life; their victory is an ever-present threat.
By Edith (yesterday4)5 years ago in Psyche
Life with Co-Occurring Disorders
As a child, I never seemed to feel as if I fit in. I always seemed to be the odd man out. I remembered being incredibly sad and depressed even as a pre-teen. When a “friend” (let’s use that term loosely) decided she hated me and that everyone should too, I started planning my suicide. I was only 11. My mother knew I was always lashing out, always crying, or always anxious, but we all thought it was a phase. Looking back, I could see why. I don’t hate my parents for thinking that.
By rachel west5 years ago in Psyche
Freshman Year
TW: suicidal ideation, depression, trauma, I was staring at the wall riding a bus home, and I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about all the ways I could attempt suicide, a task I tried nightly, failing every time. I had found myself in a cycle of self hatred, waking to the nagging voice reminding me you failed again, can't do anything right. I tried to shake myself free of the intrusive thoughts that cluttered my every thought until it completely died out. Leaving only the intrusive thought, leaving only plots of suicide.
By L.D. Malachite 5 years ago in Psyche
Eating with an eating disorder
Let's start from the beginning, lets start with my mother's eating disorder. My mother was a woman who did not eat due to the traumas imparted on her by her grandparents, people I had never met. Mom was told she was fat from her hospital bed as a teen when she passed out because she was so underweight. She had no clue when she was with child how often children ate, as she didn't consume on a daily basis, asking my grandma "do babies have to eat every day?". The news rippled across my family as people realized with a start that she was in no way fit or prepared to be a parent.
By L.D. Malachite 5 years ago in Psyche
Forever Goodbye ED
Dear Ed, This is going to be hard to say but i think its time we part ways. You have been by my side ever since grade school when my nickname was baby hippo and i am now 3 years out of high school. You have been to hell and back with me, but i cant have you be apart of me anymore. You have been noting but negative, a liar and a terrible "friend". everything you have told me throughout the past 9 years have been complete lies: "you're too fat you cant eat that", d0nt even think about laying down go out and exercise you need to lose weight", "you'll get fat if you have that piece of cheesecake". I know this isn't true, well now I do.
By Zoey Raffay5 years ago in Psyche
Living on the fucking border(line).
Now I am not talking about upstate New York. Or down south in El Paso, Texas. I am talking about a personality disorder so confusing, even the title leaves many people confused. Borderline. Teetering on the edge of something. Almost there. Well yes, but in actuality, quite the opposite. The term “borderline” was first introduced in the United States in 1938. It was a term used by early psychiatrists to describe people who were thought to have a tendency to regress into “borderline schizophrenia” in certain situations. At the time, people with neurosis were believed to be treatable, whereas people with psychoses were deemed untreatable. These patients were especially confusing. They didn’t quite fit into the the category of neurotic personality. Or psychotic. Ultimately, where these patients inhabited is somewhere in purgatory – no man’s land if you will. Somewhere on the borderline between neurosis and psychosis.
By Christina K. Pierce5 years ago in Psyche
Streptococcal Infection and Obsessive Compulsive Disorders
For most preschoolers, going to the doctor’s office meant a general check-up, the occasional “I don’t want a shot” tantrum, and a few free stickers and a lollipop after the visit. When I went to the doctor’s office in preschool, it usually meant throat cultures, blood draws and another antibiotic prescription. At around age 4, I began contracting strep throat at least twice per year even with minimal exposure.. When I contracted my first streptococcal infection, I presented with normal symptoms--sore/irritated throat, nausea, and a fever. However, as I continued to contract this bacterial infection repeatedly, I began to show uncommon strep symptoms that presented more like the common cold. Due to this, it became increasingly difficult for my parents and caretakers to recognize the infection. It was perplexing for my family and doctors. They monitored my symptoms closely each time I became sick and I was tested multiple times to determine if I was a carrier for the streptococcal bacteria. However, even with the close monitoring of infections I developed, it was sometimes impossible to tell.
By Abigail Thayer5 years ago in Psyche
