Latest Stories

Most recently published stories in Psyche.

The Day I Killed Myself
The Day I Killed Myself On the morning of the day I killed myself, I awoke as I usually did – late, tired, and wishing I could just stay in bed all day. With that all too familiar weight creeping onto my chest, I slowly began battling my subconscious thoughts that all screamed at me to keep my eyes shut and block out the beeping of my alarm (the third in the last fifteen minutes), the beginning of my stressful and emotional version of a morning routine. By the fifth alarm, I realize the time, somehow a shock each day, and bolt from the covers. By the sixth, the one set to remind me I should be leaving, I’m dressed in clothes I pulled out of several piles on my floor, each article selected based on smell rather than appearance. The seventh alarm goes off as I struggle to find a second sock and throw my unwashed hair into a semi-acceptable bun before the eighth and final alarm blares. It tells me I’m going to need to call work because I’ll be late, again. My brothers have left for school, indicating the severity of my lateness, but my dad is still in the kitchen. He calls a goodbye to me as I rush past him, teeth unbrushed and meds ignored, to the door and leave with nine minutes to get to my weekly therapy appointment before work, a good thirty minutes away.
By Miranda Jaensch6 years ago in Psyche
Mental Illness Hits Home
My name is Susan. I grew up in the suburbs of Westchester County,NY. I attended public schools with my two siblings of my sister a year apart from me and my brother younger by four years. My first recollection of something not right with a family member was when my sister no longer attended public school with myself and brother.
By A Little Bit Of Everything6 years ago in Psyche
Teenage Drug Addiction
Before my mouth wrapped itself around the pipe that had the crystal methamphetamine (ice) in it, I was already hiding alcohol in my cupboard, taking pills, MDMA and smoking weed every day. From memory, I was sober maybe once or twice a week. I was 15. They say drinking and small drugs like weed are gateways to others and they aren’t wrong. It is a domino effect.
By Wyborn 6 years ago in Psyche
No! Anxiety is NOT Forever. Part 2
Welcome back! I hope part 1 of this article has helped you. They are simple tips, but very effective for a lot of people. We have to know that anxiety passes and we won't feel like this forever. So many people have told me that I have to learn how to cope with this feeling. Well...that's not a solution. That's giving up on searching for the real solution. We can rewire our brains, improve our health, and get to know our triggers. In doing so, we can attack anxiety instead of it attacking us! So, let's move onto the next few helpful tips.
By Jewelz 6 years ago in Psyche
my story, my life
Hi...abuse. What can i say its shit! Its changed my world, upside down and inside out. No one can understand what you've been through, how it felt and how it still makes you feel. I hated talking about it when people found out, no one knows what to say and they just look at you with this pitiful look in their eyes. Its not their fault abuse isn't a nice subject and almost hidden from the world. we do everything not to talk about it yet people tell you its okay to talk about it... am i the only one confused by all this. So instead of talking i'm going to write.
By No-one-important6 years ago in Psyche
Depression, the Secret We Share
Thankfully, my dedicated addiction to Pinterest has given me ample substance for helping both myself and those in need. If you haven't yet searched through TED Talks, you need to. I not only use them for my own knowledge and well being, I use them within my personal training and lifestyle coaching communities, and within my personal circles. Take a moment to check out this great post from Sarah Rose Coaching.
By Jillian Diane6 years ago in Psyche
Life After Suicide
Suicide has and always will be a part of life for us humans. Suicide can be prevented yes, to a degree but, humans are not super heroes and we don't have the power to save everyone. As much as we'd like to have that power, we don't. From the age of 10, I have been suicidal. When I was 16, I attempted to make that thought reality. I attempted to take my life, I woke up, I went to school that day. Obviously, the state I was in caused concern for a close friend who alerted the school. The only thing that sticks with me the most is that, my mother, did not notice that there was anything wrong with me. She did not take notice of my eyes, how pale I was and how I was talking. So I kept my head down and tried to go on with my day. After that, it took a long time through drug and alcohol addiction that I finally realised, I had to make a change if I wanted to find the feeling of wanting to live. So I did. I am still here.
By Wyborn 6 years ago in Psyche
Depression Sucks
People that have depression such as myself have our good days and our bad. Do we tell others? No, well I know I don't. I keep it to myself, I don't want others to see anything but my happy cheerful self. I don't want to speak the existence of the depression. I thought that maybe if I hide it good enough it would go away, but it doesn't.
By Sara Bevins6 years ago in Psyche
Insanity
Madness creeps up your spine. You never really expect it despite all the years it spent taking root in you. It uses its resources to grow and prosper like a well oiled machine until it doesn't.
By Caitlin Halladay6 years ago in Psyche
Sticks and Stones May Break Your Bones
Why is it we remember the insults more than the compliments? I don't know – something about that sort of sucks. Even when we might receive a dozen compliments over a short space of time and a single insult months prior – it's the insult that gels and stands above all else. And those few compliments? Damn – they're never enough to make us forget about that one rude remark.
By Jord Tury6 years ago in Psyche
Your My Insecurity
I have now found a new hobby and that is writing letters to parts of me that I struggle with. My mind and my thoughts are an endless battle. This battle originates from life experiences. I shouldn’t think that circumstances will continue to reoccur or if someone cheated me that means everyone else will. I should be strong enough to know I need to heal and not to drag anyone into my darkness. Everyone goes through trauma, heartbreak or loss in their life, if it starts to affect your wellbeing and relationship then working on them is vital.
By Chantelle C6 years ago in Psyche
Postpartum w/ PTSD
When I realized that I was miscarrying at 6 weeks, I found myself lost in a type of despair I wasn't familiar with. Not having a partner to rely on, only a handful of commitment-phobe lovers, I was forced to actually reach out for help. I called several friends for the first time in a long time. They were all wonderful and horrible in their own ways, but I was so relieved that I had people to call who actually picked up the phone, that it didn't really matter in the end what they said or didn't say. I do remember someone warned me there would be months of hormonal and physical recovery to 'look forward to'. As someone with PTSD this felt like a death sentence, for the struggle to find balance with an imbalanced mind/body is already too real - so real that I got fired from my last job due to complications of my experience of PTSD, and have been out of work for 4 months since, feeling like a failure and completely dejected, unable to literally apply myself to any other jobs or track down the paperwork to get on disability. If it weren't for my parents and their privilege, I'd most likely be homeless on the streets and attempting suicide right about now. I'm not joking or going for dramatic effect here - someone's brokenness can lead to some really terrible realities, and there is a very fine line around quality of life that we walk when we stop being able to ask for help and/or run out of resources.
By Tara Bloom6 years ago in Psyche