humor
A Dreaming of Hitting It Big Classic Art Meme Limerick
How does one become unexpectedly rich? Someone, maybe a rich relative who’s ass you’ve been kissing for years, dies and leaves you money? You might have a misguided sense of entitlement that this could happen. And imagine your disappointment when you discover that Aunt Lilly left a million bucks to an animal rescue shelter and all that you got was a $5 McDonald’s gift card. I am pretty sure that the way most people think they are going to become unexpectedly rich is by winning the lottery. Yes, someone has to win…but I am also pretty sure that there’s a better chance that you’ll grow wings and fly before you win the lottery. That said…you can’t win if you don’t play!
By Joel Kravitz The Limerick Guy12 months ago in Poets
Leader of Bloodless Coup Demands to Know Why Floor is Covered in Blood
Would be leader of a bloodless coup against the editorial staff at area newspaper the Local Examiner, Tim Stephens, demanded to know why the floor of the newsroom was covered in blood when he arrived to work Monday morning after his weekend off. Mr. Stephens, who is the leader of the Examiner's op-ed staff which includes himself plus two full time and one part time writer, pressed his staff for details of the blood soaked newsroom at their 9am Monday morning staff meeting. He reminded them all that they had each agreed to follow his plan for an upcoming coup against the paper's editors, and that a cornerstone of that plan was that it would be bloodless. Jane Mollerson, the most senior member of his team spoke first saying "Sorry Tim. We must have misunderstood you or did not catch the part about how it was supposed to be bloodless. Myself, Jimbo (writer Jimmie Smith), and the Marinator (intern Mary Lamb), decided to move ahead with the plan first thing this morning. First order of business was to line up the entire editorial staff, blindfold them, then shoot them each in the head one by one execution style as we read out loud the text of our new manifesto for the Examiner. Yes, it certainly made a bloody mess, but it definitely got our point across and we now control the newspaper at all levels. Other than the clean up job still needed, I'd say overall it was a big success. No fuss, no muss." Tim thanked Jane, Jimbo, and Mary for their service the past two years then turned and walked out of the newsroom head down, before heading to the local police station to turn himself in.
By Everyday Junglist12 months ago in Poets
