Your Inner Wounds Aren’t Demons—They’re Asking to Be Heard

We’ve all heard the phrase: “facing your demons.” Maybe you’ve even said it about yourself when dealing with painful memories, anxious thoughts, or shame spirals that sneak up on you in your quietest moments.

But what if we’ve been looking at it all wrong?

What if those “demons” you’re trying to fight… aren’t actually demons at all?
 What if they’re simply wounded parts of you that never got what they needed?

What if healing isn't about battling yourself into wholeness—but finally listening to the parts of you that have gone unheard for far too long?

Let’s talk about it.

Where Did This “Fight Mentality” Come From?

Many of us grew up believing that healing required toughness. We were conditioned to treat our emotional pain like an opponent: something to conquer, silence, or destroy.

We internalized phrases like:

• * “You have to battle your insecurities.”
• * “Don’t let fear win.”
• * “Kill your inner critic.”

And slowly, we started relating to our inner world like it was a war zone. Every doubt became a villain. Every emotional reaction felt like failure. Every tender part of us was something we needed to “fix.”

But here's the truth: you cannot shame yourself into healing.

You cannot reject the most vulnerable parts of you and expect to feel whole. You cannot bully your pain into disappearing.

Think of it like this: if a child came to you crying, would you yell at them to get over it?
 Of course not. You’d offer comfort. You’d create safety. You’d get down on their level and say, “I see you. I’m here. You’re safe now.”

Your inner wounds deserve that same compassion.

Your Wounds Are Not Your Enemies—They’re Your Messengers

What we call “triggers” are actually invitations.
They’re little flares from the subconscious asking you to pay attention.

That feeling of panic after a miscommunication? 
That shame that bubbles up after expressing your needs?
 That freeze response when you're trying to make a decision? All of those reactions are your nervous system’s way of trying to protect a version of you that once felt abandoned, unheard, or unsafe.

So no—they’re not demons.
They’re unhealed parts of you, still hoping that someone (you) will finally sit with them instead of trying to silence them. And when you make space to acknowledge them, rather than avoid them, everything changes.

How I Stopped Judging Myself and Started Listening Instead

I used to beat myself up constantly for feeling “too much.”
 Too sensitive.
Too emotional. 
Too reactive.
 Too insecure.

Especially in relationships—romantic and otherwise—I’d spiral anytime I felt unsure or unseen. And I’d respond to those spirals with self-judgment, not care. I thought the goal was to get rid of those feelings.

But over time, I started asking myself a better question:


“What if there’s nothing wrong with me?”

I realized that the intensity I felt wasn’t random—it was rooted in old wounds. Wounds from moments where I didn’t feel safe being vulnerable. Where I learned to protect myself through hyper-awareness or self-abandonment. And those younger versions of me weren’t trying to sabotage my healing.
They were asking for it.

The shift came when I stopped trying to “fix” myself and started offering presence instead of punishment.

So… How Do You Actually Start Healing?

I get it: hearing “just love yourself more” can sound like fluff. 
But real healing is not fluffy. It’s sacred. It’s gritty. It’s spiritual and somatic and soul-deep.

Here are a few ways I’ve learned to engage with my healing in a way that actually works:

• * Get curious instead of critical.
 Instead of thinking, “Ugh, why am I like this?”, try asking, “What is this part of me trying to show me?” Curiosity disarms shame.
• * Let your emotions have space. 
You don’t have to analyze everything. Sometimes you just need to cry. Or scream into a pillow. Or lie in silence. Let it move through you.
• * Speak to yourself like someone you deeply love.
 Would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself? If not, change the tone. You’re allowed to be gentle.
• * Create rituals that regulate your nervous system.
 Breathwork. Journaling. Yoga. Tarot. EFT. Walking barefoot in the grass. These practices don’t have to be complicated—they just have to be consistent.
• * Give your wounds new evidence. 
Every time you respond to yourself with kindness, you’re rewriting the old stories that said you weren’t worthy of care. That matters. A lot.

You Were Never Broken—You Were Just Waiting to Be Seen

Here’s the secret:
 Healing doesn’t mean never getting triggered again.
It means knowing what to do when the triggers show up.

It means being the loving, grounded presence that your younger self always needed.
It means stopping the internal war and starting a conversation instead.

You are not broken. You are not weak. You are not too much.
You are healing. You are remembering. You are reclaiming your wholeness.

And that? That’s holy work.

~*~

Want to keep this conversation going?


Let’s connect on Instagram: @schellingtongrin112
, where you can find tarot readings, inspirational posts, and more. You can also reach out to me on Instagram to book a reading or session with me if you’re ready to go deeper.
 I’m here for the messy. The magical. The in-between. And the you that’s becoming whole again.