Match My FREQ: Aligning Frequencies (And Freakiness 😉)

There’s something powerful about alignment—when things just click, when energy flows effortlessly, and when connections feel natural rather than forced. This is true in all areas of life, but especially when it comes to relationships.

Recently, my friends and I coined a term that perfectly captures what we’re looking for in a partner: someone who matches not just our “freak” but our “frequency”—our FREQ.

Because let’s be real: Relationships aren’t just about sexual compatibility (though, let’s not pretend that isn’t important too). They’re about finding someone who aligns with us on every level—emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and energetically. Someone who sees us, honors us, grows with us, and shares in the evolution of both our individuality and our connection.

But here’s the kicker: Before you can attract that kind of relationship, you have to ask yourself— Am I vibrating at the frequency I want to attract?

Recognizing When Your Frequency Is Off

I didn’t just wake up one day with this realization. It came from doing the deep, necessary inner work after walking away from a relationship that wasn’t just unhealthy—it was toxic.

• My self-expression—especially in intimacy—was boxed in by what he was comfortable with, leaving me unfulfilled, unseen, and ultimately, disconnected.

I was existing in a relationship that lacked passion, deep connection, and the kind of safe, reciprocal love that allows you to flourish. And the hardest part? I had allowed it.

But when I finally stepped back, I realized something powerful: I wasn’t operating at my highest frequency. And when you’re vibrating low—out of alignment with your true self—you will keep attracting relationships that reflect that misalignment.

The Perfect Combo: Freakiness & Frequency

So what does it really mean to find a partner who matches your FREQ? It means finding someone who isn’t just “good on paper” but who truly aligns with your soul. Someone who:

• Is secure in themselves— and doesn’t need to control or diminish you to feel powerful.
• Is down to evolve with you—because let’s be real, we are constantly growing, and a healthy relationship should support that growth.
• Meets you in deep intimacy—whether that’s passionate, uninhibited sex or small, everyday moments of connection like cooking together, cuddling, and simply being present.

Because real intimacy? It’s not just about sex. It’s about how you create a home together—not just in the physical sense, but in the way you intentionally build a foundation of trust, security, and deep, unconditional love.

A relationship that honors both individuality and unity. A space where you feel:

• Safe. Emotionally, physically, spiritually—a space where vulnerability is welcomed, not punished.
• Secure. Not just in loyalty or finances, but in the knowing that your partner chooses and values you, not out of obligation but out of desire.
• Provided for. And not just in a material sense. I’m talking about emotional, spiritual, and energetic reciprocity—pouring into each other, supporting each other, growing together.

This is the kind of relationship that goes beyond maintenance (texting, date nights, check-ins) and instead becomes a space of expansion. A partnership where you don’t just exist together—you thrive together.

How to Attract (or Build) a Relationship That Matches Your FREQ

So, whether you’re single and searching or already in a relationship, here are some key things to reflect on:

1. Ask yourself: Am I showing up at the frequency I want to attract? You don’t attract what you want—you attract what you are in alignment with. If you’re not operating from a place of self-worth, self-love, and authenticity, you might be settling for connections that don’t serve you.

2. Have the deep conversations early on. Forget the small talk—get into the real stuff. What are your values? Your intimacy needs? Your vision for life? The right person will welcome these discussions, not shy away from them.

3. Understand that independence and intimacy can (and should) coexist. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean losing yourself. It means maintaining your individuality while creating a space where both of you thrive.

• This might look like parallel play—where you’re in the same room but doing separate activities.
• It could also mean intentional solo time, whether that’s taking yourself on a date, pursuing hobbies, or making space for your own personal growth.

4. Don’t be afraid to check in. A relationship thrives on communication. A simple, “How am I showing up for you?” or “Is there anything I can do to make you feel more secure in our relationship?” can deepen connection in ways you wouldn’t believe.

5. Make space for both the freaky and the frequency. A great relationship is passionate, playful, deep, and intentional. Whether it’s spicing things up in the bedroom or making space for slow, mindful intimacy—it’s about showing up for each other fully.

Final Thoughts

If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s this:

• A relationship should be a place of alignment, not just attachment.
• You deserve a partner who matches your frequency—your energy, your values, your desires, your evolution.
• And yes—you deserve a partner who matches your freak too!

If they don’t? Maybe it’s time to change the channel.

Because the right person? They’ll see you, choose you, grow with you, and elevate you. And anything less than that? It’s just noise.

🖤 🫐 ❇️ 💫

Are you ready to match your FREQ?

Drop a comment below—let’s talk about it! Have you ever been in a relationship where your frequency felt off? Or have you found someone who truly aligns with you? Let’s share and grow together.

Until next time, keep vibing high, keep being your full, unapologetic self, and keep holding out for the love that sees, honors, and amplifies you.

💜 If you’d like to expand further, check out my podcast episode of the same name right here at Elaborations with SchellingtonGrin on Spotify! 💖