Work isn't working

For as long as I can remember, I haven't been happy with the way my life is going. My hope is that you read this and see yourself in this story. Not just that, mind you. I'd like to hopefully motivate you to make a change, the same as I am.

I've had to come to grips with a lot of things the past eight years. The one thing that doesn't change is that things change. The older you get, the more you leave behind, no one is exempt from that. Lastly, nothing in this life worth having comes easy.

When I was younger, I had all these big dreams that I was bound and determined to bring to life. I wanted to be a singer, a fighter and/or an actor. These dreams have been dashed over the years when I tried and failed miserably, several times at all of them.

I had my first job at 18 as an overnight stocker at a grocery store. Didn't even last a week. I wont bore you with my entire resume, just know that I'm on my 11th job now. For the longest time, I blamed everything and everyone for why I quit these jobs. First, it was the managers, then it was the customers.

While there may be truth to all of that, it was time to point the finger at the common denominator. Me. Think about it. If every job you've ever had or every relationship you've been in falls apart, it's time to re-examine what the problem might be.

When I was a teen, I had it in my head that I was going to be a rich and famous success. When things got tight financially, and I needed money quickly, that's when I got my first job. I was mad at the world (and mostly myself) because I couldn't accept that this was my life. How could I let this happen to me after all of the big dreams I had.

I couldn't get over the fact that I failed at everything I set out to do, that I let so many other dreams die before I even attempted them. Every time I quit a job, it was with the intention of going after these dreams. unfortunately, I never did.

That's when something hit me. I had delusions of potential that I never showed. That may sound harsh, but the truth is often ugly. That's when something else hit me harder than the first realization! I can still be a success, but not in those fields.

You see, I don't mind working, I just want it to be meaningful and amount to something. I'm far from lazy, I've always been good at manual labor. But I can't keep going this way. I can't keep breaking my back for a job that would replace me in a heart beat. I cant keep working for pennies on my bosses dollar, watching him drive a convertible while I have to decide if I want to have heat or food.

I can't keep earning a C.E.O more money while I'm still struggling to get by when I'm the one doing all of the work to make his great life possible. I refuse to keep being a passenger in my own life. We live as though time is unlimited, or like we have a spare life waiting for us and we don't!

Listen, I know I'm not special. Out of eight billion people in the world, what makes me think I'm better, or that my life is more significant than anyone else's? That's something my therapist taught me. A lot of people (myself included) can easily develop a "why me?" attitude when we feel like life is kicking the crap out of us.

However, instead of asking "why me", we should start asking ourselves, "why not me? What makes me think that I'm so special that this shouldn't have happened to me?" The beauty of this, is that we can also ask ourselves that same question when it comes to success!

So here I am, trying to make a go of it! I've always wanted to be a writer, so here I am! I've decided that it's time to stop procrastinating and just do it. There isn't anything to it but to do it. It's now or never.

And so, I ask you, don't you have a dream? We often give up when things seem too big to achieve. The thought of how much work goes into it or how hard it might be or even the sacrifices we make intimidate us. We often think that the hill is too much to climb, that we forget to look back at the mountains we've already over come.

It's my believe that everything happens for a reason and it's never too late until your dead. With that being said, I have one more question for you, my friend. You only live once, so what are you waiting for?