When Being Alone Is Better Than Being With the Wrong People

There are times in life when you feel stuck—uninspired, unmotivated, and drained of ambition. Social media tells you it's all on you, piling on the pressure. It encourages you to push past your struggles without addressing the root cause. But no matter how much you try to ignore it, your environment affects you. It’s not an excuse for your actions, but it does shape you—chemically, mentally, and physically.

Self-help advice isn’t entirely wrong: it is on you.

No, you can’t change the people around you. But you can change who you allow around you. Their behavior isn’t your responsibility. But the access you grant them—the permission you give them to treat you a certain way—that is on you.

You don’t need to be a psychologist to understand people. In fact, overanalyzing them can work against you, making you justify their actions based on their childhood, past traumas, or tough circumstances. But the truth is that everyone has struggles. Some harder than others, yes, but at the end of the day, who you become is your responsibility.

If you’re constantly drained by the people around you, it might be time to rethink who you allow into your life.

Signs It’s Better to Be Alone Than Surrounded by Toxic People:

1. Whenever you try to explain yourself and open up your feelings, it looks like a debate rather than communication.

Whenever you try to express yourself, it turns into a battle. The person listens only to defend themselves, not to understand you.

In "Before Sunset" there is this quote that I really love.

“I believe if there's any kind of God it wouldn't be in any of us, not you or me but just this little space in between. If there's any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed but who cares really? The answer must be in the attempt.”

Not any quote had touched my heart like this before. Is that the realest thing? Yes, not everyone looks at life from the same window. Not everyone understands the others fully. But the attempt—the willingness to try—is what matters.

If someone refuses to even attempt to understand you, they’re not your person.

2. Their bad behavior is the result of your "unjust" actions.

Toxic people will always find a way to shift blame.

“You didn’t do what I said, so of course I yelled at you.”

“You spent more time with our son, so of course I cheated.”

They justify their actions as a response to your supposed failures. But no matter what they tell you, their behavior is their responsibility.

3. You don’t want to share good news with them.

There will always be problems in your success. Your success, happiness, proud will be humiliated and belittled. So you just keep it to yourself.

You got a promotion. You’re moving to your dream country. You finally bought that car you’ve always wanted. But instead of feeling excited to tell them, you hesitate.

Because you know what’s coming.

“That job isn’t even that great.”

“That country is too rainy.”

“That car is a waste of money.”

They find ways to downplay your success, making you feel like your accomplishments don’t matter. Over time, you stop sharing. You stop trying. Because no matter what you do, they’ll make sure you feel small.

4. You don’t want to share bad news with them either.

If something bad happens—losing a job, a breakup, a failure—you brace yourself. Because their curiosity isn’t rooted in concern; it’s in the thrill of knowing every humiliating detail.

If someone thrives on your failures more than your successes, it’s time to cut access.

5. If they always are more focused on the problems, rather than solutions.

If this is you, I am sorry to break it to you, but no, this is not a sign of your high intellect. Internet says, that these people are "analytical". Because while stupid people can do something easily because they are unable to see the further complications and challenges, these analytical thinkers always see the risks. But unfortunately, they are not smart enough to find precautionary measures. They just loooove nagging. These people are not only ruining their lives but also yours too.

Because just because they can get hurt, they can face failure, they just ignore the whole beauty of a new challenge, they refuse to start that business, to go to that interview, to apply to that job, to talk to a person you like. This kind of people might seem less toxic than other types. But they are actually the worst, especially if they are your close ones, the ones you trust. Because unlike others, their words stick in the long run, even when they are not with you. And after years, you see that you have stayed at same place, not even trying to achieve your goals just because of a rat's voice behind your ears that said: You are not good enough. Yes, you have no failure, but no success either. If you may call this a life.

If you see yourself surrounded by one or more of these types, you know it is time to change. Find yourself new people, and learn to enjoy your own company.

And most importantly: never let the fear of loneliness make you tolerate disrespect.