To Change or Not to Change

Change is terrifying. But some days, it's the only way to survive. Philosophers have spent centuries searching for the meaning of life. In reality, we all do. In the stillness of the night, after darkness has fallen and everyone has gone to sleep, we all dive deep into our thoughts.

Who am I? Why was I created? How is it that everyone seems to know where they belong, what they were made for, who they will become? Everyone seems to know who they are, yet I feel lost within myself. Everyone knows which university they want to attend, which field they want to work in. By 21, they move abroad for a master’s degree, find a job on the side, buy a house in a few years, get married, and have children. Eastern Europeans or Asians might understand me better. Questioning oneself, falling into depression, experimenting, searching for different paths, considering dropping out of university to start that one startup, prioritizing oneself—these are luxuries of developed countries. Underdeveloped nations see the world through a different lens. For children born and raised there, the standards are higher. They must always be successful, always intelligent, always well-groomed. They must always study at top universities. They must work hard for a few years, climb the corporate ladder, project an image of a happy family, own a house and a car before 30, replicate their colleagues' lives, and consider a weekend hiking trip with office friends as their biggest adventure.

Of course, these standards—when not imposed with bad intentions—make some people happy. But for others, they are destructive. Because sometimes, this pre-drawn roadmap of happiness and success isn't the same for everyone. Because sometimes, like Nemo, ocean fish may find themselves trapped in an aquarium.

The aquarium is small, less dangerous, regularly cleaned, and provides daily food. Being an aquarium fish, living a problem-free, stress-free life, seems wonderful. I envy you, aquarium fish. You keep your head down and walk confidently along the path that others have paved for you. And you're always so happy. Your lives, your homes, your families all resemble one another. It's true—all happy families look alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. It's the same with people. All happy people are alike.

Good Luck if you're an ocean fish. No matter how much you try, you will never be happy. No matter how much you decorate your aquarium.

Just because a fish is small doesn’t mean it belongs in an aquarium. Some fish need to explore the seas. They don’t belong anywhere. They don’t like frames. That’s why ocean fish are always on alert, even in the calmest moments. Even in the most ordinary moments, they are in observation mode, watching everything around them.

That’s why, for some—not for everyone—change is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. But that doesn’t make change any easier. In fact, it makes it harder, more paralyzing. Should you follow the path everyone calls “ideal,” or take the uncertain road of your own? Sure, the conventional path won’t make you happy. But what if your own path turns out to be worse?

But if you never leave the aquarium, will you ever truly know what the ocean feels like?