healing
How to heal fully and properly.
Reclaiming Your Power Through Compassion
Alain De Botton writes, "The explanation of the origins of nastiness changes how we assess our opponent. No longer are they necessarily strong or impervious. We have not been able to punish them, but the universe has in a sense, and the clearest evidence for the sentence lies in the unhappiness that is powering their attacks. They have not gotten away with injuring us; their punishment lies in the pain they must be enduring in order to have such an urgent need to lash out. We, who have no wish to hurt, are in fact the stronger party; we, who have no wish to diminish others, are truly powerful. We can move from helpless victims to imaginative witnesses of justice."
By jaz valentino5 years ago in Motivation
Everything that you desire
Alzheimer's was taking the best of her. She had already had two strokes and now her words were difficult to find in her brain, so she held to the ones that came to her like the only thing of value left and she put in them all her heart. Yes, everything she felt was in those 5 little words that she repeated to me with increased intensity every time she saw me: "todo lo tú quieras" (everything that you desire) and she repeated them until there was no more breath: “Jarita, qué la vida te de todo lo que tú quieras, todo lo que tú quieras, todo lo que tú quieras, todo lo que tú quieras” (Jarita, I hope life gives you everything that you desire, everything that you desire, everything that you desire.) I can’t ever hear or pronounce those words anymore and not be inundated by her memories and her love for me. A love that I fall short of comprehending. That love still holds me today when life hasn’t given me necessarily all that I’ve wanted.
By Jara Rios Rodriguez5 years ago in Motivation
Mantra is to Affirmation
When I returned from India at the turn of 2017 into 2018 I was called to go see a hand reader. By visiting her I think it definitely shook up my life and my perception. A few months later I would end up moving to Rifle, which was a decision I could've hardly fathomed at the time. By moving there I was able play some music gigs in nearby Grand Junction, made a connection with a girl whom would then become a great friend into the present day and also this would cause me to probably put my money in on a loop pedal, which was a purchase which I haven't regretted and has surely added to the creative spark in the times where all creative sparks can go out. Apart from these external positive externalities, I also was left with learning about the power of numbers and specifically the belief that the Universe, "The Divine" "your higher source" is always looking to speak with you, but doesn't know how, therein comes the presence of numerology.
By Sound And The Messenger5 years ago in Motivation
Why do people bully?
A biography of Rachel’s High School Life. Rachel attended Elmgreen High School located in West Norwood, London, when she started school in 2012. Rachel was always the shy type, but she was a wonderful person, she would always donate to homeless people, help the elders with carrying their shopping or helping them up the stairs within her neighbourhood. She believed that helping people is good and that’s how her family raised her. To help those in need. Rachel liked to read books, paint and bake. Who doesn’t like a chocolate cake? One thing she did enjoy baking was a Rainbow Cake, with 6 different cake layers.
By Rachel5 years ago in Motivation
My Story
MY STORY BEGINS LIKE MOSTS, I WAS BORN, LOVED, SHOWN OFF, BELIEVED IN, APPRPECIATED, FULL OF POTENTIAL, BUT ALL OF THAT WAS SHORT LIVED. SOON AFTER I REMEMBER MOVING FROM PLACE TO PLACE, FROM VIRINIA, TO JAPAN, TO CALIFORNIA, THEN BACK TO VIRGINIA, THEN I STARTED 3RD GRADE. MY DAD WAS IN THE MILITARY WHICH EXPLAINS WHY WE MOVED SO MUCH, AND ALSO WHY HE WASNT AROUND MUCH WHEN I WAS GROWING UP. MY MOTHER DID HER BEST RAISING 2 BOYS AND A GIRL ON HER OWN FOR THE BETTER PART OF THE 20 YEARS MY DAD SPENT IN NAVY. I REMEMBER THINKING HE'D BE AROUND MORE AFTER HE RETIRED, BUT HE ENDED UP TAKING JOBS THAT WOULD KEEP HIM GONE UNTIL 2,3,OR 4 IN THE MORNING. ALTHOUGH IT MAY SEEM AS IF HE COULDNT HAVE HAD MUCH OF AN IMPACT ON MY LIFE, HE DID IN FACT TEACH ME SOME VERY VALUABLE LESSONS THAT I STILL KEEP WITH ME TO THIS DAY. ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BEING- MAKE THE BEST OUT OF THE TIME YOU ARE GIVEN, WHETHER IT BE 10 MINUTES OR TEN YEARS, IT'S UP TO YOU. HE MADE WE WERE NOT JUST SOME DUMB BLACK KIDS RUNNING THE STREETS AND GETTING INTO TROUBLE. HE ALWAYS MADE US ARTICULATE, HE WOULD PICK A PAGE IN THE DICTIONARY AND MAKE US READ IT THEN PICK A WORD ON THAT PAGE AND IF WE COULDNT TELL HIM THE DEFINITION, HE'D MAKE US READ IT AGAIN. I WILL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL TO HIM FOR THAT, HOWEVER, LIKE MOST KIDS, WE WEREN'T ALWAYS THE BEST LISTENERS, AND LIKE MOST PARENTS HE DID WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS THE BEST TO DICIPLINE US, AND WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS BEST IN MOST CASES INVOLED PHYSICAL REPROCUTIONS. SOMETIMES HIS HANDS, MAYBE A BELT, BUT MOST TIMES IT WAS WHATEVER WAS WITHING REACH, A FEW TIMES IT WAS A PING PONG PADDLE. MY MOTHER REALLY DIDNT HAVE TO DO MUCH OTHER THAN THREATEN US WITH TELLING OUR FATHER, UNTIL HER AIM GOT BETTER, THEN SHE WOULD JUST THROW THINGS AT US. ONCE I REACHED MIDDLE SCHOOL MY MOTHER BEGAN DOING LESS AND LESS AROUND THE HOUSE AND TREATED MY SIBLINGS AND I MORE LIKE EMPLOYEES RATHER THAN CHILDREN. I KNOW WE SUPPOSED TO DO CHORES AND WHAT NOT, BUT ARENT THE PARENTS SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING, I MEAN LITERALLY ANYTHING? ONCE I GOT A JOB- AT AGE 13- THEY BEGAN ASKING ME FOR MONEY, CONSTANTLY AND IT WAS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD IF I SAID NO. IT ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE THEY WERE BROKE BUT MY DAD WOULD ALWAYS HAVE A NEW PAIR OF SHOES AND MY MOM WAS ALWAYS GETTING HER HAIR DONE. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A PEOPLE PERSON FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEBER, IVE NEVER BEEN ONE TO SHY AWAY FROM A CONVERSATION, UNLESS IT CAME TO TALKING TO GIRLS. I JUST COULDNT GET ANY OF THEM TO LIKE ME OR WANT ME TO BE THIER BOYFRIEND, THEY ALWAYS SEEMED TO BE INTO MY FREINDS AND NOT ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED I COULD NEVER GET ANY OF THE GIRLS THAT I ACTUALLY WANTED, I WOULD ALWAYS END UP THEIR FRIEND OR BE TOLD THAT IM SUCH A NICE GUY OR GIRLS LIKE A GUY WITH MORE SELF CONFIDENCE. IT WAS IN MY HIGH SCHOOL YEARS THAT I REALLY GAVE UP ON BELEIVING IN MYSELF, I STOPPED TRYING TO GET THE GIRLS THAT I THOUGHT WERE ATTRACTIVE AND I BEGAN TO JUST SETTLE FOR WHOEVER GAVE ME ATTENTION, ALSO, JUST TO FIT IN I'D DATE WHATEVER GIRL WAS WILLING JUST SO I WOULDNT HAVE TO SAY THAT I WAS ALONE. I WAS NEVER A PRIORITY IN MY OWN LIFE AT THIS POINT, I TOLD MYSELF THAT AS LONG AS I WAS MAKING SOMEONE ELSE HAPPT THEN I WOULD BE HAPPY. I'D DATE A GIRL BECAUSE SOMEONE WOULD TELL ME SHE LIKED ME, DIDNT MATTER THAT IF SHE SAT ON MY LAP YOU COULDNT SEE ME UNDER HER, SHE WAS HAPPY. I PLAYED FOOTBALL TO MAKE MY DAD HAPPY. ID GO SHOPPING WITH MY FRIENDS AND LITERLLY BUY THE SAME EXACT CLOTHES AS THEM BECAUSE I FIGURED IF I LOOKED LIKE THEM THEY'D LIKE ME MORE AND MAYBE THEY'D TREAT ME THE WAY THAT I TREATED THEM, BUT THAT WAS SIMPLY NOT THE CASE, I WAS A PUSH-OVER, I WOULD ALWAYS PUT MYSELF BENEATH OTHERS BECAUSE MY HAPPINESS NEVER SEEMED TO MATTER, AND IT SEEMED LIKE IT NEVER WOULD. I BEGAN GETTING USED TO TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF, SO MUCH SO THAT ID STAND UP FOR THOSE WHO WERE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME WHEN SOMEONE WOULD TELL ME THAT THEY ARE TREATING MY LIKE SHIT. I JUST WANTED TO BE THE PERSON THAT SOMEONE ELSE REALLY TRUELY TRIED TO MAKE HAPPY, AND IT NEVER HAPPENED, UNTIL I TURNED 18. ON MY 18TH BIRTHDAY I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A RANDOM GIRL THAT I MET THE DAY BEFORE AT THE ARCADE. MY FRIENDS PARENTS WERE OUT OF TOWN SO I TOOK HER OVER TO HIS PLACE AND FUCKED HER ON HIS MOTHERS BED. 2 DAYS LATER I WAS WALKING HOME FROM A NIGHT OUT WITH A FRIEND OF MINE AND I BEGAN HAVING EXCRUTIATING PAIN IN MY DICK. I DECIDED TO TAKE A LOOK AND I WAS MORTIFIED, IT LOOKED AS IT THE TIP OF MY PENIS HAD BEEN TURNED INSIDE OUT, BUT I STILL HAD TO WALK THE REST OF THE WAY HOME. AS SOON AS I GOT HOME I WRAPPED IT IN TISSUE PAPER AND CONTINUED TO DO SO EVERYDAY FOR MONTHS. I WOULD USE SCOTCH TAPE TO KEEP IT ON. 3 MONTHS LATER ONE SUNDAY AFTERNOON AFTER CHURCH WE WENT OUT TO EAT AND I WENT TO THE RESTROOM AND MY FATHER CAME WITH ME. AS WE STOOD NEXT TO EACH OTHER AT THE URINAL HE NOTICED THE WHAT I LATER CALLED MY DICK CAP IN MY HAND AND ASKED ME WHAT IT WAS. I TOLD HIM IT WAS MY PUNISHMENT FROM GOD FOR HAVING PREMARITAL SEX, AND HE WAS PRETTY SURPRISED FOR QUITE A FEW REASONS. IT WAS LATER DETERMINED THAT I HAD BOTH GONEREA AND CLAMYDIA, AFTER THAT I DIDNT HAVE SEX FOR 2 YEARS. THE VERY NEXT GIRL I HAD SEX WITH WAS THE FIRST GIRL I SAID I LOVE YOU TO, SHE CHEATED ON ME THREE DAYS LATER AND THEN SHE GOT HERPES, I HAD ALREADY LEFT HER BY THE TIME SHE GOT HERPES, BUT I STILL DROVE HER TO HER APPOINTMENTS WHEN SHE'D HAVE AN OUTBREAK. THIS OF COURSE TURNED ME OFF TO SEX AND LOVE AT THE SAME TIME. I REMEMBER TELLING MY FATHER I DONT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS, AND HE HIT ME IN THE FACE AND SAID THATS WHAT LOVE IS, AND FROM WHAT I COULD TELL, HE WASNT WRONG, LOVE HURTS, SO I SAID FUCK LOVE, I DONT WANT IT. I BEGAN NEGLECTING MY OWN DESIRE TO FIND IT, I WOULD BOUNCE AROUND FROM JOB TO JOB WHICH LEAD TO ME MOVING IN AND OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE MULTIPLE TIMES, I COULDNT AFFORD A CAR OR MY OWN PLACE, BUT I COULD ALWAYS BUY A 40 OR A CHEAP BOTTLE ADN DRINK IT ON MY PARENTS DRIVEWAY BECAUSE THEY WOULDNT ALLOW ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE. I WOULD DRINK TO FEEL NUMB, ESCAPE FROM THE PAIN OF LONELINESS INSIDE ME. ID NEVER OPEN UP TO ANYONE ABOUT HOW I REALLY FELT, I WOULD JUST PUT ON A HAPPY FACE BECAUSE ALL ANYONE WANTED TO DO WAS GET FUCKED UP, SO GETTING FUCKED UP BECAME SOMETHING I WAS GOOD AT. OF COURSE THAT LED TO MULTIPLE DRUNK IN PUBLIC ARREST, BUT IT ALSO MADE ME FEEL WANTED. PEOPLE WOULD ALWAYS WANT TO HEAR MY STORIES ABOUT HOW MUCH I DRANK OR HOW MY NIGHT IN JAIL WENT, ID NEVER TELL THEM ABOUT THE PISS STAINED MATTRESS THAT ID SLEEP ON BECAUSE ID BE TO DRUNK TO GO TO THE RESTROOM, ID NEVER TELL THEM ABOUT HOW DISSAPPOINTED MY PARENTS WERE BECAUSE THEIR 24 YEAR OLD SON IS STILL LIVING IN THIER HOUSE WITH NO JOB, NO CAR, NO LICENSE, AND NO DESIRE TO BETTER HIMSELF. AT 25 I BEGAN WORKING AT NISSAN, EVERY PERSON THAT TRAINED ME, I TOOK THEIR JOB, I ROSE THROUGH THE RANKS EFFORTLESSLY. AFTER 3 YEARS THERE WAS ONLY 3 PEOPLE IN THE ENTIRE COMPANY ABOVE ME, AND ONE OF THEM WAS THE OWNER. IN 2013 I BEGAN DOING STANDUP COMEDY AND WITHOUT THE WORDS I LEARNED FROM MY FATHERS UNOTHEDOX DICIPLINE, AND MY MOTHERS UNWAVERING COMPASSION I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO SIT HERE AND SAY THAT THE LITTLE BOY WHO WAS BORN ON OCTOBER 13, 1984 IS LOVED, WORTHY OF BEING SHOWN OFF, BELIEVED IN, APPRECIATED, AND LIVING UP TO HIS POTENTIAL.
By Tyrell Shackleford5 years ago in Motivation
In the After
In the After For All the Trauma Survivors Out There Written By: Valerie Amante When someone goes through something so terrible, so completely and irrevocably horrible, it leaves behind a remnant. A permanent scar that is very hard to heal. You have to find a way to put yourself back together but it’s just not easy. You have to confront those demons within yourself. Because they had a long time to sink their claws into your subconscious. They’ve had lots of time to create the perfect misery for you each time you close your eyes and keep those ominous thoughts lingering for the rest of the day. Some days you feel like a husk of a person. Some days you don’t want to leave your house because you don’t want to be reminded of the past. Because there’s always some reminder—some trigger—lingering in the world. And you can’t really predict these flashbacks or stop the feelings they bring on. There’s no magic wand that will fix you or a magnificent pill that will heal your brokenness. There will be days that you question if there is any hope for your recovery. There will be many moments of doubt. There will be times that you just want to give up because the pain and fear is so intense, and you scream and cry in frustration. There will be moments where you feel like a burden to your family because they will see you fall and fall hard, and they will either support you or fail you. You have to come to terms with the fact that this will be the most difficult thing you will ever have to do and if the people in your life aren’t there to support you through each high and low, then you need to realize that you need to let them go. There will come a point where you can’t even remember what life was like before. There will just be the after. And then from that point on you will try to patch yourself up the best you can as you slowly suture each cut and soothe each abrasion. There will be times when you wish you were numb and there will also be times to the contrary where you will feel nothing at all and lose yourself in the darkness. There will be times when you feel more like a victim than a survivor and in those moments, you need to remind yourself that you’re still here—you’re still breathing. And even if that doesn’t sound like a lot, it is.
By Valerie Amante5 years ago in Motivation
Broken Dreams Can be Mended
Broken Dreams Can be Mended Growing up in the 1950s, my home life was far from ideal. I often found places to go, physically and mentally, as a way of finding some comfort and escaping the abuse. One of my escapes was writing poems and stories. I enjoyed sitting under our big oak tree in the front yard and writing of places far away from my dreaded reality.
By Sandie Lee Butler5 years ago in Motivation
Single Lady Notes
I stumbled upon Jennifer Mason’s singleladynotes Instagram page one evening while going through a breakup with my son’s father. She saved my life that night. Her raw and realness is what makes her so relatable. Her books are inspiring. Her online t-shirts are motivational. She was born and raised in Hillside, New Jersey and left to study business and marketing at North Carolina Central University. Jennifer is a social media influencer who touches the lives of many women daily and I am one of them. She is one of the most influential voices on social media right now. It would be a disservice to just say that she is just a certified medical clinical assistant, a coach, an entrepreneur, a sister, a daughter, and a friend. Jennifer takes on many roles and demonstrates to us women and people of color that we can break barriers and challenges in a world that tries to beat us down. She is an African American woman who demonstrates that we as women can rise from any circumstance. Phenomenally, Jennifer is every woman.
By Sascha Ealey5 years ago in Motivation
#RecoveryJourney: YEAR ONE
I’d like to preface this by saying that I have NEVER lied about the love I have in my heart for the people in that life who have made me the person I am. Every laugh, every tear drop, hug, kiss, smile, every single inside joke, or heartfelt text/call. Every single personal connection I have ever made with any one of you who might take the time to read this, those connections we truthful and genuine... I just wanted to make that clear before moving forward. The lies I lived within the masks I’ve worn were not about my connections with every single human I’ve ever met, those connections, in ALL truth, might very well be the only things that have kept me above ground.
By Daniel OMara5 years ago in Motivation
