I Need a Hero

This modern world we live in can be overwhelming.

What we are seeing on a global level and here in the US is devastating at times. The global pandemic, the sex-trafficking crisis, the mass shootings, the realities of the capitalistic patriarchal society with systemic racism, the social injustices, and people dying every day from senseless acts.

We need a hero. I need a hero.

What does one do when the weight and gravity of what we are collectively going through become too much?

This world is intense. I have looked for a savior, a hero, someone to swoop in and save me, save us.

In the past, when I’ve been feeling down, I would think of this scene from the Days of Our Lives soap opera. The romance between Bo and Hope in the ‘80s and into the ‘90s was legendary. I vividly remember this specific scene in 1990.

Towards the end of the episode, Hope is in danger and may die. She needs someone to save her. At this point, Bo hasn’t been on the show in 3 years.

The song “Holding out for a Hero” by Bonnie Tyler starts playing. You see a man riding his motorcycle in a black leather jacket and blue jeans with shoulder-length wavy dark hair blowing in the wind. Watching it, my heart started racing and I got very excited. Someone was coming to save Hope. I was wanting and wishing it to be Bo.

They didn’t show his face at first. The song plays on “I need a hero, I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night, He’s gotta be strong and he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight, I need a hero”.

I remember jumping up and down, chills pulsing through my body and I knew, knew it was Bo. The camera pans around and you see Bo, determined to get there in time. He’s going to save Hope.

Even writing this still gives me chills and a smile.

My 14-year-old self was in love. I remember thinking I needed a hero like that.

Throughout my adult life, when I’ve been down or the world has been too much, I’ve thought of that scene and Bo, the hero coming to save Hope. I often wondered if someone was ever going to come and save me.

As young girls and women, we are taught we need men to take care of us. To protect us, to love us, and above all else, to save us. Thanks, Patriarchy.

During my life, when I’ve been in that state of wondering if someone was coming to save me, I’ve often pondered this idea of needing a hero. The White Knight in shining armor to show up and save me.

Then I wondered, save me from what? From myself, my job, my station in life? Why do we need a man to take care of us, make us feel safe, or save us?

I finally realized, no one is coming to save me, nor did I need saving, per se. What I needed was already inside of me. I needed me.

As women, our society teaches us to outsource our power. To look to others, religion, men, government, celebrities, and social media influencers to give us what we need. Tell us how to live our lives.

We already have all the power we need. To save ourselves is only to remember who we are. Who we were before society, religion, the patriarchy, movies, friends, and social media told us who we should be.

I don’t need a hero. I am a hero. I am my own damn hero. And so are you.

But how? You may be asking yourself how to be your own hero. I know I did for years.

I can say that it starts with loving and accepting yourself. Being brutally honest and gentle with yourself by examining your habits, your thoughts, and how you live your life.

And how do you that? I will say, it takes work.

Work that can be exhausting, frustrating, scary, and at times excruciating.

Work that asks you to love yourself, be gentle with yourself, and genuinely care for yourself by putting yourself and your needs above all else. To unlearn all the programming instilled in you.

Sounds impossible, right? It’s not.

What’s on the other side of that work is true freedom. A true remembrance of who you are. A peacefulness and centeredness like no other.

Allowing yourself to go inward and unlearn all the programming instilled in you. Remembering your true essence will give you so much more in your life to give to others. It will give you the power that is already inside of you.

Doing this work is the best kind of hard work I have ever done. It is the best journey I've been on and the most rewarding. Shedding layers of myself that no longer serve me, discovering parts of me I had long forgotten, learning to love myself on a much deeper level, and growing into someone I am proud to be.

By becoming my own hero, I have unlocked so many more layers to who I am. More intimacy with myself. More confidence in myself and my abilities. I show up for this exhilarating life happy to be here.

This is only the beginning. As life goes on and I continue to do this work, I also unlock new layers of being my own hero. Becoming my own hero isn't a destination, but a journey that continues. A journey I am thrilled to be on and one that I hope other women take too.

5 WAYS TO BE YOUR OWN HERO:

I am not a licensed therapist in any form, but I can tell you I have done a lot of inner work to be my own hero.

Here are a few recommendations to get you started on your journey of remembrance and being your own hero.

1. Shadow work. “What you don’t own, own’s you” is a quote from the book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford. This is a great book to introduce you to shadow work if you aren’t already familiar with it.

Shadow work is essential to owning who you really are and unlearning how to play small. Shadow work will help you love all of you and understand yourself on the deepest levels.

I come back to this book time and time again to do the exercises at the end of the chapters. Shadow work is never ending and oh so liberating! The amount of light bulb moments I've gotten by doing this is priceless. There is so much healing and up leveling to be had in the darkness of the shadow.

2. Meditation. I ignored this advice for years. Everyone has heard they need to meditate, and not everyone is into it. I get it. Yet, I guarantee that the answers you are looking for are already inside of you.

If you commit to yourself and get quiet for 10 minutes a day, you will feel shifts and get answers. A longer time is preferred, but start small. Meditation has been proven over and over to help people in numerous ways.

Quieting the mind can be difficult, so start with guided meditations if you’ve never done it before. Once you are comfortable, commit to 5-10 minutes a day of sitting quietly and breathing. It will make a difference.

My mind loves to wonder and staying in meditation is sometimes difficult. I can say though, I have never, and I mean never, regretted a meditation.

These days, If I don't meditate, I notice I am not fully myself. It has been a game changer even with how difficult it was for me to get started. The clarity and messages that come to me are pure gold in my life.

3. Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work. If you are not familiar with him, do yourself a favor and familiarize yourself. He takes a lot of the “woo woo” spiritual stuff out there and breaks it down scientifically.

It is deeply fascinating work. His books, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself and Becoming Supernatural, will change your life. He’s got a mountain of stuff on YouTube, his website, blog, and other books. Have fun going down that rabbit hole.

The greatest thing I love about going deep into his work is how he can explain it all through his years of scientific research and studies. This analytical mind of mine needs to break things down and understand the mechanics of things. His work will literally change your life. Thousands, if not millions of people have healed themselves through his work.

4. Connecting to your Intuition. Every single one of us is intuitive and has intuitive/psychic gifts. Meditation is one way to connect. If you aren’t familiar with, or are unsure about your intuition, I suggest looking up Natalie Miles’ work and her book You Are Intuitive, Trust Your Truth, Take Back Your Power.

Connecting to your Intuition is such a powerful gift. Again, this is already inside of you. You were born inherently worthy of all you desire. Your Intuition is the gateway to getting them.

Natalie's work and the sessions I've done with her have been so eye opening and down right awe inspiring. Cultivating my gifts and connecting back to my intuitive gifts is life changing.

5. The Holistic Psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera. She is a psychologist and recently published her book How To Do The Work. If the others above do not resonate with you or if you only take one thing from this article, I hope it is her and her work.

I have not read her book yet but I have been following her for a couple of years now and she has been a big part of my healing process. Her Instagram is a treasure chest of healing work and references.

I do her future self-journal every day and it has been a big part of me becoming my own hero.

These are a few things that have helped me on my healing journey.

A journey I am happy to be on because there is no white knight. No one is coming to save me, and that’s ok. I don’t want anyone to save me anymore.

I am my own best friend, my biggest champion, and most important, my own hero.

The more of us that wake up to this, remember who we are, and step fully into our power, the more we change the world for the better.

I’m sure you’ve heard the adage “hurt people hurt people.”

We see this playing out in the collective daily. The more we take responsibility for our happiness and become our own heroes, the more we live from the heart. From a place of compassion, love, joy, and happiness.

The more people living that way, the better the world we live in. So, the question is, are you ready to change the world and be your own hero?

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