Sisters

Sarah was annoyed. Again. Sitting up against her favorite tree with her bare feet in the grass in the large courtyard at her college, she took a deep breath and started reading again. She knew she needed to focus. Tired of so many distractions and frustrated by her noisy environment, she tried to go inward. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath from deep in her belly, and imagined her sanctuary.

A pretend forest with a gentle waterfall, verdant greens everywhere, and a small pool of water to wade in. A warm breeze, birds singing, a comfortable patch of grass to lay in and take in the absolute pure beauty of her imagined paradise. She could see it so clearly in her mind’s eye. Sarah took another deep breath and smiled, she was in love with this paradise. This was her happy place and where she went when she needed a mental reset.

Sarah continued breathing deeply. While in her mind, she dipped her toes in the lukewarm water. The water was clear, and she could see the rocks, smooth from the mild current and water they sat in, below her feet. She continued to walk on the rocks going in a little deeper with each carefree step.

The rocks didn’t hurt her feet at all. She was waist-deep now. As she listened to the birds sing, the waterfall gently crashing into the pool of water, she heard someone call out her name.

“Sarah!” she heard. She chuckled.

Who had found her, she wondered? Who else knew of this place?

“Sarah!” she heard again.

It was a girl’s voice. A little girl, but she wasn’t sure how old. She looked around and suddenly stopped.

Wait. It couldn’t be, could it?

It was her twin sister. Only her twin sister Amy died when they were 8 years old.

At 22, Sarah thought of her sister every day. In fact, Amy is the reason she’s in medical school and desperately trying to study.

“Sarah, come and find me.” Amy giggled.

In this place, her paradise, Sarah felt nothing but peace, love, and joy. And now a happy surprise. She didn’t hesitate to engage with Amy.

“Oh, I’m going to find you!” she hollered playfully.

“No, you won’t!” Amy giggled.

Hearing the sound of her voice made Sarah’s heart want to leap out of her chest with joy.

“Amy!” Sarah called out. “I’m coming to find you!”

She could hear Amy giggling behind a moss-covered rock. She tiptoed over to peek around and couldn’t believe her eyes. There was her twin sister, 8 years old, happy, healthy, and so full of life. How could this be, she thought. Tears of joy streamed down Sarah’s face.

“Oh, Amy!” she yelled and hugged the little girl tightly. Amy hugged her back just as hard. Sarah was dumbfounded as it all felt so real.

“How is this happening?” she wondered out loud. Amy said simply, “because you needed me.”

Sarah stared at Amy. It was like looking at a picture of herself, except Amy was one of a kind. She was so lively, funny, and such a ham when they were little. They shared everything, of course. But even as a small child, Sarah was always a bit reserved, quiet, didn’t make a fuss, and always did what she was told.

Amy was different. In fact, she was the exact opposite. Bouncing off the walls, making jokes, entertaining their family, and always making their parents and older brother laugh.

“Because I needed you?” Sarah asked in disbelief. “Well yeah, I’ve needed you every day since… “she trailed off.

Amy put her hand on Sarah’s and looked her in the eye. “Since I died?” She asked quietly. “It’s ok, Sarah. I’m ok. I’m here to tell you that I’m ok. And so are you. I can’t tell you everything, but I can tell you that what happened to me was supposed to happen. I’m where I’m supposed to be, and so are you. You are doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. I’m always with you. You need to breathe, Sarah. You need to breathe and give yourself a break. You have an incredible life to live. I’m here to remind you that you are supposed to live your life, have fun, enjoy yourself. Fall in love, make love.”

“What?!” Sarah said in shock as she looked at her 8-year-old sister.

Amy laughed. “I may be here as my 8-year-old self that you remember, but I have the wisdom of many lives. So do you. And this life is meant to be lived. To be happy. I want you to remember who you are. Don’t worry. I am always with you, and when it’s your time to come to this side and join me, I’ll be there too. Until then, you can talk to me whenever you want, but you have to promise me something.”

“What’s that?” Sarah asked, wiping tears from her face.

“Promise me you’ll be happy. Find your happiness. You will change many lives for the better, but it won’t mean much if you aren’t happy. So, promise me you’ll find your happiness and be happy. Promise me!” Amy looked Sarah directly in the eyes & Sarah met her gaze. In an instant, she felt a deep peace and joy permeate her entire being.

“I promise,” Sarah whispered back at Amy.

Amy smiled slowly and stood up. Her smile turned mischievous, and she giggled. Sarah was confused for a moment. Amy said, “I bet you can’t catch me,” and ran into the forest trees.

“Amy!” Sarah yelled and woke up.

Sarah, confused, looked around only to finder herself back to where she was, in her noisy environment. But before she could feel annoyed or frustrated again, that feeling of peace and joy flooded her again, and she smiled to herself. She heard Amy’s voice in her head, “you promised,” and Sarah’s heart fluttered. She smiled a huge ear-to-ear smile this time and said, “yes, Amy, I promise.”

“Wow. Someone’s in a good mood. What’s got you smiling so big?” Josh walked up with a big smile on his face.

Her heart fluttered again, gazing up at her crush, and she decided to take a chance at living.

“I saw you coming,” she said, and smiled up at Josh.