When You Are A King

He is a king, he can do anything he wants, he can have anything he wants.

Not only that, he has magic in his fingers, and he is selfish and spiteful.

If he wants girl, she becomes his, but he would never kiss a girl but he likes being able to take what he wants. If he takes a dislike to someone that he sees is popular with others he gives them hooves and a pig's nose and makes them wet themselves so that others laugh at them with him.

He sits on a throne of solid gold and people do what he wants because they know what he can do to them if they don't do exactly what he wants.

They have seen him make people turn to dust or burst into flame, he is a King but also a "Dies Irae". He loves sitting on his throne, wearing his crown, being waited on, eating burgers with fries washed down with cream soda, his favourite drink. Someone once made fun of him for that so he transformed them into a soda bottle.

He sleeps in a four poster bed often till noon, and always has a full English breakfast brought to him, which he devours like a real porker, except because he is the king he is, he never puts on weight and his body is perfectly toned for a fiften year old.

No one ever questions him, whatever he does, and when he tells someone to do it, it is done.

He decided it would be funny to turn all teachers into rubber ducks, which shocked the schoolchildren when it happened, but they all knew why it had happened and said nothing. The king had decided it would be, and therefore it was.

He turned the river to jelly just for a laugh and everyone laughed with the king even though it meant the river became useless. No one dared say anything and eventually he got bored and turned it back, and then blamed a trio of courtiers for what had happened and put their heads on backwards to make their life more difficult.

Hi si a most spiteful King but he enjoys being able to do anything he wants without the fear or recrimination.

He clicked his fingers and the whole of the court was naked and he laughed and guffawed like a clown. The court didn't know whether to laugh, cry or leave. Many tried to hide or cover themselves with anything they could find. The King kept laughing and eventually the court did too, they knew what might happen if they didn't.

Some days he would make people so fat they couldn't move and berate them for eating too much, even though it was all his own doing.

Sometimes he wondered how he had been so lucky to have got here and then decided not to bother himself with such trivialities.

Then BANG, something hit him on the back of the head.

Chemistry Teacher: "Singleton, you fell asleep again, wake up!!"

Singleton was dazed, he'd been dreaming again, he looked at the chemistry teacher who was covered in orange dust. The class were laughing, but he didn't know whether it was at him or the teacher.

Singleton: "What happened sir?"

Chemistry Teacher: "The test tube exploded, covered me in this, but I'm putting you on detention for falling asleep in my lesson again, it doesn't happen in any other lessons"

Singleton: "Can you do it again sir?"

The class exploded once again in laughter and Singleton joined in even though he was going to be on detention.