Satirical
Free Market Man Returns. Top Story - March 2025.
Listen to the audio version on Spotify (starts at 6:05): (Available on all major platforms—full list) *** Fresh from his battle with the Bureaucracy Brothers, Free Market Man patrols the skies over America, the shining city built on a hill of U.S. dollars (and a few dead laborers).
By Stephen A. Roddewig12 months ago in Humor
Rat City
It had been an unusually warm summer, all summers seemed like that now. The rat trouble started when the garbage men went on strike, causing the whole city to overflow with garbage, rotten food sitting on benches in the sun and bags of trash outside, creating a stench no one could escape. First, the seagulls came swooping in, thicker and more aggressive than ever. Then, the rats came as the Bible once foretold.
By Dark Constellations12 months ago in Humor
My Favorite Bottle
When I was six or seven years old, my mother, father, sister, brother and our neighbours went on a memorable trip. It was the first time I had witnessed a waterfall in real life, and I was left in wonder. It was so beautiful that (in my child brain) it was as if clouds were raining from the blue sky overhead. The waterfall was named Bopath Falls, and it was a place I would never forget.
By Rohitha Lanka12 months ago in Humor
Ghost of Wittgenstein Worries That Donald Trump's Existence Invalidates a Foundational Concept of Logical Analysis
The ghost of what many consider the greatest philosopher of the modern age, Ludwig Wittgenstein, appeared this morning outside his family estate of Haus Wittgenstein (also known as the Stonborough House and the Wittgenstein House) on the Kundmannagasse in Vienna, Austria. He appeared to be deep in thought and in great distress. Several onlookers who got too close received verbal tongue lashings from the great philosopher which caused them to break down in tears and run home to their mothers seeking comfort. Those who were able to approach at a respectable distance could hear him muttering to himself. Reportedly he was mostly speaking to about the current president of the United States, Donald Trump. He was worried that the existence of Trump has called into to question a foundational concept of logical analysis. Said the author of two of the greatest works on the philosophy of logic, language, and the mind ever written, Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus and Philosophical Investigations, “It has been accepted as the case since the beginnings of logical analysis and certainly with the advent of formal logic that those things which are nonsense can have no truth value. They can be neither true nor false. Yet, Donald Trump seems to regularly utter words in a certain order within our shared language that routinely violate what we all believed was an unbreakable rule. He somehow manages to say things which are both nonsensical, yet also false at the same time. Even more worrying is his seeming ability to break this rule with his actions which also manage to make no sense (ie. be nonsense) and yet somehow also be false at the same time. I understand this second concept may be difficult for those of you with limited intellectual capabilities, which frankly is basically all of you, to understand, and I will not be wasting my time explaining it to you, but suffice to say it is correct and you are a fool for questioning it.
By Everyday Junglist12 months ago in Humor
To Blurb or Not to Blurb
From the dust jacket of this week's bestseller: One of the greatest novels of the past year, the author must be commended for his approach to the epic story of a boy, a girl and a sandwich during the Great War! - P. P. Simoleon, The Picayune Gazette
By Kendall Defoe 12 months ago in Humor
The Great Avocado Uprising
Norman Blinksworth just wanted an avocado. That was all. A single, ripe avocado something that, in theory, should have been an uneventful purchase. But of course, Norman lived in a universe that had long abandoned logic in favour of chaos, and so this would become the day that the produce section finally snapped.
By The INFORMER12 months ago in Humor
The Push of Fate
A woman standing behind a successful man, is always a hand who pushes him. It was a fine sunny afternoon and a group of tourists, who were determined to see some of the local flora and fauna from the riverside, found themselves at a crocodile farm. The farm was on the outskirts of a small town and was notorious for having one of the most fearsome and impressive collections of crocodiles in the region.
By Rohitha Lanka12 months ago in Humor
The Art of the Fowl. Runner-Up in Absurdist Awakening Challenge.
Chuck yawned in perfect sync with the buffering sun. Another day, another bit of grain. He rolled out of bed. Lethargic, he shuffled to the fridge. Empty. He sighed. The grocery store it was then. He hated shopping more than most things in the world but the recent glitch in the Zon-am algorithm had left orders scrambled again. Bacon replaced by potato chips, cheese with chalk and once, a screwdriver substituting a cucumber.
By River and Celia in Underland about a year ago in Humor
The Grocery Store Conspiracy: When Bananas Plot Against You
The Day My Groceries Turned Against Me Have you ever had a routine trip to the grocery store turn into a full-blown existential crisis? I have. It all started on a perfectly normal Tuesday when I reached for a loaf of bread, only to hear it whisper, "Are you sure about that?" What followed was an odyssey involving telepathic produce, a cashier with a PhD in conspiracy theories, and a rogue shopping cart determined to alter my destiny.
By Alain SUPPINIabout a year ago in Humor
