Ghost of Wittgenstein Worries That Donald Trump's Existence Invalidates a Foundational Concept of Logical Analysis

The ghost of what many consider the greatest philosopher of the modern age, Ludwig Wittgenstein, appeared this morning outside his family estate of Haus Wittgenstein (also known as the Stonborough House and the Wittgenstein House) on the Kundmannagasse in Vienna, Austria. He appeared to be deep in thought and in great distress. Several onlookers who got too close received verbal tongue lashings from the great philosopher which caused them to break down in tears and run home to their mothers seeking comfort. Those who were able to approach at a respectable distance could hear him muttering to himself. Reportedly he was mostly speaking to about the current president of the United States, Donald Trump. He was worried that the existence of Trump has called into to question a foundational concept of logical analysis. Said the author of two of the greatest works on the philosophy of logic, language, and the mind ever written, Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus and Philosophical Investigations, “It has been accepted as the case since the beginnings of logical analysis and certainly with the advent of formal logic that those things which are nonsense can have no truth value. They can be neither true nor false. Yet, Donald Trump seems to regularly utter words in a certain order within our shared language that routinely violate what we all believed was an unbreakable rule. He somehow manages to say things which are both nonsensical, yet also false at the same time. Even more worrying is his seeming ability to break this rule with his actions which also manage to make no sense (ie. be nonsense) and yet somehow also be false at the same time. I understand this second concept may be difficult for those of you with limited intellectual capabilities, which frankly is basically all of you, to understand, and I will not be wasting my time explaining it to you, but suffice to say it is correct and you are a fool for questioning it.

As to the first contention that he breaks a rule of logic with his words, it is perhaps a clue that never once has he said a thing which is nonsensical and also true, so it could be that this is but some undiscovered quirk of language that only resides within his brain, which obviously works very differently from our own. However that would seem to violate my own private language argument now wouldn’t it, or would it? I can’t necessarily say since I am not 100% certain what I said in that particular argument though I know for a fact it was very, very intelligent and that whatever anyone else says about it is wrong and that they are fools for thinking whatever it is they think about it. Let us consider an example where Trump attempts to clarify his position by arguing that he was in fact against the Iraq war from day one even though he was on record as being a huge supporter. Trump says [And one of your compatriots said, you know, whether it was before or right after, Trump was, because if you read this article, there’s no doubt. But if somebody, and I’ll ask the press, if somebody would call up Sean Hannity, this was before the war started. Hannity, this was before the war started. He and I used to have arguments about the war. I said it’s a terrible and a stupid thing.] If anyone is writing this down please put that quotation in brackets to indicate that it is nonsense as is the convention in logical analysis. It is obvious to any sane human person that the statement is clearly nonsense. It has no known grammatical structure and is patently absurd on its face, and yet, at the same time it is also demonstrably false, as he was in fact on record as being a supporter of the Iraq War.

As to my second contention that he violates a rule of logic with his actions I point you to his recent appointment of his son in law, Jared Kushner, to make what he called the ultimate deal to end the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Mr. Kushner is a man of extremely limited intellectual capabilities and no special knowledge or experience in matters of state or with the complexities of middle east politics. He appears to have only one notable attribute and that is of having the good fortune of having a father in law who happens to be president of the United States. Beyond that I would rank his skills, abilities, and talents just at or below the average of the fourth through sixth graders in the rural Austrian communities where I instructed for six years. And yet Trump has entrusted this man with ending a conflict whose modern aspect has raged for over a hundred years now. Obviously this is nonsense, and yet it is also demonstrably false because I say it is for reasons that are much too complex for your tiny mind to comprehend. Go ask your mother or father to explain it to you if you must, I will not. Goodbye now I must return to heaven and lecture God on my many issues with the architecture of Austria and the world in general.

Author’s postscript: I like to think the great man would find this particular article very amusing and not subject me to a verbal tongue lashing of the highest order for the many subtle and not so subtle jabs I take at him here only some of which were probably deserved. Know that I do it out of the greatest respect for a man I consider perhaps the greatest thinker to have ever lived and whose writings have inspired me in the past and even today in more ways than I could ever hope to express in this language or any other. Thank you sir. The planet misses you.