What I Learned From Interviewing My Exes

Summer 2025 - The summer that changed it all.

I had a mental breakdown and decided to start writing again. My first order of business was to sit down with a bunch of my exes. I asked them a number of questions about our past.

Here are 10 things I learned throughout my experience. Enjoy.

#1 - No matter how the relationship ended - they will still try to have sex with you. Or definitely try to kiss you. How typical.

#2 - Unfortunately, men will put a claim on you based solely on the fact that they liked you. Because them having feelings for you - somehow means you dated. I had to remind people (sadly, more than a few) that simply isn't true.

#3 - Our bodies are constantly protecting us from things. My body has been telling me for years that so many of these men were wrong for me. I should have listened. When things didn’t feel right, I held on tighter from fear of being alone. I know better now.

#4 - You both can be the problem. As they say, it takes two to tango. It is never solely one person’s fault for the demise of a relationship. It took me a while to realize that.

#5 - People I thought would never speak to me ever again were the first to respond to my request. I knew that for some, of it was genuine curiosity. I know that for others, they just loved the attention. They loved that I even thought about them again. That they were included in the project. It made them feel special.

#6 - Apologies are extremely important. An apology can heal something in people they didn’t know they needed. Also, they’re kind of nice to hear. Even if it's a decade later.

# 7 - Sometimes - the past should just remain in the past. Opening the doors to conversations can be healing, but it can also be confusing. It’s easy to fall back into old patterns with people you were once so comfortable with. That doesn’t mean that you should.

#8 - I know people don't typically agree with this - but I think you can be friends with your exes. Call me crazy, but sometimes it’s easier to be friends with someone who’s already been inside you (hehe). You won’t wonder how it would feel to kiss them, because you did it already. And now you can both carry on in your friendship.

#9 - It's easy to confuse lust with love. I did it so many times. It kept me around for longer than I should have, and vice versa. I thought I was in love with people I just actually only really loved having sex with. Classic mix up.

#10 - Some people do not change. Or even worse, they just don't care to. Some people are happy to continue their lives carrying the hurt in their heart, which in turn causes pain to others. Reveling in their flaws instead of trying to repair the ones that don't serve them. Hurt people hurt people, ya know?

That made me kind of sad.

This was definitely an experience I will never forget. It helped me put the nail in the coffin on the ghosts of my past.

It allowed me to send each one on their way with a goodbye, best wishes, and a little less heaviness on my heart.

Thank you for coming along with me on this journey.

Xoxo,

Gail

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