humor

"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "

The Scarf
It was nearing prom season in my last year of high school, I had made some friends but had yet to meet someone I’d want to date. I’d go visit my Mom at her new place every so often, she told me that I really should be thinking about getting a date for prom. Even when I told her that most of my friend group didn’t have dates, her advice stood firm that going sans date wasn’t fun, I’d regret it, and they’d all be sorry, trust me! So I went and hunted down a boyfriend, through one of my good school friends. Was I attracted to him? Not in the least. Did I now get to tell my Mom I had a prom date? Sure did. He was quite patient with me, given that I was vastly and deeply emotionally constipated especially at that time. I liked the company and he was kind enough, along with agreeing to be my prom date. It was nice having a friend to sleep next to, key word “friend.”I don’t think he caught on to the red flags that I clearly brought to the table, the main one being that I held my breath when we made out. There was just so much saliva and I could not understand why, but I had nothing to compare it to so for a while I assumed that this is just what all kissing must be like. I think something I believed to be a major drawback was how he ate popcorn, it ruined all of our relationship potential in my mind.
By Camille Cote6 years ago in Humans
The Bitter Taste of Deceit
The Bitter Taste of Deceit “Are you sure you can cook an authentic teishoku meal?” Maggie looked at me with a doubtful expression.
By Phillip Merrill6 years ago in Humans
The SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN way to attract a partner. Top Story - May 2020.
Like many in my generation, I am single. Alone, all alone with nobody to love, hold, argue with, take cute pictures with or go on holiday with.
By Hyper Homo6 years ago in Humans
Dreadlock Disaster
I used to frequent this dive bar in my 20’s that has unsurprisingly been shut down in recent years. On any given night one could never be sure what to expect, especially regarding the patrons. Ranging from rowdy underaged maritime boys to full fledged biker gang members, it was usually a gamble. Regardless of the haphazard crowd, it was always a good time. I attribute this to the fact that it offered karaoke almost every single night. There’s nothing more unifying than collectively butchering some of history’s greatest hits, all while throwing back a pint.
By Reptile Dysfunction 6 years ago in Humans
'What the hell did I just do?'
Excuse the cliche, but I wonder how much in gold I'd be worth if I had a nugget for every cock-up, or imagined cock-up, I'd managed through my life without having died yet. I would estimate enough to not end up where I bloody started nearly twenty years later. The most irritating of cliches or memes or inspirational quotes is 'life is about the journey, not the destination'. I beg to differ, because if I ended up where I started nearly twenty years ago, what does it mean for me? I'm Benjamin sodding Button? What... sucking on a tit before I end up being hurled back into the womb? I'll try not to be negative - it could, after all, be something to look forward to.
By Dawn Sandells6 years ago in Humans
Ladies Play A Dangerous Game, Get Unexpected Results!
Which would YOU pick and why? This is the question that Twitter user, Oloni asked her female fans to ask their current partners.
By Jide Okonjo6 years ago in Humans
Gone Fishing. Catfishing, that is.
Everyone has undoubtedly heard the age old phrase “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”. If that’s true then you can call me Stevie Wonder. Sorry Gandhi, but I’m going to have to side with Muhammad Ali on this one, “you kill my dog, you better hide your cat”. As it turns out, revenge is a dish best served with margaritas and a side of catfish.
By Reptile Dysfunction 6 years ago in Humans
A blind date tale...
Picture it the year is 2015 . I was newly single and extremely broken hearted. So a friend at work said “Inf I’m gonna set you up on a blind date “. At first I was like “nope “. She said “listen you’re going out “. She then proceeded to take my picture and send it to the guy . Along with my number .He immediately calls me and set up a date for that night . I’m thinking in my head ohhhh shit naw ! This is way to fast . You know what YOLO!! I’m a go. He asked me where I wanted to link up . I told him Friday’s because I had two friends that worked there . I get off work and go home to get cute . I get in my ride throw on my aziatic album and I roll out . So I made it to Friday’s shortly after he text me he was there and told me where his car was . At this point I can’t wait to get to his car to see who I’m going on this date with. So I walk up to his driver side he had on a jay-z fitted , nice smile , and his cologne smelled nice through the window . I was like ok ok friend !!!! She hooked a sistah up ! He then proceeds to get out the car . Boom he drops ! I’m like oh shit down goes Frazier in my head . So I immediately go to help him . He yelled at me “I’M GOOD I DIDN’T FALL DON’T HELP ME . MY LEG IS JUST MESSED UP . After being yelled at I said to him “Shit I thought ya black ass fell I was trying to help you “ ! Yes yes I rolled my eyes. Now I’m thinking in my head he could’ve told me he was disabled I would’ve still gone on the date. I’m not like that ! Seriouly though you can’t just spring a short leg on people!You gotta tell people what’s good . Anyway after I caught a tude he grabbed my hand and said sorry for yelling . He said “Let’s go in and have a fun night beautiful “. I said ok . We go inside my friend was working the bar . She saw him limpin and immediately went in the back . She texted me “Bitch is he crippled “? I said “mind ya business he is”! So then we grab a table . We ordered and got a drink . When his food comes he ate like the beast from beauty and the beast. I just kept handing him napkins cause it was food everywhere ! I thinking to myself this mf is an animal eating like this ! People were just staring ! So after that was done . We talked and talked. Convo was going good . So all of a sudden this fool starts waving and at air like he was shewing something away . I said “ Um are you alright “? This man looked me in my eyes and said “I was telling my homies they could leave now”.“ I had them here in case you were crazy “. Y’all it was five big ass men ! At that point I let him know it was getting late and I have work in the am .I was just done . So he walks me to my car and wanted to give me a hug . I gave him a hug he started rocking me back and forth .He was like “don’t leave me yet let’s chill and look at the stars “. I said ok I didn’t want to be an asshole . So we talked a little while longer . It was getting late at that point so I told him I really should go home . I did have to get up the next day . He said “ok but before you go”... Then he pulled me close to him like the matrix and lick kissed my nose mouth area ! I said “Boy what the hell is going on here unhand meeee “ ! I left just tired with nose full of spit smell . I never ever went on a blind date again !
By Fini6 years ago in Humans
I Dated Sam Heughan
It started when I saw the posts from Sam Heughan addressing bullying. I felt bad for him and could empathize. So, I took to Instagram and sent him a brief note of support. Then I got bored. What follows is me in my boredom. (All is in fun and meant solely for entertainment. I hope you enjoy this because I know he will never see it).
By Traci E. Langston6 years ago in Humans
All of the Men Who Have Wronged Me
I guess you could say I'm a pretty average college student. I'm 21 years old, I'm a music major and I love being in college. One thing that a lot of people find unusual however, is the fact that I have never had an official "boyfriend". As a result, I've had quite a few very strange run-ins so far in my life and they're really quite funny, so I figured I'd share them all with you.
By Rosalynd6 years ago in Humans
Playing Games In Bed Has Its Benefits
You won’t believe what happened to me now. I got such a fright last night, I nearly had a heart attack. When it was all over, I thought to myself, I must share this with others.
By Conny Manero6 years ago in Humans
Wheelchair=Excuse?
Before we get right into the story, I think it's best to let everyone know that I am a wheelchair user courtesy of former friends who thought I should "loosen up" (it involved garbage, a large fall, a butterfly net, and pigeons) and this story takes place while I was still a wheelchair user. In my junior year of high school, I was taking a gym class for the sake of earning credits. Before, my anxiety was my strength and my weakness, but one I could no longer use my legs, well, it's pretty much the same, but I had to be helped back into the wheelchair after falling out during a panic attack. On the plus side, I shared the class with the stunning and strong thespian, Roman Prince, with whom I was in a relationship with.
By Monique Star6 years ago in Humans