I Dated Sam Heughan

It started when I saw the posts from Sam Heughan addressing bullying. I felt bad for him and could empathize. So, I took to Instagram and sent him a brief note of support. Then I got bored. What follows is me in my boredom. (All is in fun and meant solely for entertainment. I hope you enjoy this because I know he will never see it).

Saturday 1:47am

Stay strong. This world is full of idiots and unfortunately, they are often the most vocal. I have dealt with bullies (granted, on a smaller scale I am sure) my entire life. It says much more about them and their character than you.

Saturday 2:23pm

I'm just going to put this here for you (or whoever manages this account for you) to read. I don't want anything from you. I do want to say I am sorry for all that you have gone through. I've worked in the industry for a lot of years and I have seen how some people outside of it act. And I understand bullying and harassment. Bullied as a child and a teen. Teased as a college student and sexually harassed as an adult. I know it can take its toll. For me I gave up my dream job. My career goal that I had worked years to reach, I walked away from because I could not stand his torment any longer. I know how tiring it is. Please take this time to rest and regroup. Seek support if needed from friends or professionals. Our industry is magic. The quiet of a theatre before they open the house. The sheer size of a sound stage. One of my favorite places is a backlot. Remember your passion for your craft.

I am sure there is more I could say but not now. I am a real person. Nice to meet you. My name is Traci. I am hear if you need to talk. No judgement, no requests, just an ear of someone who has an idea of how hard it is.

Sunday 11:49pm

Ok, so I made my Instagram about all my writings. No secrets. I am an open book (please excuse the bad pun).

Yesterday 9:06 PM

Oh my, I just saw it typed "hear" for "here." Really, I know better. I am very smart.

11:51 AM

So, I realize that you never read these. Most likely just hit delete on all messages from anyone you don't know personally. Which brings me to the conclusion that I could write anything and have no worries because you will never ever see it. What total freedom! No embarrassment or judgement. (dances small jig in living room).

I tend to do odd things when I am really bored. During this stay at home time, maybe you are it. Oh, that sounded wrong. Not that you or odd. Or I would "do" you. (Although I am sure many women have offered just that). I meant writing these. I shouldn't be bored. I am a writer and have several books I need to finish. Maybe you are a procrastination tool. Great! Now I've called you a tool. I really am not making a good impression.

I did think about sending you the worst possible photo of me as a sign of trust. To build trust that I am normal and also not one of those crazed fans that want your body. Personally, I like the body I already have. I admire your talent. If I were a casting agent, I would consider you for a live action "Beauty and the Beast". Maybe a remake of the old black and white French version (the best in my opinion).

Well, my cats need to be fed and I really need to go write. I have people waiting for my next erotic novella. Oh, did I tell you, I write smutty novels. And children's books. I am a complex person. Take care.

(I meant Casting Director not agent. Wow I say some stupid things sometimes.)

April 23, 2020 3:29 am

What do you need to know of me? I am an American. With that I am a blend of backgrounds. I am several things – including Native American. This does give me a slightly exotic look. Not that my looks should matter at all. I am involved in both my cultures. I was raised with a lot of my Native American relatives and learned skills from them.

April 23, 2020 11:01 am

Ugh. I said exotic when I should have said ethnic. Exotic makes me sound mysterious and beautiful when in fact I am average and plain. Ok, enough about looks since they don't matter here.

Thursday 6:24pm

I hope your isolation is going well. Isolating alone is tough for some. I have my cats with me so I suppose I am not truly alone. Some people seem to be having a very rough time being told to stay in their nice big homes with their families and yards and everything. I think those people need to examine why they aren't at peace with their own company. Peace within your own mind creates peace in other areas of your life.

I sound like a Buddhist. It is a good philosophy. Someone once said the three topics to avoid are sex politics and religion. I’ve hit on sex and religion so far. I think I will stay away from politics.

Thursday 8:39pm

Last thought for the night. Names. I am actually named after the number three in Spanish. I am the third child. Your name is nice. I always say a man has a sexy name if it can be said in an exhale or a sigh. Yours does that well.

Friday 8:11pm

Friday night isn't that different these days. One day blends into the next. I hope you are well and happy. Smile, laugh and find joy in the little things. Lots of time to think when you are alone. Maybe too much. Maybe not enough.

Friday 10:50pm

Still learning how this whole Instagram thing works. Hit the video chat icon. It said you were unable to join video chat at this time. Good thing! I'm already dressed for bed and the t-shirt I am wearing would have made that chat inappropriate to say the least. It's good to sleep in but indecent to video chat in. I won't hit that icon again.

Saturday 9:11pm

Stiff muscle and a headache all day. Man, I do miss massages. Guess I will make due with hot showers.

I think I am getting bored with this. I may stop soon. Then you will be out of luck because you missed the fantastic opportunity to meet such an amazing persona s myself.

Sunday 5:03pm

So, your posts on Instagram and Twitter are identical. This leads me to believe that an assistant is doing all you posting.

Sunday 10:25pm

And I'm kind of bored with them. Not athletic enough to do you fitness challenges, like but not obsessed with Outlander and I don't drink alcohol. That's pretty much your posting repertoire. I'm amazing. Really sorry you haven't read any of these.

I studied theatre, worked in film and television, write children's books and erotica, have a great outlook on life and am a loyal and devoted friend. This is what you are missing out on. My birthday is a week after yours. I may use that as my cut off. A kind word from you would make my birthday nice.

Tuesday 8:43pm

I'm guessing you don't have pets. Being away from home for so long would make it hard to be separated from furry family members.

Yesterday 6:30 PM

I will wish you happy birthday today so I can beat the rush of tomorrow. I hope you find a way to make it special even in isolation. I know 40 is a kind of big one. Why not find ways to celebrate all year?

I celebrate my birthday for all of May. It relieves the pressure to have one perfect day. Small celebrations throughout the month make it fun as well. Doing that also takes the pressure off the actual day so if your birthday isn’t all you want it to be, you can celebrate all month. It evens out. I won't tell you which birthday this is, just know I am older than you if you are stuck on things like chronological age.

Yesterday 9:52 PM

I don't think it is going to work out between us for the following reasons:

1. I am an American. You are a Brit.

2. You are an actor.

3. I am much older than you.

4. You are an actor.

5. Our schedules are vastly different.

6. You are an actor.

(Sorry, dated an actor once. Always “on” and you never know if the words are his or from a script.)

7:56 PM

Extremely safe Twitter interview tonight. Got a plug in for MPC, your scotch and Clanlands. Then stayed safely in Outlander promo zone. The most personal was about your heritage. I was pretty bored and was watching the clock.

10:27 PM

Well, my dear Sam, this is it. I am pulling the plug on "us". Yes, I am sad with this decision but I know it is for the best. Be glad for what we almost had. I will think fondly of you always.

You don’t talk to me. Your interests are narrow as I saw earlier this evening. My interests are vast and I constantly strive to grow. Please don’t be sad. Or if you are, use it in your acting. Be Method.

If you found humor in what I wrote, please tip me $1-5. If you are a fan of Sam Heughan’s tip me $10. If you want me to concentrate on other things and leave the possibility open of him dating someone other than me – tip me $20.