humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
The Rake, The Spinster....And The Merlot?
Dearest Bartholomew, When Ekaterina first suggested that we court each other, I was hesitant. I thought to myself “what could I possibly want with a rake? And why does my supposed best “friend” want to take part in my undoing?”. Sure, at 23 I am no longer as marketable as the young girls of 18, but it is not my fault that all of the season’s most eligible bachelors are old, fat, short, and looking for their third wife. Mind you, after the first two have died in “riding accidents”. It seems that the day was fast approaching where I either had to accept my fate as a twenty dachshund owning spinster or succumb to Ekaterina’s peer pressure. That Ekaterina, so much for a lady as well. Half of polite society knows that she is a notorious gambler who cannot resist tempting fate, and the other half know that she only sets out on these “matchmaking” endeavors because her own marriage is a sham.
By Alicia Springer5 years ago in Humans
At Last, a Permanent Solution to Shifting Time Zone Chaos
I'm tired of adjusting my clocks every year, giving me jet lag without even the pleasure of going anywhere. Personally, I'd have enjoyed Daylight Savings Time all year long. When we shift back in the fall, it gets dark much too "early". You stop working and it's practically dark. My response to all of this discomfort and confusion is to create my own time zone, which will never, ever change. I'm calling it the "Midwest Central Tom Zone". As a magnanimous compromise between "normal" Eastern Standard Time and Daylight Savings Time (which now takes up most of the year anyway), I am setting all of my clocks an half an hour earlier, so I will always be right in between "standard" EST and DST. It will be less of a shift for most people entering my time zone than it currently is to enter any other time zone, or to have their clocks shifted annually. When setting appointments please remember that I am now, and will remain, on Midwest Central Tom Time (MCT), adjusting your appointment calendar accordingly.
By Mars Halek5 years ago in Humans
Life's a bowl of lemons
Sometimes life is like a bowl of lemons. I don't exactly know what that means, people just tend to say things like that. Is it yellow and pulpy? I've never gotten that impression at all. I don't even know what that would mean. Life can be funny sometimes. That's something else people say, usually right before they go into a monologue about an ironic thing that happened to them, or how they ended up in a cubicle at a job they expected to hate after that football injury ended their college career and they're suddenly reintroduced to the person they took for granted in high school, so that a romance can bud. I don't really have one of those stories prepared but I'll see what I can do. *ahem*
By alan pierce5 years ago in Humans
Day after day I seem to push against the clouds..
If the old saying is true, then laughter really is the best medicine. I remember scrolling through YouTube’s suggested videos and seeing a video titled “when you are getting robbed, but you are broke”. This one-minute video by youtuber LongBeachGriffy, was only one of three videos posted to his brand-new YouTube channel. However, this video alone garnered well over 2 million views in a short time. The video itself was basic, one actor playing two parts all while simultaneously being the camera man as well. Therein lies the simplistic beauty to this and many of his other videos. He did not need a large crew of multiple people or fancy camera shots. His talent was making the audience connect and relate to him in a way that makes the laughter genuine. I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself. You know the kind of laughter I am talking about; it was the kind of laughter that made you laugh until you started to cry.
By Ember skyy5 years ago in Humans
They're Taking It!
THEY’RE TAKING IT! A Funny Car Chase of a Different Kind Since I had a rental car for the weekend, I decided to drive around to various car dealerships to look at cars I could possibly purchase. After all, I had not owned a vehicle in almost seven years. I combed through several different car flyers looking for dealerships with decent cars, as well as affordable prices. I found three located within less than a mile from each other; and less than 6 miles from the mall which I planned to shop at briefly before heading back home.
By S Nicole Callahan5 years ago in Humans
Writing something - is it a book? Probably not. If it were I’d call it “I Can’t Sleep”... but it’s probably nothing.
I can’t sleep. I know if I were to leave my body right this minute, float up to the ceiling and look back down at my body, I’d see my potato shaped lump under the blanket, my slack, half-moon face, and bed-head messy pink hair. But if I could see how I feel inside my head, like a shattered plate missing pieces so that it’s impossible to be put back whole, I would not look comfortable or at peace like a potato. If I could see my body representing that, I’m sure I would see my limbs impossibly askew, like a soft-bodied rag doll. Or like the fully ‘poseable‘ Barbie, in the pose she found herself in after the terrible accident she had in her convertible Malibu Corvette. I’ll never forget it, she drank too much and Ken was being a total dick that night. So she jumped in her sexy pink car, tearing off down the slick road, losing control, tires screaming, the car flipping over, and slamming into the metal barrier. She flew right over the windshield and landed in the road, her limbs all akimbo, her pretty pink pump with the silky pink polka-dot bow laying a few feet away, and her Italian silk kerchief snatched away by the covetous wind. Tragic.
By Heather Donald5 years ago in Humans
The Story of Scoot
Over the course of my life, many folks have asked me where I got the name, “Scoot"/"Scooter.” It is a funny story honestly, and I wanted to explain it for all my friends and folks who take the time to read these writings. To put it simply, I got it from my dad when I was a newborn.
By H. L. "Scooter" Ward, Jr.5 years ago in Humans
