CJ Francis
Bio
Writer. Slytherin. Trying to find his place in the world as someone who can bring fun and entertainment to people.
Stories (21)
Filter by community
Moving Out. Content Warning.
“It’s this cheap because of the vibrations.” “What do you mean?” Daisy said. “People believe that the building vibrates in such a way that it drives some people crazy,” the person showing her around said. “Not everyone. Just some. Like how you can hear some frequencies and others don’t”
By CJ Francisabout a year ago in Horror
Trapeze
The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window. William waved the dull flame off the splintered match in his hand, making his way back towards the shaky table. Every time Sophie removed her bottle of beer the uneven legs would fight for balance.
By CJ Francis4 years ago in Horror
I tried to read a Murakami book while tired and ended up reading one from a parallel dimension
If you could befriend a concept then I am BFFs with sleep. What the evolutionary reason sleep exists literally no-one knows for sure, but whatever reason it might be...Sleep...Sleep is good.
By CJ Francis4 years ago in Humans
I couldn't be part of my university's Comedy Society
The other day I was giving someone advice about going to uni, or at least, some of the things not to do. In hindsight I feel I could have crushed it a bit harder, but there's always the whole being depressedddddd thing. One of the things I definitely recommended was to check out the sports and societies. I didn't go to many and the ones I did were so categorically me I both found my people and felt isolated from others.
By CJ Francis4 years ago in Confessions
I couldn't be Paul Sheldon (The author from Stephen King's Misery)
The other week I got surgery on my toe. A year back I had fucked up my big toe dropping a weight on it. It wasn't even in the gym, it was one I had bought to lift at home. And it wasn't even while I was working out, it was while I was moving out of my old place.
By CJ Francis4 years ago in Longevity
I couldn't be a primary school nurse
The other week I had First Aid Training. It had somehow been three years since I last did it (I guess First Aid certificate validity dates don't extend because of pandemics), but this time it felt much more rewarding and helpful.
By CJ Francis4 years ago in Longevity
I couldn't be a vampire
Okay, fuck it, hear me out here. I'm nocturnal. The perks of having a video game addiction and working a job where hours are all over the place, but mainly skewed towards the evening. As much of a night owl as I can be - and hell, I've pushed the barriers of messing with circadian rhythms further than I would have liked over time - I couldn't be a vampire. A night bat if you will.
By CJ Francis4 years ago in Humans
Sharkade
Lights flickered in and out of life at the old Branwich Pier. An often-overlooked seaside destination, Branwich prided itself for unusually flat terrain and ocean views that reached out to infinity. Its beach wasn’t exactly award-winning and the water wasn’t that magical transparent blue some beaches impossibly had, but those who lived there and those who dared to go there knew there was no other place on the coast like it.
By CJ Francis4 years ago in Fiction
I couldn't be a car-making robot
Car commercials are always interesting. They're not like perfume commercials. Perfume commercials live in their own contained universes where nothing makes sense, other than the sense of smell. Car commercials are rooted in our reality. That is the difference. Commercials for vehicles generally have to show you what cars can do. They can go fast, they can help you park, they can connect to your phone, they can maybe save a life. Sometimes in car commercials, they show us where they come from, and I don't know how difficult this is to sell to you, but...
By CJ Francis4 years ago in Longevity
I couldn't be a delivery driver (specifically for my flat)
I live in a black hole. That is a belief I suppose is held by every delivery driver that comes to my flat. It's not even down to the fact that I do not have a working intercom system, frankly I feel that I am in a black hole that can only be approached one way, where every other path seems to be an optical illusion.
By CJ Francis4 years ago in Humans
