Microfiction
Faux Pas
In the grand hall of the Tudor court, stood the noble Earl of Oxford, the fourteenth such: Edward de Vere. Nervously did he stand amongst the courtiers, for this day was of great import; he was to present himself before the illustrious Queen Elizabeth I. His heart did pound, his palms became sweaty. His Knees grew weak, his arms heavy.
By L.C. Schäfer2 years ago in Fiction
Fish are So Gross
I am not going to mince words, fish are gross. By fish I mean any non-microbial (and some microbial) living thing that comes from the water, salt or fresh that humans currently or have ever eaten. My great aversion to fish began in six grade health class when I first learned that a symptom of many venereal diseases was a “fishy odor.” I don’t know about you, but I for one have no desire to eat anything that has any association with venereal disease. Which brings me to the topic of crabs. Another venereal disease and seafood “delicacy’ that some human beings believe is fit for consumption and others curse as their worst one night stand ever. Contrary to popular opinion lobsters are not actually (genetically) all that closely related to cockroaches. However, like all invertebrates they share a common ancestor, they also share one other trait, they are gross. Shrimp are also extremely gross, seaweed is disgusting and gross, and the less said about crayfish the better, particularly if what is said is with their even less appealing redneck nickname crawfish or crawdads. Yuck. Ewww. Nasty. Ugh. I hate fish. You might think that given my hatred of fish I would be happy to sea them dead or dying. You would be wrong, as the only thing worse than the smell of a living fish is how they smell when they are dead. I think I am going to be sick now. Damn fish.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Fiction
A Day in the Life of a Cavalry Black
I stood at attention, my sleek black coat gleaming in the sun. It's hard for a horse to simply stand (even harder when we are surrounded by fresh delectable-smelling food,) but we are trained to it. My nostrils flared to the scent of fresh meat. I watched one of the dumb beasts step closer and closer. Tourists, with their ignorance and arrogance, make the easiest prey, and their stupidity makes them tasty.
By L.C. Schäfer2 years ago in Fiction
