Laws of Eating

Let's roll back to 2019, when I was ejected out of my job of three years and landed on my ass at the front desk of a luxury car dealership. I'd finally finessed an employer that let me dress up nice and look important, but I had to be there six days a week, every week. Mind you, this was ONE of TWO jobs. Without realizing it, I'd signed up to a life that only offered one morning and one afternoon for free time per week—So little an amount that I often had to choose between a session of exercise or a visit to the barber. (Check out my other story The Barber Trials on Vocal! That era was the catalyst of it all!)

For six months of my life, I was spending less hours in the gym and more hours at a desk with a jar of Jolly Ranchers and Dum-Dums. When the day came for me to get fired, I was blindsided completely but not fazed in the slightest. I promise you; it didn't sting one bit. It felt like freedom! However, seeing the weight that I'd gained in my face definitely pissed me off.

I swear, I was trying to snap back as vengeance. I refused to keep looking chubby in my selfies. I cut so many things out of my regular diet, that my body would have NO CHOICE but to drop pounds. As time went by, I lost the weight and got the smallest I'd been in a long time, but what shocked me the most was all the other rewards. I was more creative, I was more focused, and things even started smelling and tasting better for me. I had become more interested in cooking, dining, and cuisine altogether. My ideas were bolder! I felt younger! Life started to seem like a high school summer. That was when it really hit me: The way we treat our bodies literally affects our joy as a whole. It affects how we experience every single day. I didn't want to relinquish this good feeling. I didn't want to take my breakthrough for granted. I had to protect these new and powerful revelations by setting them in stone. And thus—a stack of notes, a print, and a lamination later—my Laws of Eating was born. ('Laws of Eating', December 2020, by JeRon Baker)

Preface: Never forget the importance of being disciplined when it comes to how and what you eat, for it is key in standing the test of time. Eating laws exist to encourage masterful moderation. This form of discipline serves to restore and protect youthful liveliness; to amplify the joy of hard-earned leisure; to maintain your physique; and to improve comfort, function, and focus by lightening the load on your body.

(1) Eating Is An Experience. Therefore, you have to make an effort to ensure that the experience is worthwhile. That means keeping in mind the atmosphere and the ergonomic elements. That also includes cleanliness; Eating neatly makes for a pleasant and comfortable meal.

(2) Eat Only When Situated. Picking at food before you sit down to eat will only diminish your appetite and can cause you to lose track of how much you're consuming. It's like sabotage if you wished to savor your meal.

(3) Swallow Bites Completely. If your mouth isn't completely empty, don't put anything else in it. This will help you savor your meal and also prevent you from over-eating; something that is more likely to happen when you eat quickly. Pace yourself always. Never chug anything and never scarf anything down. Consume carefully

(4) Predetermine Your Portions. It pays to be deliberate and definitive when you eat (seek definitions if you must); Decide how much of something is enough to eat and stick to just that! Try to decide with respect to the serving sizes on nutrition labels. Even looking at your helpings in their physical form may help you understand just how much is about to go in your body and bloodstream.

(5) Eat to Satisfaction, Not to Completion. If you feel done, be done! You are not obligated to finish everything in front of you. If you find yourself wasting food, then let that be a lesson on how much is appropriate to eat in one sitting. Gluttony is not godly or classy. Just sayin'.

(6) Wait 10 to 15 Minutes Between Helpings. Before you dare to eat something else beyond the conclusion of a meal, give your meal time to process. You'll be surprised at how your desire to have something else wanes away.

(7) Reserve Sweets For Occasions. Added Sugar is unnecessary for the body and can do a lot of damage. You do yourself a big service by abstaining from it. Desserts and sugary snacks are not meant for everyday eating, so regard them as appropriate exclusively for holidays, celebrations, and rewards. (We'll talk more about "rewards" later.)

(8) Embrace Periods of "Nonconsumption." Give your gut a break! Respect your body's clockwork and give it the opportunity to manage your loads. It's important to have time away from chewing, swallowing, and processing food. There doesn't always need to be something touching your lips.

(9) Don't Disrupt An Imminent Meal. Refrain from snacking or eating when you're anticipating something else. If you reserve your appetite for whatever is to come, you'll intensify your palate. Plus, you'll have more room to go crazy. Maximize your experience!

(10) Don't Eat B4 You Drink; Don't Drink B4 You Eat. And definitely don't eat or drink too close to bedtime. I have to be honest, my heart has changed a little bit when it comes to this particular law. I still like to wait 30 or 40 minutes after a meal before opening a drink, but at most, I can only say that it saves me from physical discomfort. In general, it's best not to do too much if you wanna' keep your activity up.

(11) Listen To Your Body, Not Your Buds. (Tastebuds, that is.) Your stomach tells you more than enough. If you don't have an undoubtable desire to eat, then it's best to not. Even the type of food that you desire is dictated by your body, so take heed to your ever-changing appetite.

(12) Embrace The Art of Adjustment. Be sure to make appropriate changes to your diet in accordance with your new body goals; the amount of activity in your current life; the banquet that you got invited to late last night; or other inconstant circumstances that could arise. Even the idea of HOW much is TOO much can change in itself. Adaptability is key in maintaining your physique, because each day (or each era) can come with different demands.

(13) Conclude With A Clean Mouth. Once you reach the end of what you've planned to eat, make it your business to either brush your teeth, chew a piece of gum, or have a mint. A fresh, clean mouth not only compliments a gentleman, but also discourages him from further eating. Consider a clean mouth a symbol of conclusion!

(14) REJECT A Sense of Reward. In the past, longstanding healthy diets have allowed me to feel like I've earned the grace to binge on junk for just a little. That is a crippling belief! Allowing yourself to get comfortable is a gateway to regression and will place obstacles in the path of longevity. Don't allow two weeks, three weeks, or four weeks of healthy eating to make you feel too liberated. Flip that two weeks into two months, or even two years, and watch how your body rewards YOU!

Last but not least, (15) Respect Your Laws. Adopt these ideas as unbreakable codes. If you neglect the rules you put in place, you will not reap their benefits. Protect your vessel and protect your presentation. Through self control, you will conquer the test of time.

This collection of principles is not only a useful reference, but a souvenir from one of the most valuable eras of my twenties. About a third of these laws are difficult for me not to break, but neither of them have ever been abandoned. Above all else, this timeless document is a reminder that I am in control and demonstrates a future of feeling good in my skin. At the end of the day, "you are what you eat", so sprinkle discipline on every dish. Sometimes you gotta' fine dine to be fine.