Tracie Sperling
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With Every Step I take
I am feeling good overall. Trying to have patience and take things one step at a time. Learning new habits is a work in progress. Real life is what I live for to stick it to my music. Lost in confusion, dancing through the ruins. Trying to survive but this is all I need. Tired of running in circles, facing a strife. Stumbling through life, facing battles of failure. I want to survive in this giant life. These days are hard so I get what I deserve. I want to get past the price on my own and then it must be fixed.And with all the stress we have mixed the more things I have missed. I want to remember how it felt to be alive. This weight on my shoulders feels like a suture. I appreciate the support I have around me because without family I would be up a creek without a paddle. Sometimes, I don’t feel the ground underneath my feet. Every twist and turn leaves me trapped in my mind. I am tangled in choices. I am caught in a loop where hope struggles to flee. Past mistakes are water under the bridge. Frustration shadows dreams, leaving hope hopelessly fixed. I need to stay positive and move forward with my goals. I'm trying to stay focused on what I could be. I’m trying to get a break. I gotta get away from the fakes and not be taken advantage of. I need to know who stands on the wrong side of my list. I want to know who is right in this world of lies. I need to get it together and do whatever it takes. I want to change my ways. Every chance that fades, I need to focus on my future. I need to focus on my strength not the negative. I need to know that I can do this my own way before I risk. This new life that we abuse is what we like and we could learn to get fixed. I want to get rid of all the guilt that has been mixed. I want to forget this pain that has been caused and leave it all behind. I want to let go of what has been done and made to mend. I want to see the world in a different light. I want to live in truth and find new meaning in my life. I want to believe that things will turn out fine if I take one step at a time. Watching dreams dissolve like sand, slipping through the grime. I wish I could rewind and have the strength to move forward. Every twist and turn feels like I’m just moving backward. They say there are no answers. But I will solve these questions and I will find the answers. This is the only life I know. Whats done is done and I will find my way. I was never meant to be alone. Yet here I stand, lost in shadows of tomorrow. Chasing echoes of hope, drowning in the sorrow. I cry myself to sleep. In this maze of doubts I am feeling weak. Summoned by the gods above. I hear my prayer until my voice is out of reach. Searching for a path that leads me to love. Solitude is what I seek. In a world so loud, I crave a moment of peace. Yearning for a brightness that never cease. I came to restore my strength to the guidance within. To find a way to return to the source of life. Trying to break through walls that keep me pinned.
By Tracie Sperling11 months ago in Motivation
Christmas Wish
An unexpected gift from a secret Santa had arrived. It’s time to spread your wings and fly. Oh what a joy to be free. With joy in our hearts, we’ll chase the dreams that thrive. Santa can you hear me, I have only one wish this year. This is our Christmas wish for the first time. It’s Christmas time in the city. There was magic and love in the air. And it’s magic time to forget all the other years of our love and in our lives. Every laughter dances like light. Oh what a dream about this Christmas we share and we need each other. We can make it real with the ones we love so much. So bring your fancy gifts and bring your Christmas tree. Santa will bring a bag of new toys. Hey Santa could you bring me something nice, sweet, and happy? And there will be happiness for every man boy and girl. When we are chasing old Christmas gifts with the sweetness of our lives. We are going to celebrate with all our friends and family. My dear one christmas day I thank the good old Santa Claus that I can only have. But hurry up and carry me you know it's you and me and trying to make me. Waiting for Santa to arrive and you better not pout because I am telling you why. When we wake up in the morning all you hear is bells ringing. And we will be okay for Christmas Day to meet you at your door. And they’ll have a happy new year oh what a lucky night. I hope this year would be good for you and me and for always. Together they’ll shine bright, creating our own reality. Oh what a shame if you can't find the good without the brand new pain in the world of chaos. Hand to hand, we’ll laugh through each stormy endeavor. Lord I pray that someday you’ll be home and we’ll be home for Christmas. Cause the snow begins to fall in love and the light will be shining down on christmas. And we’ll take our chances making merry work for weeks.Make it a holiday for the rest of our lives. Yes merry Christmas and we will be glad we got there with the rest of our lives. And we will celebrate the day when all the things we have will stay with us. Now they say Santa is going to take us to a place where we could rest forever. But we will some will let it keep us warm in peace. Unfortunately, this year Christmas doesn’t feel quite like Christmas. I miss that holiday cheer with that uplifting spirit. Grief is awful but at Christmas time it feels 100x worse. I know I am not the only one grieving just now. , heart goes out to anyone missing a loved one this year. Remember not everyone is going to be holly jolly all season. People are grieving, financially stressed, burnt out, doing the best they can. Holidays are a tough time of year for a lot of folks and you never know what someone else is going through. And we will do what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. No matter what the weather. I'll take this for what it's worth even if it hurts. Just as long as I could give you what you say you deserve. Let there be a joyous rebirth. When the time is right, I know I will see the light next year. There will be peace in the valley for me one day. Let there be a guidance I could draw near. “All I want for Christmas is a clear mind, laughter with friends, a happy home, a healthy family, sunshine in abundance, adventures that lift the spirit, memories with my nearest and dearest, and a guiding light for those in need.” -Alysha Waghorn.
By Tracie Sperlingabout a year ago in Feast
Untitled
“The only thing to fear is fear itself”. What does it take to overcome fear? Fear wraps my heart like a cold-blooded flower. Fear is a liar because people hide behind it like a disguise. Lost in shadows, I’m searching for my self. Trying to figure out who I am. I don’t know how I got here but I’m dying to know the truth within myself. Navigating the obstacles of life. In the whirlwind of life, I silently sway. Learning adulting and taking on new responsibilities. I live in a world where I don’t want to grow up. I was never independent on my own before and always relied on my parents for support. Used to getting my way. Now, I am too focused on what I have lost such as loved ones and finances. It’s like a vicious cycle. Trying to find my way back home. I guess I will never learn to “let go” until the moment has come. No one else will do what I have to do because I am stronger than you. In the mirror, I meet a ghost of myself. Feeling faded overcome with depression and anxiety. In the mirror, I face all unknown things. And there’s no choice between the pain and sorrow I feel affecting your heartbeat for your concern about my emotional health and well being. I have been waiting for this time to heal my wounds from an empty life. My gambling addiction became my escape outlet which was used as an emotional crutch. I was dancing on the edge, afraid to cross the line. I was addicted to my own perception. Being selfish, egotistical, refusing to admit that I have low self esteem and seek acceptance and being in denial that I have a serious problem and needed a therapist and psychiatrist for help. However, I realize the only person who could help is myself. Breaking promises by losing motivation to change bad habits. Made out of things that are just false words they say. Being stubborn never listening to advice. It really doesn’t matter what I do or say. But I can’t stop repeating myself. My actions always have consequences. I cause damage to myself. I don’t learn from my mistakes. But I can’t seem to keep myself from breaking down. Especially, when I feel the pressure coming on. I try to keep my thoughts above the river. Not always living in the present moment. Facing regret and trying to make amends. Or having fear/worry about my future. I am scared for what may happen down the road. I want to be financially stable but how can I when I tend to overspend and impulse buy and don’t keep track of my expenses. I feel like I am barely scraping by struggling to pay my everyday bills. I get lost in my own ears then try to be responsible for. The present is a gift I shouldn’t forget the past I never had to. Sometimes every day is a battle just to get by. Learning self discipline and trying not to lose control. I won’t let it happen again I don’t ask how. In the silence, my fears creep and take their toll. I just want things to settle down with peace and know that I will be alright someday. Through the shadows, I hope to find my way. I’d rather run away from the game I used to play. I feel like every time I try to fix one thing something else happens and falls apart. There is no proper balance. I hope that something changes. I need to wake up to reality. And all that I can do is keep on getting better each day. One step at a time. In the dark corners, I search for a sign. I need to believe in something that there is a “higher power”. Whispers of hope within this hour. No longer will I let fear wrap my heart like a cold-blooded flower. But I will make towards the end and maybe get on with the little things. I won’t give up without a fight and take it all for granted. Facing fears, even when my heart feels so stranded. But I can keep my head held up high and thank god because I am never giving up.
By Tracie Sperlingabout a year ago in Poets
Fountain of Youth
Define child play? A child who is lost in the world having a crazy imagination. Reflecting back on the younger years when we were carefree. We were young, wild, and free. Thankful for the memories like a broken record playing the same, old song. Bittersweet memories, now part of my broken, rearranged heart. But life has changed me and I know I have changed. I wish I knew then what I know now. Through the times I have grown. I am filled with regret but, my heart still beats. In this life, regrets are just lessons we’ve arranged. Lost in the past, with every mistake. We were young and dumb. Clueless as to who we wanted to be. I want to go back to when I was young when I was a kid. I don’t blame you for taking the easy way out. I just thought I could do without thinking about the future. I remember when I was younger we were so cheap and shaped. It must’ve seemed like yesterday. How time flies by. Still remember the thrill and the thrill of the ride. I still feel the joy, even though we’ve rearranged. I remember how I used to laugh and joke.
By Tracie Sperlingabout a year ago in Poets
The Gambler
Life is all about taking a risk. It’s not too late just a game to play. Not about what you have done. I have no choice but to behave like one too many gets taxed. I break the rules and find my way in the abyss.I’m a rebel trying to live free. Rebel against the norm, live your life unapologetically true. I’m breaking free rewriting my future. Take a chance and believe in me. I won’t let you down this time. Try to believe in yourself to see the next day. And believe that there’s nobody to blame but you and yourself. You can’t blame it on the lost of a loved one where gambling was used as an escape outlet. No more making excuses. There’s no one left to hide what’s hidden from yourself. Unleash the fire in my heart. Begin anew with a fresh start.
By Tracie Sperling2 years ago in Poets
Forever and Ever
What has humanity come to? Some individuals do not have a shred of decency. Until we are no more than animals in a zoo who are out of control and keeps reproducing without taking any responsibility. Reality is a consequence of liberty. We live to question what we are and what we are we will never be free. Just an illusion as we live the end of a good world without hope of god. Humanity has created such a butterfly tragedy but, we have no hope. In this world of chaos, hope replaces our indecency. When we are broken, we find the strength to keep dreaming. We must have love for our selves. But we alone are filled with hate and discontent. We are in need of redemption. Though there are those who do not want to be healed but, there is proof we need it. This is the day we fall in fear and it will come back to haunt us how our life was. Some of us have forgotten what we are here and who we condone. We have lost our way and live in the shadows of our fathers. We only see what we want to see as we all become. But in the end we must learn to see clearly. The truth is only a question of what was once innocent. We find the proof of it in every one we know that we’ll never be. The truth is only a matter of time until the end of time we can start. Only our pure wisdom dwells in our world of our own mistake found out of our own. We must be prepared to find solace in the great unknown through the storms of life. So that we must accept that we are nothing but flesh who endures human suffering in the eyes of those who are more than as we are grown. We have to learn to live with the suffering with a world that’s torn apart. There is too much violence and crime. From the sounds of the war that we reached down to the last of our own streets. The violence that we feel will take the place of everything. What will become of us is worthless hurt and selfishness. In the youth, we're nothing but a shell of a man is a living stone. We are the children of the wind that leaps. We are the ones who don't know the meaning of ourselves. What have we become so uncertain how to believe in. We are condemned to live in this world without fear of death we are not. The will to live is a must to survive. We must pray for eternity through tears and pain. We are the voice that speaks. And anyone who fears to listen can be someone who makes the world go upright. And every heart now bleeds and must rise above the wreckage. This is the path we chose for ourselves we cannot believe. We cannot use our souls as our own love grows stronger and stronger as the road leads to our destination we all carry out our own demise. We must trust in god who decides what is right and what’s wrong. The creator of our own design. Trust me there is a bigger plan. We are only human beings who makes mistakes. We are all guilty of the same sin. One must fall down to be saved. It’s the beginning a choice of this kind that we cannot be replaced through advanced technology such as AL. I’ll swipe right for love, not these heartless robots. Wrapped up in emotions, we dance to the beat. Emotions flow like rivers, guiding us towards eternal bliss. We are forever as one we are the unborn seeds we are the roots of this world. This is the end of all beginnings and beginnings again and again. Every single thing that you make in this world is an endless circle. We must have a feeling that we are something more than just flesh and bone. When I think about death it’s not just a decaying body with worms that turns into ash. For all of us to believe in the spirit born we are in this together. A vapor of a million souls we have got to count them. It is the power of will I told you by the words of a million. Forget that we all have to die and we might not stop to rise above. We are here on the edge on the edge of what it’s like to pass your breath. Love is a breath of hope as we conquer obstacles. We are the ones who can bring the past and the future to us is how it grows. All that you said and all that you are hasn’t happened yet. How can you be so sure about the things that we are. We are all of the things you will have been an external empire we must go on.
By Tracie Sperling2 years ago in Poets
My Life Is A Movie
My life is a movie. Facing ups and downs like an emotional rollercoaster. Acting confident like everything is fine as a front to hide the real pain. Putting on a smile for others. Dealing with ‘when things don’t go as planned’. You should only know the drama that happens behind closed doors. Feeling like a failure when you screw up. Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders like a heavy burden. Find serenity in the chaos. Keep yourself busy from all the distractions.
By Tracie Sperling2 years ago in Poets
Is The Load I Carry
“You can’t skip chapters that’s not how life works. You have to read every line meet every character. You will not enjoy all of it. Hell, some chapters will make you cry for weeks. You will read things you don’t want to read, you will have moments where you don’t want the pages to end. But you have to keep going. Stories keep the world revolving. Live yours, don’t miss out.”(Pillow Thoughts II). Life is like a book. Some chapters are sad, some are happy and some are exciting, but if you never turn the page, you will never know what the next chapter has in store for you. Treat me like your favorite book. And stroke my spine delicately. Remember my tiny details. And all your favorite parts. Read me again and again and fall in love with my story. I will not lose my worth in a spirit of a curse. I’m not afraid to break free from this pathetic message in the bottom of a weary verse. I’m tired of trying, it’s time to reverse.
By Tracie Sperling2 years ago in Poets
But I Cannot Make It
I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being”- Jackie Robinson. So, you want to be a human or citizen don’t let the hurt they have caused define your worth, rise above. I will not let their words push me down before I am taking advantage of my love. Don’t let them make you unhappy and give away your affection. Life lessons taught me, seek respect not perfection. You think this is the world and you are just a product of their environment, and you cannot make it. It will be inevitable that God just allows you to enjoy the moment. Stop being always available to people who are just there for you when it’s convenient for them. et me be clear, my love is unconditional but your presence in my life is not. The moment you prove that the value of me does not measure up to yourself worth, I’ll have no problem unconditionally loving the memory of you and moving on. If they walk away, let them go. If they don't value you enough to work through the hard times, they don't deserve all the good times. And you gotta read between the lines I’m searching for a way to heal all the last rhymes.
By Tracie Sperling2 years ago in Poets
We will be together
Happiness is homemade. Dancing through the night, heart aflame like fireworks that never fade. “ For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness”-Ralph Waldo Emerson. You do not realize you are a lucky man. Thank you for your casual security. It’s not too late to change. Tired of you playing games. It’s no good to play when everyone is at war with you don’t have a single mate. No take over yourself when the feelings start to fade. You are not alone at the end of the day. When you think you got it all all the days I wished you stayed however, you misbehaved. Good things come to those who wait. The greatest of all that tomorrow does not forget to grow a heart like those. And you don’t have to give up time because you don’t get saved. It’s not worth it to lose your way. I’ll keep dancing through heartbreak, knowing joy will soon awake. I will find the strength I need to mend and remake. The times you thought were it wasn’t good enough for you to lose a break.
By Tracie Sperling2 years ago in Motivation
Lonely I Fall In Love
Love is a rollercoaster you just have to find the one who will ride it with you. I don’t have that… I'm drowning in tears, searching for a lifeline to hold onto. Relationships are challenging they make you even grow or walk away! If you are not mature enough to say I am sorry or to find solutions to fix problems or selfish or keeping your eye out for the next big thing you will fail! But if you put in the effort stay loyal honest true and try success will be met. It seems like at this point this is not possible anymore…seems the other person isn’t willing to be that committed or only committed on THEIR terms. Only one is truly invested in that idea and it’s draining when it’s not reciprocated. Couples give up too easily nowadays. No one wants to love and be loved anymore. It’s hard to find a good man who will listen. The guy usually doesn’t match that. Good words don’t match his actions. My other half is giving up and it’s been the roughest 3 weeks of my life. A real relationship is a team effort where you hold each other’s hands through the storm. That’s the way all real relationships should be. Not going to happen these days no respect is given which is why people prefer to stay single. I want this so badly but, I feel like I am fighting a losing battle because he has given up already. It’s hard to find someone who cares enough to keep trying.
By Tracie Sperling2 years ago in Poets
