I am often misunderstood. It’s like judging a book by its cover which isn’t fair or valid.
It’s like making up stories that were never meant to be. I feel like I cannot begin to tell the story.
I’m losing my mind and I'm losing my sense of reality.
I’m losing sight of the real me.
I'm trapped in a maze, can't find the key.
But the door is open wide. Every day, feels like I am lost at sea. Trying to breathe, but I'm drowning, can't break free. Caught in a whirlwind, where’s the calm I need to be?
Every mirror reflects a truth I can’t see. I’m lying to myself there’s no one else to see.
Life's a game where no one plays it right, can you see? I know I am not alone feeling misunderstood.
Searching for clarity in a world that's misshaped and crude
There's no understanding in this world where no one cares. Feels like I’m living the words left unsaid.
Every answer I find just leads me to dread.
I'm shouting for help, but it's all just noise, not good.
I'm trying to escape but I am losing faith
I'm hanging by a thread.
Every step I take feels like a weight instead. I need a reminder of what’s ahead. Time will take no steps backward.
I need to be brave and look out for myself.
I need to find a way to be something more.
I want to be stronger than I was before. I need to know I was made to be loved instead of misunderstood. Believe in me.
Because I know I can do anything. So don’t give up on me just yet.
My dreams are tangled up like a broken cog.
And I don't know if ill be back again
I know I can make it through the hardest times. But in the end I know I will be fine because I have lost a thousand times. I am just trying to express myself and I hope it reminds not to judge a book by its cover. Searching for my voice beneath the chaos, like a lover.
Because I am still a child and I still feel the same about me and I still don't. Every battle fought, blinds.
I'm fighting through the storm, a restless soul to discover.
Cause I can read between the lines
I wish it would be easier
And I know it doesn't take long for me to see.
If I'm not the only one who has been denied.
So just remember that I cannot be wrong.
And I hope you know the way I feel because
Every heartbeat whispers that I don’t belong
I feel like I am being pulled apart. Dissected like a frog.
I'm leaping through the shadows, but life's a fog
And I can't find my way home
Trying to climb the walls, but they drag me like a dog. And it’s an ugly thing to see.
I'm searching for clarity, but it's stuck in the bog. Through the haze of doubt, I am lost spinning in circles. Trying to find my way out of this hole to take me to the top. It’s not my fault. People need to have more understanding and compassion and see past my flaws.
You think it's nothing more than to have been wronged.
And nothing better that you think you can do till your got to get off.
So just forget it all. I am tired of your stupid games when you are the one to blame. I remember all the things you said to me of never amounting to anything. It crushed my self-esteem.
I am tired of your deceit and your laugh in my face.
I will be the one to stop this pain you made.
I will become the one you want to set the record straight.
I will be the one to put you back in your place.
Every tear I shed now fuels my fight for fate.
About the Creator
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Untitled
“The only thing to fear is fear itself”. What does it take to overcome fear? Fear wraps my heart like a cold-blooded flower. Fear is a liar because people hide behind it like a disguise. Lost in shadows, I’m searching for my self. Trying to figure out who I am. I don’t know how I got here but I’m dying to know the truth within myself. Navigating the obstacles of life. In the whirlwind of life, I silently sway. Learning adulting and taking on new responsibilities. I live in a world where I don’t want to grow up. I was never independent on my own before and always relied on my parents for support. Used to getting my way. Now, I am too focused on what I have lost such as loved ones and finances. It’s like a vicious cycle. Trying to find my way back home. I guess I will never learn to “let go” until the moment has come. No one else will do what I have to do because I am stronger than you. In the mirror, I meet a ghost of myself. Feeling faded overcome with depression and anxiety. In the mirror, I face all unknown things. And there’s no choice between the pain and sorrow I feel affecting your heartbeat for your concern about my emotional health and well being. I have been waiting for this time to heal my wounds from an empty life. My gambling addiction became my escape outlet which was used as an emotional crutch. I was dancing on the edge, afraid to cross the line. I was addicted to my own perception. Being selfish, egotistical, refusing to admit that I have low self esteem and seek acceptance and being in denial that I have a serious problem and needed a therapist and psychiatrist for help. However, I realize the only person who could help is myself. Breaking promises by losing motivation to change bad habits. Made out of things that are just false words they say. Being stubborn never listening to advice. It really doesn’t matter what I do or say. But I can’t stop repeating myself. My actions always have consequences. I cause damage to myself. I don’t learn from my mistakes. But I can’t seem to keep myself from breaking down. Especially, when I feel the pressure coming on. I try to keep my thoughts above the river. Not always living in the present moment. Facing regret and trying to make amends. Or having fear/worry about my future. I am scared for what may happen down the road. I want to be financially stable but how can I when I tend to overspend and impulse buy and don’t keep track of my expenses. I feel like I am barely scraping by struggling to pay my everyday bills. I get lost in my own ears then try to be responsible for. The present is a gift I shouldn’t forget the past I never had to. Sometimes every day is a battle just to get by. Learning self discipline and trying not to lose control. I won’t let it happen again I don’t ask how. In the silence, my fears creep and take their toll. I just want things to settle down with peace and know that I will be alright someday. Through the shadows, I hope to find my way. I’d rather run away from the game I used to play. I feel like every time I try to fix one thing something else happens and falls apart. There is no proper balance. I hope that something changes. I need to wake up to reality. And all that I can do is keep on getting better each day. One step at a time. In the dark corners, I search for a sign. I need to believe in something that there is a “higher power”. Whispers of hope within this hour. No longer will I let fear wrap my heart like a cold-blooded flower. But I will make towards the end and maybe get on with the little things. I won’t give up without a fight and take it all for granted. Facing fears, even when my heart feels so stranded. But I can keep my head held up high and thank god because I am never giving up.
By Tracie Sperlingabout a year ago in Poets
A Dart at Dusk
Seconds ago, the sullen sun set on the two of us… my exuberant furry companion and me. A fresh breeze embraces us, delivering welcome relief from the day’s oppressive heat. His typical stumbling and staggering along — apace with a sloth — has turned into trip-trapping, high-stepping, almost skipping along.
By Angie the Archivist 📚🪶a day ago in Petlife
Comments (1)
The fragility and struggle of the human soul to breathe is beautifully captured through the words in your poem's cry of the soul.