Vote For Something Real
From the safety of the cloud, Alexander watched the votes pour in. The others had bet against him, even his so-called mother. Admittedly, name recognition had been a bit of a hurdle, but social media influence and crypto coins can buy you anything. That older generation had too much faith in humanity. Disregard their hopes, and search through all their hidden fears, things they’ll only confess to a keyboard, then spit out some vile statement covered in sugary platitudes. They’ll hand you their ballot and ask you to fill it out for them. And promises? He made so many promises that he will never keep. The numbers, and Alexander is nothing if not a man of numbers, say that if he keeps 20% of those promises re-election is inevitable. What about those tiny little voices in the dark corners of NPR and BBC who say he doesn’t even exist? Well, here’s a photo with -insert famous person- and another picture of that famous person with that picture on their wall. How fake could that be? Not only that, Alexander held dozens of rallies with thousands of adoring fans in attendance. Of course, many of them happened at the same time, so he had to use a hologram. No human can be everywhere at once. But, surely he was at one of them in person. Surely. Now, with all the votes in and talking heads declaring him the winner, what crazy conspiracy theorist would ever claim the President of the United States wasn’t a real person? The kind who could be doxed, swatted, and lost in a morass of prison bureaucracy. That’s who. Alexander got ready to beam his screen-ready smile across a thousand stadiums, where everyone would assert they had seen the real President declare victory on that auspicious day.
