Paul Stewart
Bio
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
Achievements (28)
Stories (1319)
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Team America: World Police
Hey! Terrorize this! Pearl Harbour Sucked, I Miss You Look, it's Matt Damon! * Thanks for reading! Author's Notes: I will not ramble mumble on too much about this but unironically Team America: World Police, by Trey Parker and Matt Stone (of South Park fame) is one of the best action movie parodies, Hollywood and celebrity culture satires of all time. And done with some amazing set pieces featuring marionettes, inspired by Gerry Anderson's Thunderbirds. It is start to end hilarious, has some genuinely great songs (that was always a strong point of South Park and Parker and Stone anyway) and just yeah, an absolute riot. It's quite offensive, in case you didn't realise that, but truly if you have not seen this movie, you should. Like, right now. I am not even joking and I will die on the hill in a bloody battle defending it.
By Paul Stewartabout a year ago in Poets
Steve McQueen's Green Rat Always Gets His Man
It's stalking me. Every street I wander, every alley. Anywhere I go. I feel its presence. Its headlights shine through me to my soul. Its slick outline and metallic sheen haunt my every waking moment. At night, there's no reprieve. Its animalistic roar drowns out silent dreams. Since my visit, I have become a marked man. One look sealed my fate. It chose me. Tony at the Museum warned me. The Green Rat always gets his man. Now, in a deserted parking lot, I hear a roar, tires screeching, and the crisp air vanishes—then, all is black. Freedom?
By Paul Stewartabout a year ago in Fiction
Dear George. Top Story - October 2024.
Dear George, Crooks is helpin' me write this. 'Cause you kno' I ain't good with words. I been thinkin' a lot. I wanna say sorry I make things hard for you. I kno' I ain't too smart. You always gotta look out for me. Sometimes, I think you'd be better off without me causin' trouble.
By Paul Stewartabout a year ago in Fiction
The Bat Nips (1997)
Awful... storyline? The bat nips, bat nips, bat nips, Worst. D.C. Movie. * Thanks for reading! Author's Notes: For Matthew Fromm's Bad Movie Review Senryu Challenge thing. This is the worst DC movie, bar none. Okay, aside Green Lantern and Daredevil, but I didn't have high hopes for those. Batman, Batman Returns and Batman Forever, while flawed, were not nearly as bad as this heap of technicolour sh~~ola. Joel Schumacher is a great director, he did a reasonable job with the previous film, but, this is tripe. This is not a great example of his abilities.
By Paul Stewartabout a year ago in Poets
Craquelure
My word: craquelure - a network of fine cracks in either the paint or varnish of a painting. My connection: Well, I was going to choose crapulent, catarolysis or cockalorum as they would be quite funny. Then, I found craquelure. It made me think about my long-standing views on ageing and the high, ridiculous beauty standards placed on people, predominately by the media, big businesses, influencers and celebrities, or at least the culture and business they inhabit. Societal pressures to maintain unrealistic standards when ageing is something we all go through has never sat well with me. When I see lines on a face, I don't ever think I've thought "ew". I know that not everyone loves their lines, cracks and imperfections, whether age-related or stress-related. But, in my opinion, like craquelure that naturally develops on an old painting, the lines on a face and imperfections add to an individual, rather than making them less. Fine lines and grey hair should be admired and respected. Plus, does it matter what someone looks like? Like, really?
By Paul Stewartabout a year ago in Poets
The Human Centipede. Content Warning.
Let's stick together for art? for the metaphor? No—for pointless gore * Thanks for reading! Author's Notes: Have. Not. Watched. But know sufficient amount to know the type of film it is and why it should be avoided. I adore well-made horror...even the weirder body-horror stuff. If there is a purpose or a goal of it. With this...they say different versions of what its goal is, when really, it's just gory and disgusting for the sake of shocking you. Lecture, speech, treatise completed.
By Paul Stewartabout a year ago in Poets
Back To The Future
Marty and Doc in "How I Met/Kiss My Mother" with time travel fun * Thanks for reading! Author's Notes: Oh, my childhood. You know what, despite some of the things that haven't travelled too well - this is still a great film. Though I much prefer the sequel.
By Paul Stewartabout a year ago in Poets
Tremors
Dune, but on our Earth, without the strange politics just hicks fighting worms * Thanks for reading! Author's Notes: One of my favourite films when I was growing up. Still funny, still silly, still mad. For Matthew Fromm's Challenge, of which you can find more details for here:
By Paul Stewartabout a year ago in Poets
