This conversation happened on August 5, 2024 as the news of Kamala Harris making her VP pick was seeping through the media.
“Hello, Donnie?”
“Yes, Vlad.” [weary] “I’m getting so many calls these days, from so many famous people, like Mark Zukaberg is calling me almost every day to apologize for the doctored photo of my assassination, can you imagine someone doctored my ‘fight!’ photo? And Mark called me to apologize for that and to say he had so much respect for me, so much respect he would never vote for any Democrat. Can you believe it, he’d never vote for any Democrat! Tim Apple said so too, and Elon Musk!”
“Are you still mad at me, Donnie?”
“For what?”
“For doing the prisoner exchange with Biden instead of you?”
“Why, do you think I should be mad for that? Really, Vlad? I actually praised you for the successful operation at my rallies. It was a very successful operation, congratulations!”
“So, no beef between us, then?”
“I still can’t believe you did it with Biden and not me, Vlad. With f*cking Biden!”
“I told you I couldn’t wait any more, Donnie.” [incoming text] “Look at that photo, Donnie!”
“I’ve seen it, many times, Vlad, and the video too. It was all over the news. All over! You’ve given him a welcome like to a state leader, red carpet, the honor guards, and all.”
“He deserves it, Donnie.”
“Really? How? Isn’t he just an assassin, a killer for hire?”
“He is MY assassin, Donnie. A true patriot and a brother. Do you understand the concept of the fraternity?”
“Of course I do, I was a military cadet for five years.”
“Oh, you mean when you were like 13?”
“All the way to 17, Vlad. Those were my formative years. Very formative years, tremendously formative.”
“Sure, sure, Donnie, then you should understand why I couldn’t leave my brother in a German prison much longer. I promised him I’d get him out.”
“But why couldn’t you wait until I got elected, Vlad? Just three more months! You could have waited, just a little longer.”
“I told you I couldn’t wait, Donnie. Can you imagine, he never ratted me out, never uttered a word when interrogated! And those Germans can be really harsh during interrogations, Donnie. He never broke, didn’t even give them his own name. Just stared at them, silently and fiercely. You have to admire that, Donnie, that kind of loyalty is rare.”
“Yeah, so how did they know it was really him if he didn’t give them his name?”
“We live in the age of the Internet and Interpol, Donnie, there are other ways of identifying people these days. But enough about that. I promise you I will do the next swap with you only. I still have several burned spies and hackers in Western prisons I want back.”
“Yeah? But you don’t have enough prominent Americans or Germans in your prisons, Vlad.”
“You just watch me, Donnie. There are enough prominent stupid Americans who still travel to Russia, against all the warnings and common sense. Also, there’s no shortage of dual citizens who want to visit their relatives in Russia. I’ll set up a couple of traps, you’ll see. Like Gershkovich wanted to get an interview from me, let him come here again!”
“Oh, that’s cunning, Vlad.”
“I’m only in the business of war with the West, Donnie, where all means are good for my ends, and I can’t wait for you to join me!”
“Me too, Vlad! Wait, what? The war with who?”
“Whom, Donnie, I meant Ukraine.”
“Uhum, got it. How’s that going, Vlad?”
“So far, so good. I think we are closer to getting Zelenskyy to start negotiating. I’ll time it for your election victory, Donnie.”
“That would be really nice, Vlad.” [dreamily]
“It would, indeed. Meanwhile, who do you think Harris will pick as her VP?”
“How would I know? And why would I care? I don’t care at all!”
“But you should, Donnie, because her choice may give her even more momentum.”
“Don’t even talk with me about Laffin’ Kamala, Vlad!”
“Oh, Ok then, Donnie, bye!”
Trump, after hanging up, “That was weird. I hope he isn’t mad at me.”
About the Creator
Lana V Lynx
Avid reader and occasional writer of satire and short fiction. For my own sanity and security, I write under a pen name. My books: Moscow Calling - 2017 and President & Psychiatrist
@lanalynx.bsky.social
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Ditched - Index
This index is just for my subscribers. I finished and published this long story or short novella of 6,000 words recently. I tried to link all previous parts of the story in the next one, so if you went along you shouldn't have been lost. This index is just put everything in one place.
By Lana V LynxExclusive • 4 months ago
Time to Dump Trump? Europeans Whisper Last-Resort Options to Save Greenland
In diplomatic circles across Europe, a phrase once unthinkable is now being whispered behind closed doors: What if the alliance can’t hold? As renewed pressure from former U.S. President Donald Trump resurfaces over Greenland, European officials are reportedly discussing last-resort options to safeguard the strategically vital Arctic territory — even if it means distancing themselves from Washington. While public statements remain carefully measured, private conversations suggest a growing anxiety: Greenland has become a geopolitical fault line, testing NATO solidarity, transatlantic trust, and Europe’s ability to defend its own interests. Why Greenland Is Suddenly at the Center of Global Power Politics Greenland is not just the world’s largest island. It is a strategic prize. Located between North America and Europe, Greenland sits at the crossroads of Arctic shipping lanes, missile defense routes, and untapped reserves of rare earth minerals. As climate change melts Arctic ice, access to these routes and resources is expanding — turning the region into a global competition zone. The United States already maintains a military presence in Greenland through Thule Air Base, vital to missile warning and space surveillance. But Trump’s earlier proposal to buy Greenland outright shocked European capitals and Denmark alike, reframing the island not as a partner but as a commodity. Now, with Trump once again influencing U.S. foreign policy discourse, European leaders fear that economic pressure, security leverage, or political coercion could return. Denmark’s Dilemma and Europe’s Unease Greenland is an autonomous territory within the Kingdom of Denmark, and Copenhagen has repeatedly stated that it is not for sale. Yet Denmark alone lacks the political and military weight to counter sustained pressure from Washington. That’s where Europe enters the picture. Behind the scenes, diplomats from Germany, France, and Nordic countries are reportedly discussing how to shield Denmark and Greenland from unilateral U.S. moves. These discussions are not about confrontation — at least not yet — but about contingency planning. The uncomfortable truth is this: Europe has long relied on the U.S. for Arctic security, and challenging Washington risks exposing Europe’s own strategic weaknesses. What Are the “Last-Resort Options”? European officials are careful not to spell out these ideas publicly, but analysts point to several possibilities under quiet consideration. 1. Deepening EU Involvement in Greenland One option is stronger European Union engagement with Greenland — economically, politically, and diplomatically. This could include increased investment in infrastructure, climate research, and sustainable mining projects to reduce Greenland’s reliance on external powers. By anchoring Greenland more firmly within Europe’s economic orbit, the EU could make any U.S. attempt at leverage far more complicated. 2. Expanded European Security Presence Another option involves enhancing European defense cooperation in the Arctic, potentially through joint patrols, surveillance missions, or NATO-aligned European initiatives that do not rely solely on U.S. leadership. This would be a delicate move, as NATO cohesion depends heavily on U.S. participation. Still, some European officials believe greater autonomy is overdue. 3. Legal and Diplomatic Shields Europe could also pursue stronger legal frameworks affirming Greenland’s right to self-determination and Denmark’s sovereignty. While largely symbolic, such measures would raise the diplomatic cost of any aggressive maneuver. In extreme scenarios, coordinated diplomatic resistance — even sanctions or formal rebukes — could be considered, though most officials view this as a true last resort. Why Trump Changes the Equation European leaders are accustomed to managing disagreements with Washington. What makes Trump different is unpredictability. During his presidency, Trump repeatedly questioned NATO commitments, framed alliances as transactional, and blurred the line between negotiation and coercion. His interest in Greenland was not just strategic — it was personal, public, and disruptive. The fear in Europe is not necessarily that Trump would “take” Greenland, but that he might use U.S. security guarantees as leverage, forcing concessions through pressure rather than partnership. For European capitals already dealing with Ukraine, energy insecurity, and domestic political shifts, another transatlantic crisis is the last thing they want. Greenland’s Own Voice Amid the power politics, Greenlanders themselves are increasingly vocal. Many in Greenland support greater autonomy or eventual independence — but not annexation. Local leaders have emphasized that Greenland’s future must be decided by its people, not foreign governments. European officials privately acknowledge that ignoring Greenlandic voices would undermine their moral position. Any European strategy, they argue, must prioritize economic development, environmental protection, and self-governance, not just strategic defense. A Test for Transatlantic Relations At its core, the Greenland issue is about more than territory. It raises uncomfortable questions: Can Europe protect its interests without U.S. backing? Is NATO flexible enough to survive internal disagreements? What happens when allies no longer trust each other’s intentions? For now, European leaders are trying to avoid open confrontation, hoping that diplomacy and quiet deterrence will keep tensions from escalating. But the whispers themselves are revealing. They suggest that Europe is, for the first time in decades, seriously contemplating a future where American leadership is not guaranteed. Why This Moment Matters The Arctic is warming faster than any other region on Earth — physically and politically. What happens in Greenland could set a precedent for how global powers compete in newly accessible regions. If Europe fails to act, it risks appearing passive and divided. If it acts too forcefully, it risks fracturing the transatlantic alliance that has underpinned its security since World War II. It is a narrow path — and one that demands strategic clarity Europe has often postponed. Final Thoughts “Time to dump Trump?” may sound dramatic, but it captures a deeper unease spreading across European capitals. Greenland has become a symbol of a shifting world — one where alliances are tested, assumptions are challenged, and old guarantees no longer feel automatic. Europe is not eager for a break with Washington. But the quiet conversations suggest a realization that preparation is not betrayal. Whether these whispered last-resort options remain theoretical — or become policy — will depend on how the next phase of U.S. politics unfolds. For Greenland, Europe, and the Arctic, the stakes could not be higher.
By Muhammad Hassan3 days ago in The Swamp
Comments (5)
Loving those with my morning brew 🌞☺️
Always a great read, good for the morning laugh
Hahahahahhahaha that ending! Made me laugh so much!
Certainly, an intriguing blend of political drama, personal grievances, and a touch of absurdity! Always love a good laugh! 🤣🤣😂😂 Incredible work, Lana! 💌
Giggling my way through this!! Tremendously — a fave word - hahaha and at the end you probably didn’t realize but you said Donnie said “weird,” and it drives me him nuts when the Dems call him that. 😂😂😂😂 What’s his name? DonALah? Dannydummy? Donniedufus? Dittydonnie? I just can’t pronounce his name right🤣🤣🤣🤣