addiction
The realities of addition; the truth about living under, above and beyond the influence of drugs and alcohol.
I Was An Addict
Addiction comes in many forms. Addiction also has many faces. I know this because I am an addict. I no longer active in my addiction. However once you lose all control and become addicted to something, no matter what it may be the truth is even once you stop this affliction you always have a great chance of returning to it. Or even picking up a new one. Many people who have never had to deal with being an addict or had one they cared about, will tell you that addicts are weak individuals. I don't believe that for one second. As an addict you are not weak, on the contrary most addicts are very strong individuals that unfortunately are trying to most of the time cover up and run from their pain. Whether it be mental, emotional, psychological, or physical pain. Pain comes in many forms and fashions. Just like addictions do.
By Carolyn Leonelli5 years ago in Psyche
Mr. Malpractice
My name is Daisy. I am a recovering heroin addict. I say recovering because, although it's been 7 years since I last stuck a needle in my arm, I don't think I'll ever live an entire day without thinking about the way it felt. Dreaming about that warmth spreading throughout my bloodstream and craving the way that for just a moment, everything went quiet.
By Sydney Severo5 years ago in Psyche
In black and white
“Starting a new chapter…” at least that’s what he thought. It had been almost eight years of non-stop distractions. Roman didn’t want to admit it, but he’d spent most of his twenties constantly staring down at his phone, looking at the clock and pacing back and forth. He’d barely seen the days fly by and here he was, turning thirty in a few days. He couldn’t see a clear path to sorting out his life and the sun had long since set on his tattered shoes. He realized the line between having things under control and completely losing it got blurry and yet he couldn’t seem to make it stop.
By Jessica Bertrand5 years ago in Psyche
Tonight... We're gettin F**ked UP!
So, it's day 487 of the COVID-19 pandemic aka May 5th, 2020. You and a group of friends are spending time celebrating the holiday together. Several shots later and someone pulls out a joint. Fuck it! You don't have work tomorrow or you work from home- you're drunk so it's unclear. Everyone is slowly creeping up from library voices to stadium cheers at the Super Bowl and you are upsetting the neighbors. You continue to pass the joint around and have a good time. The neighbors have asked you to lower your volume but you shrug it off. You start feeling off, but you think, that's just the buzz from the alcohol. When you take the next hit, the nausea sets in and everything gets hazy. Everyone has a twin and the room is now reminding you of why you hate the teacup rides. You continue to walk and dance and you begin to stumble into a fall on the cou...
By Tanisha Robinson5 years ago in Psyche
Winners Mentality
Twenty Thousand Dollar Grand Prize! Jackson held the ticket in his hands staring down at it. After a moment or two he pulls out his black book. He flips it open and begins to jot down numbers frantically. After a few seconds of flipping from page to page, doing a few calculations and scribbling more, he closes the book and holds the ticket out before him.
By Michael Crone5 years ago in Psyche
Opportunity
“You know we shouldn’t be doing this, right? It’s only going to make everything worse.” Still I take another hit from the pipe before getting out of the car. As we walk back in the hospital, nurses have been performing CPR for the past forty-five minutes. Passing through the waiting area, “I will be out here?” I ask in a stating way. With the response, “You might as well come back, you’re pretty much family now.”
By Jessi De Jesus5 years ago in Psyche
Do Drugs, Sex, or Pleasure Help us Find Meaning in Life?
I remember being told if I do drugs, I’ll become an addict, but I always thought only weak people became addicts. I didn’t like being told no, it made me feel obstinate. I needed to know the why behind the what. I needed to know about how hard addiction was to recover from, even for strong and disciplined people. I was one of those stubborn people who had no capacity to learn from the mistakes of others. Instead, I needed to try everything myself, I didn’t trust the opinion of anyone. I remember being told one thing was good and its counterpart was bad, but I wanted to know about the grey in-between. I wanted to know who called it good or bad, and why they did so. I needed the evidence and the statistics and the reasoning behind it. I don’t recall being taught the process of addiction or the reason it’s so hard to come back from. I don’t recall a discussion about how addicts are perceived by the rest of society or how the decisions I made now would start a lifelong battle with ongoing ramifications. Maybe I trusted the opinion of my classmates more than that of the intimidating offer, and they told me drugs were fun and felt good.
By Michael J. Heil5 years ago in Psyche
Settling Accounts
SETTLING ACCOUNTS I sat in the corner booth of Efferding’s Diner where the waitress filled my oversized coffee mug. “You gonna need a box for that?” Of course, I was going to need a box. No one ever came out of Efferding’s eating everything. Unless they were a competitive eater or weighed 900 pounds.
By Aime Wichtendahl5 years ago in Psyche
Freedom
It was another excruciatingly hot day in Tijuana, but JR did not notice. He spent most of his days and nights inside, with the occasional trip to the market. As he lit his pipe, for the tenth time that day, all he could think about was how am I going to get out there of this? The darkness and depression that ruled his mind was full blown after nearly thirty five years of drug and alcohol abuse, and the suicidal thoughts kept creeping in. It shouldn’t be too hard to find a way to die, after all he had spent the last twelve years living in “The most dangerous place on Earth”, as he commonly referred to it. Is today going to be the day, the day I end it all?, he thought to himself. Taking a large drag the Meth quickly entered his system and all was right in the world for a fleeting minute. Temporary bliss...was just that, temporary and the despair moved over him like a thick fog. Alone...he was always alone, then looking over at the dirty coffee table his mind focused on one object.
By Christina Murphy5 years ago in Psyche
How Forming Habits Happens in the Brain
Both good and bad habits can produce dopamine dumps in our brain. Bad habits are often easier and take less work but can deliver similar or higher amounts of dopamine to our brain. When we act on these bad habits, we create long-term potentiation in which we are training our brains to be more responsive to these things. The more we do them, the more we strengthen the connections between these neurons. Over time the desire for these neurons to release the neurotransmitters that give us pleasure grows to becomes so strong that these tiny little turd-buckets rule our lives. When this happens even small triggers like smells or taste or memories can excite the synapse, making us feel an inert need to act on that bad habit. Our brains, neurons, and synapses will ultimately end up where we have trained them to end up, and after a while they will lead us there too.
By Michael J. Heil5 years ago in Psyche
