when the nagging stops
my second entry to the "moment of silence" challenge
shhhh, he says.
i've had a long day
lovers' passion as like to ignite in sparks of fury as romance
easy. that's what he wants. just to relax.
not fighting, not always striving for improvement
chill. he told her. so she did. now she's cold. the quiet stretches long and
eerie.
About the Creator
L.C. Schäfer
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I'm not a writer! I've just had too much coffee!
Sometimes writes under S.E.Holz
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More stories from L.C. Schäfer and writers in Poets and other communities.
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By L.C. SchäferExclusive • about a month ago
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By LUCCIAN LAYTH5 days ago in Critique
Comments (19)
Aww that's mean and sad. Let her express herself. Now she doesn't want to do it anymore and giving him the cold shoulders. Lovely writing 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Oh dear 😳… now I have chills… glad I don’t have to try to sleep for ages 😵💫
Love the ambiguity of this one! Well done!
Lc ~ When all 'Kvetching' stops ~ It can be missed. - I'm in awe of your accomplishments - Jk.in.l.a.
I like how silence has been used here in the negative, to shut down any chance of recovery. "now she's cold." says it all. The spilling over of the last line into "Eerie" is powerful too LC.
Excellent acrostic ✅. Really like: “ quiet stretches long and eerie.”
Dang!! This is very good! “chill. he told her. so she did. now she's cold“ excellent!
Intreging!!! Love it!!!💕❤️❤️
Not me thinking she's cold because she died. Hahahaha. Loved your poem!
The metaphors abound in this LC! Powerful, powerful poetry!
Hmmmm, how long until he realizes the silence has stretched on too long?
Good heavens! If the nagging stopped in this house I'd call the undertaker.
"long and eerie" is...oof. it. felt this one.👏🏻💙
You absolutely nailed this one. Nothing worse than chilly indifference until you feel nothing at all. Hope this one places.
A relationship in microcosm.
Oooh. This is great. Love the ending, how I'm wondering is cold emotionally, or physically..and forever.
Here's my other entry: https://shopping-feedback.today/poets/drumroll%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E I'd be obliged if you give it a look!
Ugh...I love the pauses and just the sublime visuals you produced. I know it's not the strength you think it is - and I've said that before - but when you poem, you poem hard. Fantastic entry.
What a visually evocative poem. I love it.